Lt. Carter Blake (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
lieutenantantichrist) wrote2016-04-16 04:41 pm
lieutenantantichrist) wrote2016-04-16 04:41 pm
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[30] [Video] "I Don't Know How Many Years I Got Left. I'm Going to Get Real Weird With It."
[Blake comes up on screen looking contemplative. It's an unusual look on him.]
Fifty. Five-oh. That's when you get the senior discount at Ben and Jerry's. That's when the numbers come out and say, "Hey, you. You are officially counted as old."
You know what the funny thing is? I never thought I'd get there. I would've bet you the farm that somebody with a name like Crowbar or Joey Butterfly would've gotten me first.
Butterfly like the kind of knife. Not the bug. Or maybe butterfly bandages. I don't know, I never asked the guy. Wonder if if somebody capped him yet.
It's been a while now since I've been back. Years. Lots of things can change. I might not recognize the place. Hell, plenty of people wouldn't recognize me.
[He won't let his face get too maudlin. It gives you wrinkles.]
I'd be bringing plenty back. Same as the rest of you, must be. The people you meet, the things you do... You don't spend a couple years bashing trees with faces out of the road without changing some.
Anyway.
Point is, I'm an old man now, and that means I'm wise. I've been through just about every variety of shit you can imagine, and I'm one of the handful of people around here who's ever jumped a car, fixed a leaky faucet, or cleaned out a rain gutter.
[He spreads his hands.]
So any kind of advice you need - all the shit you ever wanted to know about life but were afraid to ask - now's the time. Shoot.
Fifty. Five-oh. That's when you get the senior discount at Ben and Jerry's. That's when the numbers come out and say, "Hey, you. You are officially counted as old."
You know what the funny thing is? I never thought I'd get there. I would've bet you the farm that somebody with a name like Crowbar or Joey Butterfly would've gotten me first.
Butterfly like the kind of knife. Not the bug. Or maybe butterfly bandages. I don't know, I never asked the guy. Wonder if if somebody capped him yet.
It's been a while now since I've been back. Years. Lots of things can change. I might not recognize the place. Hell, plenty of people wouldn't recognize me.
[He won't let his face get too maudlin. It gives you wrinkles.]
I'd be bringing plenty back. Same as the rest of you, must be. The people you meet, the things you do... You don't spend a couple years bashing trees with faces out of the road without changing some.
Anyway.
Point is, I'm an old man now, and that means I'm wise. I've been through just about every variety of shit you can imagine, and I'm one of the handful of people around here who's ever jumped a car, fixed a leaky faucet, or cleaned out a rain gutter.
[He spreads his hands.]
So any kind of advice you need - all the shit you ever wanted to know about life but were afraid to ask - now's the time. Shoot.
[video]
[He sighs.] Hell, it's just good to talk to somebody who's from Earth. Those aren't real common around here.
[He appreciates the compliment to his naming prowess, though he hasn't forgotten this kid called her weird-looking.] You do that, you'll end up with a bunch that're just named what they are. Like calling your dog "Dog."
I call them after whoever comes to mind. Her, it was something about the eyes. But she's still cute as a bug's ear.
[His eyes narrow significantly at the screen.] Isn't she.
[video]
[He says sick in the sense that "sick" means "awesome," not in the sense that "sick" means "gross." Teens.
Still, he does seem to pick up that maaaaaybe disagreeing about this Pokemon's cuteness would be a bad thing.]
Uh, yeah! Totally cute. Without a doubt.
Anyways, I will try and think of better names for any more Pokemons that I catch. There are so many Earth movie actors and references to choose from, so I don't think I will run out of any ideas any time soon. Plus, it's a good way to honor the Earth and stuff! I miss it sometimes.
[video]
[Blake nods firmly, as Steve makes a little aw, shucks motion with her paw.] Damn right she is.
Me too, kid. I've been gone for a long time now. Guess I'm gonna be an old man here. Here's not so bad, but it'd feel wrong to just forget it all. Earth is out there, all the great and shitty things it made, all the great and shitty things that happened there.
It's good to see somebody else who was born there.