lieutenantantichrist | [23] Video/Action for Goldenrod

[Listen up. It's time for a message from the President.

You could call it the look of the cat who ate the canary, or you could call it plain smug. That's what's on Blake's face as he reclines behind a big, fancy desk in his headquarters.

(If the big, fancy desk happened to be bought cheap because it has a short leg currently propped up by the local yellow pages, who's to know?)]

So maybe you all noticed that idiot in the welding mask got his ass kicked right out of his little island tax shelter. You know whose boot did the kicking?

That's right. Yours truly.

[He spreads his arms and leans his chair back with a creak.] I'd call that all the inauguration I need.

[There's a big old American flag hanging on the wall behind him. Anybody looking close might notice that it's handmade, with slightly uneven stripes and what may be a couple missing stars. When's the last time anybody gave a fuck about Nebraska, anyway?]

Now, it just so happens I'm in a real good mood. So, if you got grievances, ideas, petitions, or you just want to say thank you, now's the time to bring it up. You got a chance to fuckin' have a say in the government.

[The flag is slightly crooked. A little Snubbull climbs up on the desk to straighten it out.]

My door's open.

[Maybe that's how the ice cream monster thing got in.]

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[Blake's eyes sharpen. People vanish a lot, but coming back isn't so common.]

What happened? What did you see?

[... There's a somewhat frazzled-looking plume of feathers rising behind Tobias in the background, because Regal is well aware that his trainer gets upset whenever he talks about this.]

[The corner of Tobias' mouth twitches slightly, and he has to work hard to not just... hang up. His voice is quiet as he responds.]

What did I see? I saw people die, Blake. I saw people lose their parents. I saw parents lose their children. I saw people reunite with family they had thought dead or as good as dead, but I saw way more people lose their lives. I saw my friends hurt, I saw my friend nearly commit a genocide to save us, and I saw the person... the person I cared most about in the world die in front of me.

I saw a war, Blake. What do you think I saw?

[Blake's knocked silent for a minute]

I...Christ. I meant, did you remember being here, was it still the same as when you left. That kind of thing.

[He shakes his head. He's heard a lot of ugly shit in his time, but that's a different level.]

Jesus, kid. You're better off here.

... Mm.

[He's quiet for a moment, and Regal shifts to put his head on Tobias' lap. He scratches him gently for a moment, before nodding.]

... I didn't remember here when I was there, and it was the same as when I left, yeah. I spent the better part of a year back home. I... sorry. I didn't mean to... get like that.

[Blake lets out a long sigh.] Shit.

[That was all a lot of stuff that should never have come out of the mouth of a kid too young to buy cigarettes, but so is a lot of stuff Blake has heard in his day.]

It was a stupid question.

[His eyes happen to wander off into the middle distance.]

Just makes you curious if time keeps going, you know? If there's anything to go back to.

Forgot about the child soldier part.

... Yeah. I don't know. There's nothing really left for me back there. All there is... is cleaning up, I guess. The others can take care of that. I don't... want to really face a world without her. I don't want to face them without her. Hell, I don't know if I can face Jake again without wanting to hit him, and I don't usually want to hit people.

... But he's the one who gave the order. He was right, but that doesn't make me happy.

[Regal puts his wing around Tobias again, and he lets out a little 'whuff' as he shifts against his feathery pillow.]

I'm pretty sure time doesn't keep going there while we're here. The others would have mentioned it, or the Ellimist would have shown up to be all spooky or something.

[Blake thinks about that for a while, uncharacteristically withdrawn.]

Weird thing, isn't it? Even if the world hasn't changed while you were gone...you wonder if you belong there anymore.

... Yeah. I mean... it's home... but I have a life here where I'm actually considered kind of normal, for once. And I haven't really had that... ever. So... if I had the choice, which I don't, I'd stay here for a while.

[Blake looks to his side, watching Steve straighten the flag with her paws.]

You know, not along ago, I would've thought you were crazy for that.

But not anymore?

[At least he's smiling a tiny bit again.]

Maybe not.

[It's hard to quite find the words to admit.]

Monster Island may be weird as hell, but it's not so bad once you get used to it. If you don't have much going for you back home.

Yeah, exactly. It kind of gets to be normal for you if you don't think about it too much. And it's kind of hard to not think of it as weird when it's everywhere you look.

Hell, by now, if I went home, it'd be weird to have a job again. And to see cats that don't do anything besides sit there being cats.

[The things the kid just told him keep echoing around his head.]

Guess home isn't always that great a thing. Especially if even before you left, everything had already changed.

Yeah. I mean... I miss flying a lot. Flying on a Pokemon's not exactly the same thing as the feeling of freedom you get by climbing into the sky on your own two wings. I spent three years like that, so it's not something I can just forget overnight.

... Call me a coward if you want, but I don't really want to deal with the cleanup of... everything. After I scattered her ashes I was planning on living away from people as long as possible. Coming back here's thrown a wrench in that. ... But everything always changes, whether we want it to or not, right?

Right, your war had something to do with being a bird.

[Blake's just going to accept that for now. Even he can learn when some things aren't worth the arguing.

Something almost contemplative comes across his face.]

Yeah. Shit changes right under your feet.

That doesn't make you a coward.

... At least I've got that going for me.

[Regal nudges at him again. Come on... cheer up. How does he make this better? He just doesn't know.]

Hell. Fighting a war your age...you got a lot more guts than most grown-ass men I know.

... I guess. It's not like I could just sit around and not do anything. I got given the power to fight, so I used it. I'd like to think that most people would do that too, though I know some people wouldn't.

[23] Video/Action for Goldenrod - "ROCK, FLAG, and EAGLE."

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[Video] Animorphs spoilers for anyone lurking.

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