[23] Video/Action for Goldenrod - "ROCK, FLAG, and EAGLE."

[lieutenantantichrist]

[Listen up. It's time for a message from the President.

You could call it the look of the cat who ate the canary, or you could call it plain smug. That's what's on Blake's face as he reclines behind a big, fancy desk in his headquarters.

(If the big, fancy desk happened to be bought cheap because it has a short leg currently propped up by the local yellow pages, who's to know?)]

So maybe you all noticed that idiot in the welding mask got his ass kicked right out of his little island tax shelter. You know whose boot did the kicking?

That's right. Yours truly.

[He spreads his arms and leans his chair back with a creak.] I'd call that all the inauguration I need.

[There's a big old American flag hanging on the wall behind him. Anybody looking close might notice that it's handmade, with slightly uneven stripes and what may be a couple missing stars. When's the last time anybody gave a fuck about Nebraska, anyway?]

Now, it just so happens I'm in a real good mood. So, if you got grievances, ideas, petitions, or you just want to say thank you, now's the time to bring it up. You got a chance to fuckin' have a say in the government.

[The flag is slightly crooked. A little Snubbull climbs up on the desk to straighten it out.]

My door's open.

[Maybe that's how the ice cream monster thing got in.]

Comments

[video]

[rocketralph]

_{[Here's a not-as-serious-as-it-probably-should-be salute from Danky Kang here.]}

Thanks, Mr. President. How's about a national cake day?

[video]

[lieutenantantichrist]

[He will take that salute and consider it serious, despite all evidence to the contrary.

He tilts his head at the camera] What, just a day where everybody eats a shitton of cake?

[video]

[rocketralph]

_{[Ralph points a finger-gun at Blake.]}

Pow. You got it, Prez.

[Video]

[wing_attack]

[... Look, he's not sure that guy was kicked out thanks to Blake, but he knows better than to say anything. Or about the flag.]

What's your next move, then?

[... He may look a little tired, but that's not Blake's issue.]

[Video]

[lieutenantantichrist]

[It was totally his doing and the flag is great.]

Move? I just shot an idiot with a jetpack out of the sky. I don't need to make any moves.

[Video]

[wing_attack]

[He is an artist thank you the flag needs to be fixed.]

Well, yeah. But aren't people in politics always planning their next move?

[video]

[walkersystem]

You shouldn't swear.

_{[Hi, Blake.]}

[video]

[lieutenantantichrist]

Okay, fine, you got a chance to fairly have a say in the government.

Better?

[video]

[walkersystem]

_{[She considers this, but nods.]}

Mm.

Maybe you should get a swear jar for your office or something.

Video

[fairy_tale_trainer]

I thought Americans always had a say in their government. We even have the parliament England.

Is this place a part of America?

Video

[lieutenantantichrist]

Yeah, if you call standing in line for 2 hours in somebody's garage to vote having a say. Now you got a chance to talk to the President face to face. Not a whole lot of people gt to do that back home.

It's America if I say it is. Call it one of those territories. Like Guam, but with more volvano turtles.

Video

[fairy_tale_trainer]

And how to you claim that authority? Come to think of it, you remind me of someone else here....

[video]

[captainash]

Can I request funding for mobile suit development, or is that beyond your current powers? They make a good defense force, you know.

[Is he serious, is he kidding? The world may never know.]

[video]

[lieutenantantichrist]

What's sewing a suit got to do with defense?

[video]

[captainash]

[Sorry, Blake, Ash is going to laugh for a moment.]

There's no sewing involved, I promise. Mobile suits are what we call humanoid machines in my world. Stronger and more versatile than fighter planes, and also much cooler.

[Video]

[bylight]

You're not the only one who took a chunk out of him. I set his damn house on fire to get him out. Well, half the island, really.

[She's really bad at holding back.]

So don't go acting all high and mighty, Mr. Antichrist.

[Video]

[lieutenantantichrist]

That was you?

[Despite his best efforts, Blake looks impressed.]

[Video]

[bylight]

Yes. I had my powers back for that weekend.

[Which also included her teleportation ability. Rather convenient.]

[esthetically]

[There's a slow blink.]

...So you've gained yourself an office? It's... well decorated.

[Is that flag missing a star? He can't quite tell.]

[lieutenantantichrist]

[Blake folds his arms proudly. The Snubbull looks pretty proud too. She sanded!]

That's right. I fixed this old place up single-handed. Even cleaned out all the old hot dogs from the snack bar.

[Does it matter? Come on, nobody ever really needed two Dakotas.]

[esthetically]

[Rei chuckles a little.]

I'm glad you cleared away your potential mold issue. What do you plan on doing with such an office now?

[video]

[fony]

What part of the country are you in charge of?

[Be it on this world or otherwise.]

[video]

[lieutenantantichrist]

Well let's see here. [He ticks things off on his fingers.] If you count from the east side of the big island, plus the little ones offshore, and head inland, and account for the territory on the other side of the ferry, that'd come up to...

[His eyes snap back to the screen.]

All of it.

video

[islandshore]

Wait, you seriously knocked him off the island?

[At first he gives a wide eyed stare, and then he chuckles and sighs.]

Man, makes me wish I could've been there. I kinda ran into some problems a while back...

[Like being constantly looped back into the Ice Path during that weekend, without his PokéGear. Go figure.]

It's weird that he didn't leave a message about it. You'd think he'd throw some huge fit over the network.

video

[lieutenantantichrist]

[modestly] I knocked him out of the sky and hauled him off to jail. ["Jail" meaning "basement full of old arcade games," but it has a lock, so it counts.] Now he's off the radar altogether.

[Blake leaves out the part in the middle where Cobra immediately escaped somehow. That's not important.]

Stole the fun of letting me see him rant and rave. Asshole.

[He cocks an eyebrow.] Yeah? What happened to you?