lieutenantantichrist | [23] Video/Action for Goldenrod

[Listen up. It's time for a message from the President.

You could call it the look of the cat who ate the canary, or you could call it plain smug. That's what's on Blake's face as he reclines behind a big, fancy desk in his headquarters.

(If the big, fancy desk happened to be bought cheap because it has a short leg currently propped up by the local yellow pages, who's to know?)]

So maybe you all noticed that idiot in the welding mask got his ass kicked right out of his little island tax shelter. You know whose boot did the kicking?

That's right. Yours truly.

[He spreads his arms and leans his chair back with a creak.] I'd call that all the inauguration I need.

[There's a big old American flag hanging on the wall behind him. Anybody looking close might notice that it's handmade, with slightly uneven stripes and what may be a couple missing stars. When's the last time anybody gave a fuck about Nebraska, anyway?]

Now, it just so happens I'm in a real good mood. So, if you got grievances, ideas, petitions, or you just want to say thank you, now's the time to bring it up. You got a chance to fuckin' have a say in the government.

[The flag is slightly crooked. A little Snubbull climbs up on the desk to straighten it out.]

My door's open.

[Maybe that's how the ice cream monster thing got in.]

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_{[Here's a not-as-serious-as-it-probably-should-be salute from Danky Kang here.]}

Thanks, Mr. President. How's about a national cake day?

[He will take that salute and consider it serious, despite all evidence to the contrary.

He tilts his head at the camera] What, just a day where everybody eats a shitton of cake?

_{[Ralph points a finger-gun at Blake.]}

Pow. You got it, Prez.

[He crosses his arms.] I'm not baking for anybody.

[From her place on top of the desk, Steve waves enthusiastically. She'll bake!

Just, uh, somebody show her how to bake.]

Well, no, I wouldn't expect you to. But there needs to be a law. Anyone caught not enjoying cake should be subjected to severe punishment.

_{[Bossy, the Worst Rat can be seen dozing in the background. She hasn't yet noticed that ole meat mitts is talking to the bearded guy who keeps her bestie.]}

[... Look, he's not sure that guy was kicked out thanks to Blake, but he knows better than to say anything. Or about the flag.]

What's your next move, then?

[... He may look a little tired, but that's not Blake's issue.]

You shouldn't swear.

_{[Hi, Blake.]}

I thought Americans always had a say in their government. We even have the parliament England.

Is this place a part of America?

[It was totally his doing and the flag is great.]

Move? I just shot an idiot with a jetpack out of the sky. I don't need to make any moves.

Okay, fine, you got a chance to fairly have a say in the government.

Better?

Yeah, if you call standing in line for 2 hours in somebody's garage to vote having a say. Now you got a chance to talk to the President face to face. Not a whole lot of people gt to do that back home.

It's America if I say it is. Call it one of those territories. Like Guam, but with more volvano turtles.

[He is an artist thank you the flag needs to be fixed.]

Well, yeah. But aren't people in politics always planning their next move?

_{[She considers this, but nods.]}

Mm.

Maybe you should get a swear jar for your office or something.

Can I request funding for mobile suit development, or is that beyond your current powers? They make a good defense force, you know.

[Is he serious, is he kidding? The world may never know.]

And how to you claim that authority? Come to think of it, you remind me of someone else here....

You're not the only one who took a chunk out of him. I set his damn house on fire to get him out. Well, half the island, really.

[She's really bad at holding back.]

So don't go acting all high and mighty, Mr. Antichrist.

What's sewing a suit got to do with defense?

That was you?

[Despite his best efforts, Blake looks impressed.]

Well, in that case. We'd need a shitload of cake, though. Lots of logistics there. And quality control. I'm not the kind of emperor who gives his populace shitty pastry. That's a one way train to violent revolution.

[He's kidding! Maybe.

Steve peers into the screen and catches the sight of a yellowish back. She snub!s hello. She hasn't seen her friend for quite a while.]

[What's an artist know? Picasso and them give ladies five tits.]

Sure, when they have opposition to worry about. But the only guy giving me trouble just got his ass kicked. And I'm not a politician.

[If he was more aware what laurels were, he'd be resting on them.]

[He draws the animal kind of birds, not the lady kind of birds. :|]

What, so you're just going to rest on your laurels?

[... Shut up he reads a lot, okay?]

Yes. I had my powers back for that weekend.

[Which also included her teleportation ability. Rather convenient.]

[Quit judging him, little girl.]

What, like on one of those old sh-- lousy sitcoms?

[Blake exaggeratedly looks around and spreads his hands.]

If anybody wants to stop me, they can be my guest and try.

[He pauses a moment.]

Yeah? Who?

[Blake leans back and folds his hands behind his head.]

If that means get some appreciation for my hard work, yeah.

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[23] Video/Action for Goldenrod - "ROCK, FLAG, and EAGLE."

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