[video] WRITING CONTEST RESULTS - "A Winner Must Be Chosen"

[lieutenantantichrist]

Well boys and girls, we got us some results. Lemme see here.

[Blake clears his throat with suitable drama as his Snubbull solemnly hands him an envelope.]

Thanks Steve. Third place and one thousand of the weird-ass local money goes to-

[Rip. Unfold]

Number 13, Ryner Lute, with some kind of fairy tale thing about why you should never let a mime run the government.

Second place, with a prize of five thousand rubles or whatever the fuck, is-

[Rip rip]

Number 2, the one about a little girl getting turned into a mime and somehow nobody gets arrested! It's a good day for mimes, and you bet your ass that's never been said by anybody before. That one was by- [Blake squints at the name] The Joker? Does Batman know you're running around here?

All right, drumroll!

[His Solrock rolls around in a circle to approximate it. pattapattapattapatta-- -tear!]

First prize, 7500 pesos and a date with a weirdo, now belongs to Number 7, the long thing about every single damn prompt cause there's always that kid! Nuhnaymi Chee-ack-eye, step right up!

Now, the special categories. Each of these gets their own chance to go bowling with a lunatic and talk about your pet ghosts.

Most Likely to be True goes to Number 12, some household cleaning tips by Kenneth Elm...Alm...Amelie-- Archibald? Hey, Ken, why didn't you ever tell me your name was Archie?

Now, last but not least yadda yadda yadda, we got Funniest. That is Number 8 and its artistic interpretations, by a landslide. Heather Mason, come on down. Hope you don't want the original of that one part back. I, uh, lost it. [In a fire.]

That's it for whatever the hell this was. [Blake leans back with a satisfied air.] Everybody who got cash, it'll get wired straight to your account. Heather, Archie, and Nuhnaymi, give the paper a ring and they'll set up your dates. Congratulations, and all that crap. I'm gonna go get a beer and do something that isn't reading.

[Steve blows on a noisemaker. It goes toot.]

[[OOC: The writing contest is over! The way voting worked is each vote for first got a story 3 points, a vote for second counted as 2, and a vote for third counted as 1. Big thank you to everyone who voted, everyone who participated, and to the mods for a) letting me do this, b) helping me set it up, and c) going above and beyond the call of duty in providing prizes.

lullabytes, enjoymyatelier, and foolishwren, please come down to this thread to pick your NPCs!]]

Comments

[lullabytes]

I'll be back around the eleventh or twelfth or so...but on the fourteenth, I hope you'll still be there. I'm going to have a birthday dinner, and you're invited, okay?

[ She'll eventually get out her invitations if she just keeps asking the people she knows when she remembers. Probably.

...She really should have just made an entry or something, but somehow this has yet to occur to her. ]

[nostabbing]

It's your birthday on Pi Day? Are you going to have pie?

[lullabytes]

...I didn't know it was Pie Day...but I could get a pie.

[ ??? Apparently Americans celebrate Pie? Well, sounds legit. ]

I already know where I want to go to eat, though, so I just have to make sure everyone's in Goldenrod for it...

[nostabbing]

Yeah, pi. You know, like 3.141592653589793238462643383279502884197169399375—

[She could keep going, apparently, but she stops as it occurs to her to try to recall more of what Hardison was always going on about around this time of year. Everybody else was getting ready for St. Patrick's Day around the bar, and Hardison was a few days early getting excited about pies.]

Because March 14th is 3-14. In numbers. Like pi.

[lullabytes]

[ OH. Oh. Okay, math Pi. That makes more sense, especially when the numbers are given out. ]

Oh...I'd never heard of it until now, but I'll make sure there's pie for Pi Day, too. I guess that day is a lot of holidays...? It's also White Day...

[nostabbing]

What's White Day? Do I have to wear white?

[...Actually, didn't Sophie once say...]

Because it's after Labor Day?

[lullabytes]

No...what's Labor Day...? But, White Day comes after Valentines...on Valentines, girls give chocolates to boys...although it's okay to give them to friends who are girls, too. The chocolates are either honmei-choco or giri-choco...the second one is obligation, the first is more...romantic...?

[ SHE'S NOT SURE ABOUT ROMANCE IN GENERAL... ]

Anyway, on White Day boys give return gifts for the chocolates they received...I think you give cookies or that sort of thing...or white things...

[nostabbing]

Oh. I thought it was like...the day when you could start wearing white again or something.

[...]

What if I gave everybody homey-choco?

[lullabytes]

Why wouldn't you be able to wear white to start with...? As to that...I'm not sure. I've never tried to pursue more than one route at once...and really, even just doing one is hard enough...

[ This question might better be directed at someone who is not Nanami. ]

[nostabbing]

...

What?

[QUITE POSSIBLY, YES.]

[lullabytes]

If you gave it to everyone, you'd be trying to get their endings all at once, right...? I think normally they start to fight or get mad at you if you do that. So you can't end up dating anyone.

[nostabbing]

I don't want to date everybody! I just wanted them to eat chocolate!

[lullabytes]

If it was obligation chocolate, you're probably okay...but if it was honmei-choco you should probably give them gifts that they really don't like, so their heart levels are lowered back to friendship.

[ WHAT EXCELLENT ADVICE. ]

[nostabbing]

It wasn't obligation chocolate! It wasn't obligated anything!

[...]

So now I have to give people stuff they hate?

[lullabytes]

You could also try hitting them with butterfly nets or digging holes around their house...

[ That works in Animal Crossing, right? ]

That way their heart levels won't be at the wanting to date you level. Otherwise, you give them their least-favorite gifts or choose conversation choices you know they don't like...

Giving people bugs or rocks or things usually works.

[ THIS IS HORRIBLE ADVICE AND YOU SHOULD NOT TAKE IT. ]

[nostabbing]

...I can hit people with butterfly nets.

[CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.]

[lullabytes]

That's the easiest way, probably...

[ If real life were a video game this advice might be better... ]