[video] WRITING CONTEST RESULTS - "A Winner Must Be Chosen"

[lieutenantantichrist]

Well boys and girls, we got us some results. Lemme see here.

[Blake clears his throat with suitable drama as his Snubbull solemnly hands him an envelope.]

Thanks Steve. Third place and one thousand of the weird-ass local money goes to-

[Rip. Unfold]

Number 13, Ryner Lute, with some kind of fairy tale thing about why you should never let a mime run the government.

Second place, with a prize of five thousand rubles or whatever the fuck, is-

[Rip rip]

Number 2, the one about a little girl getting turned into a mime and somehow nobody gets arrested! It's a good day for mimes, and you bet your ass that's never been said by anybody before. That one was by- [Blake squints at the name] The Joker? Does Batman know you're running around here?

All right, drumroll!

[His Solrock rolls around in a circle to approximate it. pattapattapattapatta-- -tear!]

First prize, 7500 pesos and a date with a weirdo, now belongs to Number 7, the long thing about every single damn prompt cause there's always that kid! Nuhnaymi Chee-ack-eye, step right up!

Now, the special categories. Each of these gets their own chance to go bowling with a lunatic and talk about your pet ghosts.

Most Likely to be True goes to Number 12, some household cleaning tips by Kenneth Elm...Alm...Amelie-- Archibald? Hey, Ken, why didn't you ever tell me your name was Archie?

Now, last but not least yadda yadda yadda, we got Funniest. That is Number 8 and its artistic interpretations, by a landslide. Heather Mason, come on down. Hope you don't want the original of that one part back. I, uh, lost it. [In a fire.]

That's it for whatever the hell this was. [Blake leans back with a satisfied air.] Everybody who got cash, it'll get wired straight to your account. Heather, Archie, and Nuhnaymi, give the paper a ring and they'll set up your dates. Congratulations, and all that crap. I'm gonna go get a beer and do something that isn't reading.

[Steve blows on a noisemaker. It goes toot.]

[[OOC: The writing contest is over! The way voting worked is each vote for first got a story 3 points, a vote for second counted as 2, and a vote for third counted as 1. Big thank you to everyone who voted, everyone who participated, and to the mods for a) letting me do this, b) helping me set it up, and c) going above and beyond the call of duty in providing prizes.

lullabytes, enjoymyatelier, and foolishwren, please come down to this thread to pick your NPCs!]]

Comments

[pipers_son]

Think about demandin' a drink instead? Might make ya feel better and hopefully less, uh, abolishment a democracy.

Which one did ya write?

[cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa]

What would make me feel better is to have thissss wrong righted! Immediately! And it's obviousssss which one is mine! Completely obvioussss!

[And yet he tried to use a pen name.]

[pipers_son]

I really think ya might wanna try a pint.

[But oh, okay, you want him to take a guess?]

...The one about Butterfrees.

[cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa]

And I really think that I didn't ask for your opinion! And no it is not the one about Butterfrees! Why on earth would I, Cobra Commander, write about Butterfrees?

[pipers_son]

Because yer secretly a carin' soul~.

[cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa]

That couldn't be further from the truth.

[pipers_son]

Ain't like I know ya. Know how ta charm snakes?

[cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa]

Unlessss utilizing various frequencies to make the entire animal kingdom, including ssssnakes, do my bidding counts, then no. No, I do not.

[pipers_son]

Then ya ain't much a Cobra Commander, are ya?

[cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa]

Cobra refers to the name of my organization, not actual cobras! Do you have any idea how ridiculoussss that would be? Having an army of cobras to do my bidding?

[...wait that sounds cool. Maybe he should get on that.]

[pipers_son]

...I like it.

Think I'm gonna get my snake charmer on that.

[cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa]

I don't care what you like! Or what you're going to have your ssssnake charmer do!

[pipers_son]

Alright, then we'll just steal that idea for our own~.

[cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa]

It hardly counts as ssstealing if no one wanted it in the first place!