[29] Video/Action for Goldenrod - "I will smack your face off of your face! Do not add a song!"

[lieutenantantichrist]

[A Pidgey flutters to a landing on a drainpipe in Goldenrod. In its beak is a tatter of a weather-bleached campaign poster bearing the left side of Carter Blake's face.

The camera turns to glimpse the Ludicolo carrying it, then follows a man's trudging boots. The eternal background music rises and shifts into a heavy, tramping rhythm underscored by a hiss of maracas.

There's a lady walking her Houndoor. When Blake treads in a puddle that splashes the dog, it growls at him, and Blake growls right back.

That gets attention from passersby on the other side of the street. Blake whirls on them.]

I see that rancid smile
You think that I'm all ruse
Well you can walk a mile
But keep your damn hands off my shoes

[He turns to harangue a new target, oblivious to the dance routine beginning around him.]

See, my job was to beat the chaos sane
You gotta make some messes
You can't be afraid to deal some pain
There's no time for second guesses
If meting out justice is what you wanna do
You gotta put a crack in a tibia or two

[His Snubbull leaps to grab a dancer's hand and gets whirled around in a circle.]

Who're you to say I did it wrong?
Who're you to judge my sins?
You say that you care about what's right and what's fair
What you care about is who wins

You say you want a hero?
They's not what you want to see
They don't turn back, they never crack
Wake up and look at me

[Blake sweeps his arm at the gathered crowd.]

I was doing fine, I was in the clear
Didn't break down, didn't drink
Til I ended up booted over here
With nothing but time to think

[He stomps down the street faster, but their choreography keeps them all close behind him.]

Back home, I had a place to lead
I had my city and I served it
Every time I made some bastard bleed
Hell, I knew that he deserved it
I did everything I could to clean up the filth and vice
I never gave a damn that I didn't do it nice

[His voice gets rapid and louder.]

So you give it all your sweat and blood
So you believe it to the bone
So what if you were wrong when you thought that you were strong
So what if who you fought is everything you're not
So what if you can't claim you're the same as when you came
So what if you're alone?

[Blake's violent gestures cut short. The background music has never seemed so loud as when it suddenly goes silent. He leans against a storefront window, where his dim and dusty reflection lingers.]

[softly]

You say you want a hero?
They's not what you want to see
They don't turn back, they never crack
Wake up and look at me

[His head jerks up to glare at the posed crowd staring at him.]

What?!

Comments

[text]

[captainash]

You're affected by today's musical madness too? Great.

[Ash's choice of text today is extremely deliberate. Not just to hide his reaction to Blake's song, either.]

I'd suggest going home and locking yourself in before the music starts again. For your own peace of mind.

[text]

[lieutenantantichrist]

[Blake's reply is rapid.]

What? I wasn't singing.

[text]

[captainash]

You were rhyming while following a specific yet complex rhythm that was directed by music, then. Is that really any better?

[text]

[lieutenantantichrist]

There's always music! It's not my fault.

[text]

[captainash]

I know that, believe me. Doesn't change the fact that a lot of us have been singing our way through grocery runs. Do you really want to risk ending up in the middle of a duet with a cashier, complaining about the price of an onion?

[text]

[lieutenantantichrist]

[Blake's caught between distress and relief.]

It's not just me? Christ, I thought I had some kind of disease.

[text]

[captainash]

If it's a disease, it's contagious and widespread. I've seen it around Fuchsia. I thought my Psychic-types were playing a prank at first, but they have no idea what's going on.

Video

[tearsofademon]

[This Clefairy is going to applaud you. Good singing, sir.]

Video

[lieutenantantichrist]

[The pink blob's stubby arms make little poff sounds at him.]

What're you clapping at?

Re: Video

[tearsofademon]

Clef~

[You, obviously~ she chirps. Hang on, she's gonna root around for a notebook and pen.]

Video

[lieutenantantichrist]

[Blake squints at the little thing.]

Whatever you want, little puffball blob
Better hurry it up; some of us've got a job-

[He scowls and shakes his head hard.] Fuck.

Re: Video

[tearsofademon]

[:D

Well, she'll hold up a sign once she's done writing.]

You sing really well!

[This is such a smiley puffball.]

Video

[lieutenantantichrist]

[He leans close and hisses at the screen]

No I don't! I wasn't singing! You were singing!

[video]

[rocketralph]

Yikes.

_{[He has a few more things to say, but that's the first and foremost.]}

[video]

[lieutenantantichrist]

What do you want? I wasn't doing anything!

[Blake is slightly out of breath from holding the notes.]

[video]

[rocketralph]

Are you sure you aren't a Badguy?

_{[One word. Capitol B.]}

[video]

[lieutenantantichrist]

I'm not the bad guy, goddammit!

[Blake snaps at him in song]
Buddy, for all the wrong I've done and legs broke in my time
Don't you dare stand over there and call my life a crime

[He bites his tongue hard and forces his voice back to normal]

Why the hell does that keep happening?!

[video]

[rocketralph]

_{[He cringes as Blake belts at him.]}

I dunno, pal, that sounds an awful lot like a villain song to me. The maracas aren't exactly intimidating though...

I wish I could help ya. It's not just you. I had somebody confess their feelings for me in song this morning and you know, hearing somebody singing about breaking bones is kind of a nice change of pace.

[video]

[lieutenantantichrist]

I didn't ask for any maracas!

[But he's getting them. The Ludicolo is dedicated to his task, and his task is percussion.

He scowls. His voice drops to a mutter.] And I'm not a villain.

[Then his brows knit.] You what? You got a girlfriend singing at you?

text;

[ladywithnovoice]

Look on the bright side: at least you're not a bad singer.

text;

[lieutenantantichrist]

[the reply is rapid]

i DON'T SInG

text;

[ladywithnovoice]

So what would you describe it besides a "temporary loss of sense"?

text;

[lieutenantantichrist]

Drugging. Mass hallucination. One of those little psychic animals picking a real weird way to be an asshole.

text;

[ladywithnovoice]

The first two would still technically result in you singing, you know.

What do you have against it, anyway?

text;

[lieutenantantichrist]

You can't prove that.

Singing is for boy bands and Disney princesses.