[video] WRITING CONTEST RESULTS - "A Winner Must Be Chosen"

[lieutenantantichrist]

Well boys and girls, we got us some results. Lemme see here.

[Blake clears his throat with suitable drama as his Snubbull solemnly hands him an envelope.]

Thanks Steve. Third place and one thousand of the weird-ass local money goes to-

[Rip. Unfold]

Number 13, Ryner Lute, with some kind of fairy tale thing about why you should never let a mime run the government.

Second place, with a prize of five thousand rubles or whatever the fuck, is-

[Rip rip]

Number 2, the one about a little girl getting turned into a mime and somehow nobody gets arrested! It's a good day for mimes, and you bet your ass that's never been said by anybody before. That one was by- [Blake squints at the name] The Joker? Does Batman know you're running around here?

All right, drumroll!

[His Solrock rolls around in a circle to approximate it. pattapattapattapatta-- -tear!]

First prize, 7500 pesos and a date with a weirdo, now belongs to Number 7, the long thing about every single damn prompt cause there's always that kid! Nuhnaymi Chee-ack-eye, step right up!

Now, the special categories. Each of these gets their own chance to go bowling with a lunatic and talk about your pet ghosts.

Most Likely to be True goes to Number 12, some household cleaning tips by Kenneth Elm...Alm...Amelie-- Archibald? Hey, Ken, why didn't you ever tell me your name was Archie?

Now, last but not least yadda yadda yadda, we got Funniest. That is Number 8 and its artistic interpretations, by a landslide. Heather Mason, come on down. Hope you don't want the original of that one part back. I, uh, lost it. [In a fire.]

That's it for whatever the hell this was. [Blake leans back with a satisfied air.] Everybody who got cash, it'll get wired straight to your account. Heather, Archie, and Nuhnaymi, give the paper a ring and they'll set up your dates. Congratulations, and all that crap. I'm gonna go get a beer and do something that isn't reading.

[Steve blows on a noisemaker. It goes toot.]

[[OOC: The writing contest is over! The way voting worked is each vote for first got a story 3 points, a vote for second counted as 2, and a vote for third counted as 1. Big thank you to everyone who voted, everyone who participated, and to the mods for a) letting me do this, b) helping me set it up, and c) going above and beyond the call of duty in providing prizes.

lullabytes, enjoymyatelier, and foolishwren, please come down to this thread to pick your NPCs!]]

Comments

IC RESPONSE

[lieutenantantichrist]

[The floor is open.]

[lullabytes]

...I thought I was "Nancy".

[ NANCY IS BETTER THAN WHAT SHE GOT THIS TIME, OKAY... ]

Ah...and I didn't answer last time, but a "sidequest" is an optional task...but you get rewards and things that help you later in the game. It's off of the main story...sometimes actual main story things can seem like sidequests, though.

[lieutenantantichrist]

I read what was on the paper.

[Then get an easier name!]

Is that more Dungeons and Dragons shit?

[lullabytes]

Not really...

[ ABOUT READING HER NAME, HA. ]

It's for all games, you know.

[enjoymyatelier]

...My name isn't Archie.

Or Kenneth or Ken, for that matter.

And Amilie is right out.

[lieutenantantichrist]

That's as close to a real name as that shit comes. What is that in the middle, a dash? That's not a name.

What you got against Amelie?

[enjoymyatelier]

El-Melloi isn't a name, it's a title. Of course there is absolutely nothing wrong with someone having hyphens in their names. I find them quite aesthetically pleasing, thank you very much.

Nothing, when it's applied to other people.

[pipers_son]

[For once, Joker looks like he could pass for an actual normal person since he's forgotten all his circus makeup in his rush to get on the road back to Cherrygrove. Maybe that will make Blake feel better. Or at least make a better impression.]

No 'the', just Joker. People keep mentionin' this Batman fella, maybe I should take a look inta that. [That sure is a lowerclass British accent.] Didn't think I'd win second, so I'd say it's a good day! Thank ya kindly ta everyone who voted~.

An' can we make ya do somethin' like this again? I like yer way a doin' things.

[By which he means it made him laugh with every post. God bless you Lietuenant Carter Blake]

[lieutenantantichrist]

[Some ginger kid with a funny accent is talking to him.]

Yeah, you don't look much like Cesar Romero.

Wait, how the hell does any kid not know who Batman is? Come on, you can't go your whole life without ever seeing a damn comic book.

[Blake shrugs] If I'm dumb enough to hang around town long enough to get dragged into it again, I don't see why not.

[His brow furrows as surprise sets in.] You liked it?

[pipers_son]

Ya would be surprised.

[But let's not get into the 1880s England thing.]

Yeah! Bit more interestin' than if it was some borin' chap dronin' on about rules and winners and "oh these all look so nice". Ya had yer own personality in it. Made it fun.

[cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa]

What? I lost? I losssssst?!

[So much outrage right now.]

I insissst, no I demand a sssecond vote to fix thissss...thisssss insult against my person! That or the absolute abolishment of democracy itself!

[He may be overreacting a bit.]

[pipers_son]

Think about demandin' a drink instead? Might make ya feel better and hopefully less, uh, abolishment a democracy.

Which one did ya write?

[cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa]

What would make me feel better is to have thissss wrong righted! Immediately! And it's obviousssss which one is mine! Completely obvioussss!

[And yet he tried to use a pen name.]

[lieutenantantichrist]

Al Gore wanted a recount too, and all he got was a movie about how SUVs are killing the rainforest.

[Blake doesn't look toward the screen as he straightens up all the papers and crap]

If you want a second opinion, you're also ugly.

[cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa]

I have absolutely no idea what any of that means!

[He's from 1989 at the moment, and cannot fathom how SUVs would be killing the rainforest unless someone's driving them into all the trees or something.]

And that is hardly an opinion!

[It's more or less a fact, and Cobra's never claimed anything to the contrary.]

Re: IC RESPONSE

[tearsofademon]

[Ryner's initial reaction is to kind of choke, because he had a feeling he'd known who wrote that, but to have that kind of confirmation...]

...of course she'd enter it under my name...

[lieutenantantichrist]

[Blake perks up with interest]

Who? We got some fraud going on here?

[tearsofademon]

Rose, my Clefairy...

[nostabbing]

...Oh.

[Evidently writing is not one of the things she is good at.]

Hey, don't pronounce Chiaki's name wrong, you jerk.

[lullabytes]

...Thanks, Alice.

[ You know how to say it right. Although, "Oh..." ]

Which story did you write...?

[nostabbing]

Huh?

[...]

What? No. Nooooo. I didn't do anything like that. I'm an accountant, I do number-y...stuff, not word-y stuff. But hey, you won! Good job!

[lieutenantantichrist]

How'm I supposed to know how to say these things? You got a name like a Chia pet, you take what you can get.

[Blake digs through the pile of entries.]

Hey. Yours was the one about the bird and the big fire, right?

[nostabbing]

No. I didn't write one.

[Surely that seems legit.]

[superordinary]

Um, that's not how you pronounce Nanami-san's name...

[ Comic sans gold star for you, Blake. You tried. ]

A-anyway, those were some really good entries, so congratulations to the winners.

[lieutenantantichrist]

How'm I supposed to keep track of this shit when you go and stick another syllable on the end?

[He tilts his head to the side.] You know, they really weren't bad. Legible, even, and none of them was about shoving a switchblade up anybody's ass.

[That's what most of the literature that passes through his hands is about.]