lieutenantantichrist | [29] Video/Action for Goldenrod - "I will smack your face off of your face! Do not add a song!"

[A Pidgey flutters to a landing on a drainpipe in Goldenrod. In its beak is a tatter of a weather-bleached campaign poster bearing the left side of Carter Blake's face.

The camera turns to glimpse the Ludicolo carrying it, then follows a man's trudging boots. The eternal background music rises and shifts into a heavy, tramping rhythm underscored by a hiss of maracas.

There's a lady walking her Houndoor. When Blake treads in a puddle that splashes the dog, it growls at him, and Blake growls right back.

That gets attention from passersby on the other side of the street. Blake whirls on them.]

I see that rancid smile
You think that I'm all ruse
Well you can walk a mile
But keep your damn hands off my shoes

[He turns to harangue a new target, oblivious to the dance routine beginning around him.]

See, my job was to beat the chaos sane
You gotta make some messes
You can't be afraid to deal some pain
There's no time for second guesses
If meting out justice is what you wanna do
You gotta put a crack in a tibia or two

[His Snubbull leaps to grab a dancer's hand and gets whirled around in a circle.]

Who're you to say I did it wrong?
Who're you to judge my sins?
You say that you care about what's right and what's fair
What you care about is who wins

You say you want a hero?
They's not what you want to see
They don't turn back, they never crack
Wake up and look at me

[Blake sweeps his arm at the gathered crowd.]

I was doing fine, I was in the clear
Didn't break down, didn't drink
Til I ended up booted over here
With nothing but time to think

[He stomps down the street faster, but their choreography keeps them all close behind him.]

Back home, I had a place to lead
I had my city and I served it
Every time I made some bastard bleed
Hell, I knew that he deserved it
I did everything I could to clean up the filth and vice
I never gave a damn that I didn't do it nice

[His voice gets rapid and louder.]

So you give it all your sweat and blood
So you believe it to the bone
So what if you were wrong when you thought that you were strong
So what if who you fought is everything you're not
So what if you can't claim you're the same as when you came
So what if you're alone?

[Blake's violent gestures cut short. The background music has never seemed so loud as when it suddenly goes silent. He leans against a storefront window, where his dim and dusty reflection lingers.]

[softly]

You say you want a hero?
They's not what you want to see
They don't turn back, they never crack
Wake up and look at me

[His head jerks up to glare at the posed crowd staring at him.]

What?!

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

The first two would still technically result in you singing, you know.

What do you have against it, anyway?

You can't prove that.

Singing is for boy bands and Disney princesses.

I'm pretty sure I have it on video right here.

What, don't you want a crown, Blake?

[Blackmail!]

Shit. What are your demands?

No, I tried the ruler thing. It was more of a pain in the ass than it was worth. Having a bunch of woodland creatures following me around wouldn't help.

I'm tempted to tell you to sing again, but I think your heart would give out from the horror.

[And she likes Blake, even if she's currently teasing him.]

That's a queen. If you were a princess, all you'd have to do is look pretty and be nice to the woodland creature entourage.

Nobody wants to hear that.

[He realizes he's humming under his breath and makes himself stop it.]

Hell, that's even worse. All the squirrels around here shoot lightning from their goddamn eyes.

Don't get me started on the pretty part.

Doesn't that make them better than average squirrels? So long as they're not shooting lightning out at you.

Sure, but that's the part you can't rely on. One of the little bastards once zapped me and stole my peanuts.

Does that ever happen to princesses?

Usually not, I think. At least, I've never read "and then the princess got attacked by a squirrel who stole her salty snack".

That rules that out.

I must be a handsome prince instead.

Don't princes have a noble steed?

I have a horse that's on fire, and a giant bat.

I think the horse is good enough. Now you just need a crown. I think that's sort of a mandatory dress code. It's that or tights.

Oh no. Didn't you see what happened the last time I tried to get a crown? It didn't go real well.

Screw trying to be the king of anything, anyway. It's not worth the hassle.

I'll think about the tights.

Send a picture when you wear them.

Maybe if you ask nice.

Sir, are you asking to be bribed?

Im not a cop or a politician here. So it's not a bribe, just a normal favor.

Fair enough. Still sticking around in Goldenrod, right? I can come and treat you to lunch sometime.

[29] Video/Action for Goldenrod - "I will smack your face off of your face! Do not add a song!"

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