[video] WRITING CONTEST RESULTS - "A Winner Must Be Chosen"

[lieutenantantichrist]

Well boys and girls, we got us some results. Lemme see here.

[Blake clears his throat with suitable drama as his Snubbull solemnly hands him an envelope.]

Thanks Steve. Third place and one thousand of the weird-ass local money goes to-

[Rip. Unfold]

Number 13, Ryner Lute, with some kind of fairy tale thing about why you should never let a mime run the government.

Second place, with a prize of five thousand rubles or whatever the fuck, is-

[Rip rip]

Number 2, the one about a little girl getting turned into a mime and somehow nobody gets arrested! It's a good day for mimes, and you bet your ass that's never been said by anybody before. That one was by- [Blake squints at the name] The Joker? Does Batman know you're running around here?

All right, drumroll!

[His Solrock rolls around in a circle to approximate it. pattapattapattapatta-- -tear!]

First prize, 7500 pesos and a date with a weirdo, now belongs to Number 7, the long thing about every single damn prompt cause there's always that kid! Nuhnaymi Chee-ack-eye, step right up!

Now, the special categories. Each of these gets their own chance to go bowling with a lunatic and talk about your pet ghosts.

Most Likely to be True goes to Number 12, some household cleaning tips by Kenneth Elm...Alm...Amelie-- Archibald? Hey, Ken, why didn't you ever tell me your name was Archie?

Now, last but not least yadda yadda yadda, we got Funniest. That is Number 8 and its artistic interpretations, by a landslide. Heather Mason, come on down. Hope you don't want the original of that one part back. I, uh, lost it. [In a fire.]

That's it for whatever the hell this was. [Blake leans back with a satisfied air.] Everybody who got cash, it'll get wired straight to your account. Heather, Archie, and Nuhnaymi, give the paper a ring and they'll set up your dates. Congratulations, and all that crap. I'm gonna go get a beer and do something that isn't reading.

[Steve blows on a noisemaker. It goes toot.]

[[OOC: The writing contest is over! The way voting worked is each vote for first got a story 3 points, a vote for second counted as 2, and a vote for third counted as 1. Big thank you to everyone who voted, everyone who participated, and to the mods for a) letting me do this, b) helping me set it up, and c) going above and beyond the call of duty in providing prizes.

lullabytes, enjoymyatelier, and foolishwren, please come down to this thread to pick your NPCs!]]

Comments

[nostabbing]

...Oh.

[Evidently writing is not one of the things she is good at.]

Hey, don't pronounce Chiaki's name wrong, you jerk.

[lullabytes]

...Thanks, Alice.

[ You know how to say it right. Although, "Oh..." ]

Which story did you write...?

[nostabbing]

Huh?

[...]

What? No. Nooooo. I didn't do anything like that. I'm an accountant, I do number-y...stuff, not word-y stuff. But hey, you won! Good job!

[lullabytes]

[ ...Is that her job, Nanami did not actually know this about Alice somehow. FILING AWAY THE FACT THAT SHE PRESUMABLY LIKES NUMBERS FOR FUTURE REFERENCE.

She's not convinced by the denial, but whatever, she's not going to press it. ]

...Thanks. I asked him a lot of questions the other day, so I thought...I'd better send in an entry, too...

[ ..........Oh wait, she's talking to Alice. ]

Are you in Goldenrod still?

[nostabbing]

Uh-huh. At the house, where we live. You guys live. Everybody lives.

...

At the house.

[lullabytes]

I'll be back around the eleventh or twelfth or so...but on the fourteenth, I hope you'll still be there. I'm going to have a birthday dinner, and you're invited, okay?

[ She'll eventually get out her invitations if she just keeps asking the people she knows when she remembers. Probably.

...She really should have just made an entry or something, but somehow this has yet to occur to her. ]

[nostabbing]

It's your birthday on Pi Day? Are you going to have pie?

[lullabytes]

...I didn't know it was Pie Day...but I could get a pie.

[ ??? Apparently Americans celebrate Pie? Well, sounds legit. ]

I already know where I want to go to eat, though, so I just have to make sure everyone's in Goldenrod for it...

[nostabbing]

Yeah, pi. You know, like 3.141592653589793238462643383279502884197169399375—

[She could keep going, apparently, but she stops as it occurs to her to try to recall more of what Hardison was always going on about around this time of year. Everybody else was getting ready for St. Patrick's Day around the bar, and Hardison was a few days early getting excited about pies.]

Because March 14th is 3-14. In numbers. Like pi.

[lullabytes]

[ OH. Oh. Okay, math Pi. That makes more sense, especially when the numbers are given out. ]

Oh...I'd never heard of it until now, but I'll make sure there's pie for Pi Day, too. I guess that day is a lot of holidays...? It's also White Day...

[nostabbing]

What's White Day? Do I have to wear white?

[...Actually, didn't Sophie once say...]

Because it's after Labor Day?

[lullabytes]

No...what's Labor Day...? But, White Day comes after Valentines...on Valentines, girls give chocolates to boys...although it's okay to give them to friends who are girls, too. The chocolates are either honmei-choco or giri-choco...the second one is obligation, the first is more...romantic...?

[ SHE'S NOT SURE ABOUT ROMANCE IN GENERAL... ]

Anyway, on White Day boys give return gifts for the chocolates they received...I think you give cookies or that sort of thing...or white things...

[nostabbing]

Oh. I thought it was like...the day when you could start wearing white again or something.

[...]

What if I gave everybody homey-choco?

[lullabytes]

Why wouldn't you be able to wear white to start with...? As to that...I'm not sure. I've never tried to pursue more than one route at once...and really, even just doing one is hard enough...

[ This question might better be directed at someone who is not Nanami. ]

[nostabbing]

...

What?

[QUITE POSSIBLY, YES.]

[lullabytes]

If you gave it to everyone, you'd be trying to get their endings all at once, right...? I think normally they start to fight or get mad at you if you do that. So you can't end up dating anyone.

[lieutenantantichrist]

How'm I supposed to know how to say these things? You got a name like a Chia pet, you take what you can get.

[Blake digs through the pile of entries.]

Hey. Yours was the one about the bird and the big fire, right?

[nostabbing]

No. I didn't write one.

[Surely that seems legit.]

[lieutenantantichrist]

[Blake, who got the names along with them, is undeterred. He looks kind of thoughtful for once.]

You know what? That one was actually pretty good. Had some good points.

[nostabbing]

[Lieutenant, what is this, are you actually being nice to somebody for no other reason than out of the goodness of your heart.

...

You know what, good on you, man.]

I thought you said it was an arson threat.

[lieutenantantichrist]

[Don't you dare accuse him of that.]

Could be, but I've seen a lot worse when it comes to those. Usually they're all rambling and you can barely figure out what they're going on about. That one actually made sense. You know how rare that is?

[nostabbing]

[Accusin' like this is a Phoenix Wright game.]

...It made sense?

[lieutenantantichrist]

Yeah. It is fuckin' weird that a bird would fly off and let its friends get set on fire and come back later to bring them back from the dead. It'd be a lot easier to cut out the middleman there.

And it's weird that something made out of metal could catch fire. [He considers it.] Maybe if you used a shitload of gasoline. I've seen some guys get creative.

[nostabbing]

Well...yeah. It is pretty weird.

Whoever wrote it probably thought about stuff like that. Y'know, how weird it was and everything. 'Cause that doesn't seem right, all that stuff that's wrong with it.

[lieutenantantichrist]

Yeah. Whoever wrote it didn't just swallow this shit at face value like everybody does. I'd almost given up on ever seeing that.