lieutenantantichrist | [30] [Video] "I Don't Know How Many Years I Got Left. I'm Going to Get Real Weird With It."

[Blake comes up on screen looking contemplative. It's an unusual look on him.]

Fifty. Five-oh. That's when you get the senior discount at Ben and Jerry's. That's when the numbers come out and say, "Hey, you. You are officially counted as old."

You know what the funny thing is? I never thought I'd get there. I would've bet you the farm that somebody with a name like Crowbar or Joey Butterfly would've gotten me first.

Butterfly like the kind of knife. Not the bug. Or maybe butterfly bandages. I don't know, I never asked the guy. Wonder if if somebody capped him yet.

It's been a while now since I've been back. Years. Lots of things can change. I might not recognize the place. Hell, plenty of people wouldn't recognize me.

[He won't let his face get too maudlin. It gives you wrinkles.]

I'd be bringing plenty back. Same as the rest of you, must be. The people you meet, the things you do... You don't spend a couple years bashing trees with faces out of the road without changing some.

Anyway.

Point is, I'm an old man now, and that means I'm wise. I've been through just about every variety of shit you can imagine, and I'm one of the handful of people around here who's ever jumped a car, fixed a leaky faucet, or cleaned out a rain gutter.

[He spreads his hands.]

So any kind of advice you need - all the shit you ever wanted to know about life but were afraid to ask - now's the time. Shoot.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

It's all in the past. It seems to bother others more than it bothers me.

I never had the chance. But I'm sure someone did.

You weren't the only one who had it out for her, huh.

I don't believe in anything as easy as karma, but I gotta admit, there's times when thinking shit'll catch up to somebody sooner or later is the only way you can sleep at night.

She had many, many enemies. Well earned ones.

It's the way of things. There is a price for all things, taken at some point. A balance is maintained.

What was she, some kind of crime boss?

Sounds like you got the shitty end of that balance.

[That pisses Blake off. A lady like her shouldn't have to deal with that shit.]

Something like that. She was exceedingly powerful, had the government and the military in her pocket. She used countless people.

It's all in the past now.