lieutenantantichrist | [12]Video/Action Olivine-"If I Had to Write an Article About You, It Would Say You're Very Negative"

[ETA: Entries are now closed! Read and vote here!]

[WRITING CONTEST]

[All Blake wanted was a paper.

Sure, they're mostly stupid crap and the headline puns are even worse than at home, but there's something right and normal about heading out to the little newsstand in the morning to pick one up.

He's gotten to know the guy who works there a little. Decent enough guy, almost normal. Chatty, though. Today Blake's not paying much attention as he fishes change out of his pocket and goes uh-huh, yeah, sure, until all of a sudden he hears, "Oh, wow, you will? Thanks! That helps me a lot!"

Ten minutes later, he's gotten a firm handshake, a bunch of paper, and a dawning idea of what he just got himself into.

Shit. Just doing the damn thing is the fastest way to get these people to leave him the hell alone.

That's why, a couple hours later, you might come across Blake or one of his Pokemon going around town stapling up flyers about a little local contest. (He went and made the things, and the guy from the paper went "Oh" and went over them with a black pen real quick.) It will be the most sullen stapling you've ever seen.]

[VIDEO]

Hey. All of you.

[Blake's out on the main street of Olivine, in the shade of a building.]

I got roped into running some kinda contest bullshit. Something about making up stories or other crap. You make shit up, you send it to PO Box 226, they put it in the paper, people vote, you win shit.

[He waves a flyer at the camera.]

Fuckin' voila. So do it. [He perks up a little.] Or don't. Hell, that way I don't have to deal with it.

Here.

If you got any questions, don't fuckin' ask me.

[OOC: The writing contest has officially begun! Entries go here, and more information, including specifically how the special guest prizes work, is here. The Nurse Joy sprite was made by L-mon at DeviantArt. Happy writing!]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Keeping out of trouble?

[Heather's a decent kid, so he can admit this] Honestly, I can't bitch too much about this contest thing. It's something to do around here. All my animals are so tough now they eat the local shit for breakfast.

Hell, you've been here for what, years now? Your monsters must be gnawing through sheet rock and spitting diamonds.

Aw, you know me. I always keep out of trouble. _{[A few hours ago she lifted three Hyper Potions from the local mart without anyone noticing. Not getting caught counts as staying out of trouble, right?]}

... As for my monsters, uh...

_{[She looks over her shoulder at where Cujo is flopped next to her bed. Lying there and absently licking the floor isn't quite gnawing through rock and spitting diamonds, but...]}

... Close enough, I guess. But there's always ways for this place to surprise.

I've heard that one before.

[Do yourself a favor and never let Blake find out about your five-finger discount, unless you want your ears yelled right off your head.

He looks over at the lazy orange dog in the background and snorts a laugh.] Shit, I wouldn't mess with a thing that size even if it couldn't breath fire.

Yeah? I'd figure you've seen everything by now. Hell, today I had to smack a trashbag with a room to stop it gnawing on my foot, and it didn't occur to me til later that that was weird.

_{[She doesn't plan on letting ANYBODY find out about her five-finger discount, much less the one friend she has who's LITERALLY A COP.]}

Yeah.

Like, don't get me wrong, we all totally get desensitized, you know, to an extent.

But as someone who's been here longer than almost ANYONE, I can say that every time I think I've had everything this place can muster thrown at me, it comes up with a curveball.

Damn, you have, haven't you. You must be the local friggin' expert.

If I went back home and ran into sheep that weren't electric or cats that didn't walk on two legs, I might not know how to deal with it anymore.

[He's joking, mostly.]

_{[She grins broadly.]}

I feel you.

I mean, my relationship with dogs back home was bad enough.

Now that I've started to associate them with fire-breathing?

I'll be a wreck.

Hey, that could come in handy. Nobody'd ever give a K9 unit shit again.

Not a dog person, huh? You sound like you get along pretty well with yours here.

[a grimace passes over Blake's face.] Don't tell me you're into cats.

Yeah, Cooj and I got over our differences. But it took a long time.

Never liked dogs. Ever.

_{[But she shrugs, rolling her shoulders.]}

I never exactly had pets back home... so, no opinions on cats, really.

Dogs aren't so bad. Sure, they roll in shit and tear up the garbage, but that's part of the charm. [There's an offended noise from offscreen.] Not you, Steve. I know you take out the trash every Tuesday.

Cats just sit around being assholes and expecting you to be impressed.

No pets at all? You stuck in a crappy apartment or something?

More like a string of crappy apartments.

Dad and I moved around a lot. Our lifestyle wasn't exactly conducive to having animals around.

_{[Plus in addition to her ongoing fear of dogs, Harry hadn't exactly been anxiety-free regarding a lot of animals after all the shit that went down in Silent Hill. That one time she'd gone to a friend's birthday party at age six and they had a bird and she decided she absolutely HAD TO HAVE A BIRD? Yeah, that pleading-session hadn't gone well.]

[Air Screamers are terrible.]}

Single parent scraping by. Old story. Not often that it's the dad who sticks around, though.

[Going around working crappy jobs to keep their heads above water. You saw the type a lot.]

Me, I haven't had a dog since I was a kid. Got the room, but on a cop's hours, I don't got the time. Little bastard would just be left on its own all the time.

Yeah, well, mom was kinda dead, so...

_{[That's hardly the whole truth-- Jodie Mason died a good half-decade before 'Heather' was technically born-- but like hell is Heather going to try and find innocuous non-question-raising ways to explain her absolute atrocity of a backstory to Blake.]}

But yeah.

Dad could've watched a pet, I guess. He always worked from home so hours weren't a problem.

But he had enough to worry about just takin' care of me without adding an animal to the mix, y'know?

Oh. [His eyes fall.] Sorry.

[Way to be tactful, Carter. He should've guessed that, anyway.

He tries shifting the subject over a little.]

Sounds like your dad is a good guy.

[God only knew how he'd've handled trying to look after a kid alone. It was tough enough trying to keep an eye out for Emily, and this was a far kinder world than the real one. Besides, she mostly took care of herself.]

S'okay.

But yeah. He's the best.

I owe everything to him.

_{[Harry Mason is the strongest man in the world. Nothing can ever shake Heather's belief in that. It takes a special kind of fortitude to know that you might be raising an otherworldly creature disguised as a baby and love them unconditionally anyway.]}

He's a lucky guy.

[Blake's silent for a moment, in contemplation.

Then, he can't let that sentiment stand alone.]

Most teenage girls are annoying as shit.

... Wow, Blake. Did you just compliment me? I think that was a compliment.

Yep. A real high one. Heather Mason, you are not annoying as shit.

_[BEAM.]

Well, dang, I'll be puttin' that one on my resume.

You can put me as a reference.

Man, I'm gonna be gettin' all the jobs.

[12]Video/Action Olivine-"If I Had to Write an Article About You, It Would Say You're Very Negative"

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