[6] Action for Violet/Everywhere [Fourth Wall Event]

[lieutenantantichrist]

[Blake is in his apartment minding his own business when there's a flash of light.]

When it fades, nothing seems different for a minute. All's normal and as it should be, everything in its place. After a second, it sinks in. There's something that's been out of place for months, and all of a sudden the feeling of nakedness is gone.]

[He pats his side, and there's the good, reassuring weight of his gun, right where it should be. He takes it out to give it a look over, and it's exactly as he remembers it. He puts it back and feels more himself than he has since he got to this damn place.]

[That's when he notices there's a lot of strange noises outside.]

[Blake opens the door and steps out.]

[He takes a good look at around.]

[He thinks it over.]

Nope.

[He turns around to go back inside.]

Comments

[captainash]

Don't be so sure of that. I flew over a small army of Oddishes a while back, and they were quite generous with their Sleep Powder.

[What he does not mention is that those Oddishes were in Blackthorn. It would be relevant information, certainly, but it probably wouldn't help.]

[lieutenantantichrist]

[Blake groans] Getting roofied by radishes would be the normallest fucking thing to happen today.

How about that drink?

[captainash]

It sounds better by the second. Come on, there has to be a bar or a convenience store out there that still has a cashier at work...

[He takes out one of his pokéballs, and out comes a Staraptor.]

...And as long as it exists, Princess can definitely find it.

[lieutenantantichrist]

[with a hint of desperation as he goes to follow] There'd better be.

[He has to work his way around the walls made by the...giant robot's...legs. He tries to think of them as just walls.]

You just gonna...leave this thing sitting out here? [Biting back a sudden hysterical urge to laugh] You'd better lock it. The neighborhood's gone to hell lately.

[Despite everything, Blake gives Ash a look when he pulls out the pokemon.]

'Princess'?

[captainash]

...You know, that's a good idea. No one should be able to make it work without the proper permissions, but if anyone manages to hack into the weapon systems...

[He climbs back up to do just that, though he still leaves it in the middle of the road. It's not like he has a handy barn or hangar nearby.]

She acts like one. Decided that she was going to be the spoiled member of the team, and resists all of my attempts to change that.

[She even nods proudly at that.]

[lieutenantantichrist]

Weapons. Yeah. Can't have a giant robot that can't wreck a city. [He looks up, and up.] Is that a sword?

[His gun isn't as much of a comfort as it was a minute ago.]

Giant robot and a bratty bird.

Whatever anyplace has to drink, I'm gonna need all of it.

[captainash]

Two beam saber, one DODS lancer, two beam vulcans and two anchor shots. The flash eye doesn't count. Not a particularly powerful suit, but it's usually enough.

[That is apparently news to Princess, because she's now backing away from the Gundam, in Blake's general direction.]

You might have to fight to fight half the region for it, at this point.

[lieutenantantichrist]

No idea what most of that is, but if that's the light model, I don't want to see the tanks.

[You've got the right idea, bird.]

Shit. If this is the kind of competition out there, maybe this place taking weapons away isn't such a bad thing.

[He strikes out toward where there used to be someplace to get a drink, though who the hell knows now.]

[with absolute, fervent honesty] I would.

[captainash]

I admit, between the mobile suits and the people who claim they can set people on fire with their minds, I'd be more than a little worried if I just had a gun or knife on me.

[The apparent lack of worry about the 'tanks' being both deliberate and genuine.

He comes back down once more.]

Lead the way, then. I can throw a few chairs if I have to.

[lieutenantantichrist]

Worried. That's one way to put it.

[shaken down to your goddamn boots that they exist in the first place is another.]

[he winces] There's people who say that, too? Just what we need, something out of Carrie.

[A movie that had come out when Carter was a little kid and scared the shit out of him.]

[He heads toward the nearest bar. At least, where the nearest bar was yesterday.]

Hell, do that and I'll forgive you parking the robot on my front lawn.

[captainash]

At least it works as a warning, just in case they're actually saying the truth.

[He'd rather know someone can set him on fire before that person actually does so, though he'd be even happier if it didn't happen at all.]

...I guess it's in the way, huh. I'll move it once we've had a drink or six and the time to get over them.

[lieutenantantichrist]

Staying the hell away from everybody sounds like a good plan right now. I don't have any robots.

[Blake's goal becomes get through this day sane and don't get set on fire. They both sound a lot more difficult than they did when he got up this morning.]

Don't make me give you a ticket for drunk robot driving.

[At least the bar looks normal enough. Blake orders shots and takes one immediately, because fuck this earth.]

[captainash]

Yet. With the way the day's been going...

[Hell, at this point he's almost expecting the Baronoke to show up.]

Don't worry, I promise I'll be as reasonable as I can be.

[He says, not long before downing a whole beer in practically one go.]

[lieutenantantichrist]

[with deep, deep rue] You're telling me.

[He gestures at the bartender to keep them coming. He's got plenty of money socked away for a rainy day, and this is goddamn pouring.]

[Blake muses into the empty glass] Doesn't make any sense. One of the most down to earth people I've run into on this rock...not even from fucking Earth.

[It's an immense weight of unreality bearing down on him. He finds it's better if he approaches it one glimpse at a time.]

[captainash]

[Ash also gets himself another beer, though at least this one is not drunk nearly as quickly as the first.]

I'm surprised it's not the case more often. Real estate on Earth is horribly expensive. A lot of people can only afford to move there once they're well-established or if they have good connections.

[Which is quite probably not Blake's point, and he knows it.]

[lieutenantantichrist]

[Blake's not slowing down anytime soon. If giant robots from nowhere aren't a call to get shitfaced, he doesn't know what is.]

Yeah, that's the problem, all these neighborhoods getting gentrified. Planets. How're the apartments on Mars?

[captainash]

Horrible. No natural resources or help from earth, shortages of everything, a local illness that kills about 20% of the population, and a madman of a leader who is willing to kill his own people as a test of their worth.

[All that beer must be having an effect, because he doesn't even bother to try and make up an amusing lie. Looks like today is now Horrifying Revelations Day, sorry.]

[lieutenantantichrist]

Huh. So much for Mars then. Hell of a commute anyway.

[He takes another drink.]

The future sounds pretty lousy.

[captainash]

Over sixty years of war would make any time or place sound lousy.

[He thinks about it for a few seconds.]

...And if there's any world out there that would consider that an improvement instead, I don't want to know about it.

[lieutenantantichrist]

[Blake leans on the bar.]

I thought the future was supposed to be all peaceful and enlightened. All that Star Trek crap.

[It's easier to think of this as something abstract. Just shooting the shit. A whole lot easier when you're not standing underneath a damn giant robot.]

[Still, his hand on the glass isn't all that steady.]

Doesn't sound like much to look forward to.

[captainash]

It was good at faking it, for a while. But it turns out that pretending to be enlightened isn't quite good enough.

[He says it quite casually, almost as if he was talking about the weather. But his hand is gripping his glass more tightly, now.]

[lieutenantantichrist]

That's not a big shock. Here comes the new boss, same as the old boss, robot or not.

[He takes another drink. The burn on the way down is a steadying feeling. Something normal.]

So in the future the whole galaxy goes to hell. Anything in particular I should look out for?

[captainash]

[He thinks about it for a few moments,his finger tapping against the bar.]

...If they start building space colonies in your lifetime, don't move there. Don't pick a side, and stay out of their way for a few decades.

[It would probably happen long after his death, but better safe than sorry.]

[lieutenantantichrist]

I'll keep that in mind.

[He leans back on his stool, feeling a warm buffer start to rise between him and the insanity going on.]

Never wanted to go to space anyway. Oh, sure, every kid thinks they want to be an astronaut, but then you find out it's all math and getting stuck in a can. Apollo 13 makes for a good movie, but you wouldn't wanna do it.

[captainash]

Then, once you get past the math and lack of space, it's all arbitrary orders, training drills and spaceport fees. And spaceport bribes, of course.

[He doesn't sound too upset by that last part, funnily enough.]