Lt. Carter Blake (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
lieutenantantichrist) wrote2014-02-24 12:18 am
lieutenantantichrist) wrote2014-02-24 12:18 am
[14] [video] WRITING CONTEST ENTRIES - "This you should vote me. I leave power. Good."
VOTING NOW CLOSED AND WRITERS REVEALED! Results momentarily.
[The feed flickers to life centered on Blake, who's leaning back in his chair at a desk covered in papers. He looks tired but satisfied. He waves a handful of papers at the camera.]
Look what I got here. More than I expected. Ended up with a couple shoes, a brick, and an envelope full of glitter - real funny, asshole - but some honest-to-god entries, too. Lucky number thirteen.
Well, one of them might be an arson threat. It's on paper, it's going in. Read 'em and vote.
[[ooc: The writing contest is complete, and I love every single one of you lunatics. We got awesome stuff and I'm thrilled with how it turned out. Votes are OOC and one per player. Everyone is welcome to vote. It closes at
1 - by
awesmazingsWhy does Butterfree have poison wings? ...What is a Butterfree, anyway? Is it a bug? A bird? I've never seen one, so all I can think of is a bird and/or bug with butter for wings. Or butter on it's wings. ...Maybe it's a fish, though? Fish don't have wings, but they do have fin-things and those are kindof like wings. Hmm. I'm sorry, I've only been here for four days so I don't really know what a Butterfree looks like! ..But this is fun so I'm gonna write about it without checking.
So, if Butterfree has poison wings, then that must mean its butterwings aren't really butter at all. Maybe they look like butter to trick other Pokemon but it really just looks like butter and it's actually poison instead. I think that would make sense. They're also probably poison to keep it protected from dangerous predators and stuff. (Like other Pokemon that want to eat its butterwings.)
But maybe it doesn't have butter for wings at all! It's probably more likely if it is actually a bug, or something. I dunno why a bird would have poison wings though. Maybe for the same reason? And if it's a fish then I think the poison would get washed off in the water, so maybe it's not a fish. Yeah, it's probably a bug or a bird. Wait what else has wings. ...Bats? WOAH maybe it's a bat! Yeah, I can totally see a bat being poisonous. That's so cool, I hope I can actually see one sometime!
But yeah that's why I think Butterfree (a bug/bird/fish???/bat) has poison wings.
2 - by
pipers_son[Ed. - this one's in fancy-ass loopy writing that Blake had to get somebody from the paper to decipher into fuckin' normal-person words.]
How Mime Jr. Was Born
Once upon a time, there lived a little girl named Mimi.
Now, Mimi did not have a lot, not even a mother or father as she was a child in an orphanage. However, she was happy as she could be and took great joy in spreading that joy to the other children. Unlike food, of which they were too poor to have enough of, or comfortable beds, joy could be given for no cost at all save for some effort. However, Mimi was still just a child and could not divine the thoughts of others. She could not make everyone happy for all that she tried.
One day, a circus visited the town. They invited the orphanage to a show, for they were a kindhearted lot and wished to show goodwill to this town they were strangers to. This excited them all greatly, and Mimi most of all. Every child gasped at each act, from the daring yet beautiful animal tamer to the pair of elegant acrobats who flew from the air without a care. At one point, Mimi did tear her eyes away from the amazing sights and observed with great delight that the rest of the children were all smiling. What she had struggled so hard to do, the circus accomplished with great ease.
It got the girl to thinking. She thought so much that she eventually found her body as restless as her mind, even when the children had returned to the orphanage and they were all put to bed. She slipped out and wandered about in the night near the edge of the forest the orphanage was besides. Now Mimi simply meant to get all her pent up energy out. However, she soon saw something shining in the trees and her curiosity bested her. Venturing into the forest just a bit, she saw a fairy ring. It was amply named, for daintily sitting atop the little mushroom, there were fairies.
Now these were the good sort, fortunately for dear Mimi, and they were quite happy to have a visitor upon their little meeting. "Hello, little miss!" they sang to Mimi who was staring upon them with wide eyes. "At this time all good little girls should be asleep soundly within their beds. What has you wandering about such an hour?"
"Well, you see, good fairies, I want to make many people happy but I afraid I do not have any idea how to do this," Mimi confessed. "Would you have any idea of what to do since you have so much magic in you? I cannot think of anything more wise than a fairy."
Such a wish was very noble indeed, so the fairies decided to discuss it amongst themselves. Finally, one fairy spoke up. "We could make it so that you could tell what people were feeling, and how to make them happy. However, what would you give us in turn?" After all, they were still fairies and thus needed something proper for any wish they would grant.
Mimi held out her empty hands. "I am but a poor orphan. There is not a coin to my name. I own very little, and what little is mine would never be suitable for what you could give me. I have only myself, good fairies."
"Oh, but little miss, that is suitable enough!" the fairies said happily. "We could change you different, but then you would be able to make people happy and know their thoughts and emotions!"
This sounded a bit too good to be true. Still, despite whatever reservations may have rested in her heart, Mimi gave a nod of her head. She wanted something very great indeed, so it was only proper that she took a great risk. The fairies danced about her, using their magic fairy dust, and Mimi soon found herself growing smaller and smaller...
Before she knew it, Mimi was a tiny little clown Pokemon! Surprised, she wandered back to the orphanage and found she could know every emotion from the other children like they were her very own. With this new power, she quickly went to work at doing what she could from tending to emotions and battling for winnings. However, she soon found that just helping the orphanage wasn't enough. She wanted to help many more people.
So she went and joined the circus, wanting to see many more people and places. The Ringleader happily took her in, making his new clown the star of the show so she could reach as many emotions as possible.
And that's how the first Mime Jr. came to be.
3 - by
nostabbingWhy Ho-Oh Flies All Over The World Instead Of Being In Ecruteak City All The Time
So what's the deal with Ho-Oh, anyway, you know? I mean, okay, so there's this story in Ecruteak City that like...Ho-Oh used to live there on top of this big tower? And then one day the other tower in the city caught fire somehow, which doesn't make a whole lot of sense because it was the Brass Tower, right? And even though brass does have a relatively low melting point at nine hundred to about nine-fifty degrees Celsius, it's pretty sketchy that a fire would start there because brass doesn't spark when you strike it. So it was probably arson. Or maybe a bomb or something. Why would you want to melt down a tower made of brass, anyway? If it was gold or something, that'd make sense, but brass is pretty boring as metals go. Just copper and zinc. Not really that special, folks.
But anyway, some bad guy arsoned the tower and the whole thing burned down, and Ho-Oh was on the other tower and it flew away. But I guess three Pokémon died in the fire? So then Ho-Oh comes back and brings them back to life after the fire and that's where the things they call the Legendary Beasts come from.
I think that's a pretty rotten thing for Ho-Oh to do. Like, why did it fly away when the tower was burning down if there were
So you know what I think? I think Ho-Oh figured out that it screwed up and everybody's wrong about it trying to find a pure-hearted trainer or whatever. I bet it's really out there looking for other people who're in trouble so it can do the right thing this time. I bet it's helping people because that's what you're supposed to do when people are scared and in trouble and need your help. And maybe it found some friends who are helping it, too, and now it's flying around looking out for trouble and stopping arsonists and making bad guys sorry they ever decided to hurt innocent people. Or Pokémon. Yeah.
So that's why you won't see it. Unless you're in trouble, then maybe you will.
Or maybe if you're one of those bad guys who sets fire to buildings with people inside, you'll get to see it too. Up close and personal.
And then we'll see how you like it.
4 - by
cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaWhy Tangela Hides Its Face
Long long ago, before anyone can remember, Tangela roamed free with its face exposed, without a care in the world, just wandering around the world doing whatever idiotic thing it is Tangelas do in their free time.
This continued for far too long until one day, Tangela somehow ran afoul of an extremely powerful, extremely ruthless organization. How exactly is completely irrelevant. It just did. And in a stupid, misguided attempt to spare itself the organization's wrath, it covered itself, and convinced other Tangelas to cover themselves in vines so that no one would be able to discern which Tangela was which.
Unfortunately for Tangela, the organization doesn't particularly care about finding the real one, and for daring to support it, one day all Tangela will pay for this idiot's mistake. Just like anyone else who crosses that organization or it's leader!
5 by
strongestoftheturksI've never really known what loneliness is until I arrived here.
I'm not the most popular guy around. That goes went to my best friend. He could go on for hours on end without stopping for a breath if he was in the mood. Funny thing is that for all the lame ass jokes he cracked at the bar he really knew how to make people laugh. He's witty. You wouldn't think it if you saw him, but there wasn't a man with a sharper tongue and a mind to go with it in the whole city. Maybe the lame jokes was part of his wit. If I asked him, he'd probably say something like, "All part of my brilliant plan, yo!". And then I'd probably say, "So the angry gangsters are part of them too?". That'd be the cue for the both of us to get the hell out of there or risk our kidneys selling on the black market the next day. I should've been mad that time but like I said. He's a likeable guy, even when you're running for your lives.
Well, that's the kind of guy my buddy is. And then there's me. I'd be the quiet guy sitting at the chair next to his. Sometimes I'd roll my eyes at a badly executed pun. Maybe even buy your sorry ass a drink because some things are best left unsaid and un-punned. I don't say much. Never had to. It's not to say that I'm anti-social but I just don't have much to bring to the table.
It was never a problem back home. I always had my buddy and the rest of the team. It didn't matter to them that I kept to myself; they'd just find some way to draw me out of my corner and do something dumb. And I'd go along without any objections because the whole point was being with them even if it was to do something that'd get me doing double duty the next day. Even when shit hit the roof...damn. Thinking back on those times I'm not sure how we got through that. We didn't have a choice; it was really do or die but at that time we nearly lost everything. We lost our pride, our integrity, our values and our selves...but we would never lose each other. I think that was the best part of being in the team because I knew that even someone as fucked up as me was never alone.
I've watched three people from home come and go. Each time someone leaves they take a part of me with them back. I don't think I've got enough heart left to split up. If I take a knife to it it might just shatter into tiny pieces and I'm not sure I can patch it together again.
I spent Valentine's Day without a date. I'm used to that. Or at least, I thought I was. But I always had someone who could share my pain with me, and it's cheesy to say this but misery's easier to bear with when it's shared. Not this time. I spent it alone. By myself. Drunk and emotional and writing this miserable piece of crap to get my thoughts out because if I don't I think I'm going to go crazy.
I didn't enter this competition to win. I wrote this to send a message to all of you. If I win anything I'll laugh my head off, but don't bother looking for me because like hell I'll claim any credit for being nothing short of a blubbering embarrassment. I might even burn this note right here and now so no one sees it. But if I don't then congrats note, somehow you survived dooms day. You lucky mother fucky fucker. But on the really astronomically small chance I get votes, give the prize to the next guy. He deserves it. Or she. Whichever it is.
I hope the me in my world laughs and smiles more at my partner's lame jokes. I hope he shows how much he loves the crazy bastards that make up his team, because only the biggest idiots would do our jobs. And I hope that he knows to always appreciate what he has back there and what I don't have here.
Friends. And family.
6 - by
lieutenantantichristThere's no fucking fairy tale here, it's one of those evolution things. Maybe it tried biting some other monsters way back at the beginning, but something changed, and it went off somewhere else. Instead of fighting over the real food with every other little monster that wants it, this beaver thing decides to bite trees. Turns out, weird enough, biting trees isn't so bad once you get used to it. They start thinking maybe that's a just fine way to live. They adapt just like you're supposed to. They spend a couple hundred years doing that, and eventually their teeth are all blocky and blunt, so that's all they're good for. Which is fine when all you have to deal with are trees. Those don't bite back.
Then it comes down to fighting, and all of a sudden wood-biting doesn't cut it anymore. They let themselves get soft and useless, and now when the chips are down they're good for nothing. If one of them cornered you in a dark alley at midnight, you'd laugh your ass off. They can't get anything done. Nobody respects a fucking Bidoof.
7 -
lullabytesOnce upon a time and long ago before pokeballs and civilization there was a young Slowpoke. While he was kind and gentle, he was also very, very slow in the way of his people...he lived life at a pace most people didn't. But he was happy, because he lived with his sister by the water, and no two siblings had ever gotten along half as well.
On the day that Slowpoke would become an adult, however, something terrible occurred. His sister was taken from him, and though he saw it happening, he had no way to stop it...for he moved as slowly as he ever did, and by the time he protested, she was already gone from him.
He began to walk in the direction she had been taken, even though he could do nothing so quickly as her captor. What other choice did he have? If only he could run to her, if only he could have acted more quickly...
As he walked, he began to cry. And suddenly before him there was a Clefairy.
"Why are you crying, Slowpoke?" She asked.
After a pause so long it seemed he would not speak Slowpoke replied, "My sister has been taken from me, and I am not fast enough to save her. I wish I could run to her side, but I cannot." Each word came slowly, drawn out even through his distress.
"Your wish brought me here," Clefairy told him. "And I can tell you it can be granted...so long as you follow this path through the woods, and this path alone."
Until she said those words, Slowpoke had not seen the path. To him, it seemed a great magic. And that was because it was. Until Clefairy had waved her wand, that level had been blocked from view, impossible to see.
"Thank you," Slowpoke said, but by the time his slow mouth finished framing the words, the Clefairy was gone. And so he continued down the path he could now see, hoping there would be no random encounters he could not overcome.
He came upon first in the woods a Hitmonchan and a Psyduck. The Hitmonchan was punching a tree while the Psyduck looked on, and Hitmonchan's knuckles were scarred and bloody. These two stood to the side of the path, and it was an obvious sidequest...
So the Slowpoke went to them and asked of Psyduck in his slow way, "What is wrong? You look upset."
Psyduck was indeed upset. "My friend continues with this even though it hurts him, and there is nothing I can do to dissuade him. It has given me quite a headache..."
Slowpoke knew that friends could do that to a person. Worrying about them could make your head and heart both hurt...although that was something that was warm and real and good, too. So Slowpoke said, "Perhaps there is something we can do to stop him hurting himself," although he did not know what that could be.
They talked for a long while, Slowpoke's sister getting further and further away...and Slowpoke had to go and fight monsters until they dropped the correct item, which he returned to give the Psyduck: two red punching gloves. The Psyduck was overjoyed, although he still looked pained. "I think this headache is permanent, but if you ever need us, please call our names."
And so the Slowpoke continued down the path.
Next he came across a Bidoof trapped in a net, and a Butterfree fluttering above him. "Oh, Slowpoke," the Butterfree said. "Please, can you help me free my friend from this net?" For neither of them could untangle the knotes, and Bidoof's teeth were far too short to cut the rope.
Working slowly and carefully, Slowpoke managed to free the Bidoof, and the Butterfree circled above him, sparkling dust falling from her wings from her joy. "Oh, thank you! If ever you need us, please call our names."
And so the Slowpoke continued down the path, really getting into the swing of this sidequest thing.
Next he came upon a Kriketune and a Tangela. They were speaking quietly, and both looked quite sad. When Slopoke asked them what the matter was, Kriketune said, "My friend worries that she looks silly...but I do not know what I can do to help her."
Looking at them, Slowpoke suggested, "Perhaps you could wear a silly moustache."
Both the Kriketune and the Tangela were overjoyed, and once Slowpoke level grinded and got a silly moustache accessory item drop, he returned to give it to them. Kriketune said, "If ever we can help you, please call our names."
And so the Slowpoke continued down the path, fully expecting more sidequests...although these seemed to be more the main quest, so perhaps that was incorrect to say.
Next he came upon a Muk and a Snorlax. The Muk was watching his sleeping friend with a scowl on his face, and so Slowpoke approached and asked, "What is it that troubles you?" Because he was the protagonist and the protagonist always asks such things.
"I wish to know what it is my friend dreams of," Muk said. "But he will not wake."
So Slowpoke went and fought enemies until he found a sleep heal item, and used it on Snorlax. When Snorlax awoke, Slowpoke asked, "What did you dream of?"
"I dreamt Muk took a bath," Snorlax answered. "And became clean."
Muk decided he would definitely take a bath, and said to Slowpoke, "If ever you need us, please call our names."
And so the Slowpoke continued down the path. Next it came upon a Chatot perched upon a Nosepass. "Is there some problem with which I can help you?" The Slowpoke asked.
"No, we're good," said the Chatot. "But if ever you need our help, feel free to call our names. We like to help out."
It was the easy sidequest that should have been nearer the beginning of the path, but they had gotten lost and gone to the end instead. Nosepass had a really bad sense of direction, but those two were such good friends, they hardly minded.
So the Slowpoke shrugged and continued down the path. Next he came across a Sudowoodo standing in the middle of his path. Slowpoke looked around and then asked, "Do you not have a friend with you?"
And Sudowoodo said, "Why would you ask me that?"
And Slowpoke said, "Because everyone else I have come upon in this path has come in sets of twos."
"Well, I don't." said the Sudowoodo. "Not that I want to come in a set of two anyway. So why don't you just leave?"
"But you are blocking my path," said the Slowpoke.
"Why do you have to go down this path, anyway?" said the Sudowoodo. "There are other perfectly good paths that aren't this path. Go walk down one of them."
This was starting to seem like it would be a boss battle, so the Slowpoke optimized his stats, and then told the Sudowoodo about his sister, and how he had to save her.
The Sudowoodo looked sad, and finally said, "Beyond me is the end of the path. I have stood guard over it because only danger lies ahead, but I saw your sister and her captor go this way, to the north. If you are willing to accept the danger, you may pass."
So Slowpoke continued down the path to the end, and then stepped off into the world.
First he came upon a large brick wall, which seemed impossible and odd but was there all the same. "Psyduck, Hitmonchan!"
And Hitmonchan and Psyduck arrived, and Hitmonchan punched the wall down and Psyduck psychically threw the remains out of the way. Thanking them, Slowpoke continued on.
He found himself trapped in a net and surrounded by vicious Scyther, and called out, "Bidoof! Butterfree!"
The two came, but did not know what to do...until their fears and hopes crystallized, and Butterfree learned Poison Powder and Bidoof learned Bite. Butterfree poisoned the Scyther and Bidoof bit through the rope, his teeth growing long in order to help his friend.
Thanking them, Slowpoke continued on. But he came upon a large and impassable abyss, and called out, "Tangela! Kriketune!" And so Tangela used Vine Whip to swing him across the abyss, and Kriketune sand an uplifting tune.
Thanking them, SLowpoke continued on. next, however, he came upon an impassable pile of apples...so he called out, "Snorlax! Muk!" And those two friends came and ate away the obstacle.
Knowing there would be still one more obstacle, Slowpoke continued on. Only there was no obstacle he could see...in fact, he had no idea where he was. Hopelessly, Slowpoke called out, "Nosepass! Chatot!"
And while those two came, when they heard his woes, they were uncertain. "We wish we could help you, but we just don't have the skills. Do you have anyone else you can call?" Chatot asked.
"No, I called everyone else already," Slowpoke said.
Nosepass began to cry. And then the Clefairy appeared and asked, "Why are you crying, Nosepass?"
"I wish I could help our friend," Nosepass said. "But I'm terrible with directions."
"Then let your nose always point North, so you can help Slowpoke." Clefairy waved her wand, and it was so.
"Can you help me learn to keep time?" Chatot asked, although that wasn't really relevant to the matter at hand.
"Sure," Clefairy said, and she waved her wand again, before disappearing.
The Slowpoke hadn't been able to get out a word while she was there, but it hardly mattered. Nosepass pointed the way towards his sister, and so Slowpoke continued on.
Finally Slowpoke came upon his sister, cowering before a strange goopy looking creature he had never seen before. "Return my sister to me," Slowpoke said.
"Not until you guess my name," the thing said. And so a boss battle began. Slowpoke, fighting very hard, couldn't do it...until suddenly his hand gripped the King's Rock his sister had given him that morning, and he evolved after losing the first half of the boss battle. And then, as a Slowking, he won!
"Okay, okay, I don't have a name," the thing said, and burst into tears.
"Then we will give you a name," said the Slowpoke. "You look like a Bloober to me."
And the Bloober agreed, and apologized for the trouble. And greeting his sister, Slowpoke turned back around to go home with her, happy that things had worked out for the best.
And then the end credits scrolled across the screen.
8 - by
foolishwrenonce upon a time there was a psyduck
aw look at that lil guy
anyway one day his mom (that's his mom in the pic in case u all are ignorant weenies who don't know what psyduck evolves into) asked him to leave the family lilly pad and go down the forest path to the village and pick up some groceries
what kind of groceries???
hell if i know, i'm not a duck (SPOILER WARNING THIS ISN'T AUTOBIOGRAPHICAL)
duck stuff i guess, maybe bread or something they go crazy for that shit
ANYWAY back to the story
he was a good kid who always ate his veggies so of course he went. but this is a fable and you know shit gets real when your mom tells you to walk through the woods to fetch bread so READ ON
while i'm at it, let's be real: the only time ducks are fast is when they're flying. and have u LOOKED at a psyduck???? those losers couldn't fly if you strapped them to a rocket. so when i say that psyduck 'went', i mean he waddled slowly down the road and it was already gettin dark before he even got there
naturally he came to a fork in the road
and like
i'm sorry but psyducks are dumb as heck
so, i mean:
he had no friggin clue which way to go
starting to panic, he looked around in hopes that someone would appear and tell his stupid feathery butt where to go
that was when a shadow fell across him
he turned around and saw A FIGURE standing in the path behind him, gently backlit by the spooky eerie rays of the sunset behind it
now readers, if u are anything like me, u would nope out of that situation IMMEDIATELY
but we already established that psyducks have like, one brain cell so u should already know that this story is like one of those original Grimm fairy tales where nothing is ok and everything hurts
"WOW MISTER I DIDNT SEE U THERE" said psyduck (i decided that pokemon can talk in this story, because why the heck not)
the thing didn't answer but it took a step forward with its boots, which were red like roses and also FRESHLY-SPILLED BLOOD
psyduck smiled like a moron and tried again because he thought maybe the thing was shy. "YOU LOOK LIKE A PERFECTLY FRIENDLY NON-CREEPY PERSON, SAY CAN YOU TELL ME THE WAY TO THE STORE"
the thing moved closer
and kept moving closer until it was REALLY CLOSE
psyduck's brain cell decided that this had been a really bad idea
"actually never mind, i can find the way to the store myself" he said, but it was too late
it had been too late the moment he laid eyes on it
the thing
TANGELA
psyduck isn't holding his head because he has a headache-- he holds it because he is futilely trying to block out the unspeakable life-altering horrors he saw when he stared into the abyss and found it staring back at him
but he can hold his head all he wants
nothing will ever erase the visions in his mind
THE END P.S. TANGELA IS HORRIFYING
9 - by
solas_ionLong before Johto was Johto as we knew it, there lived powers beyond human comprehension. Rock Pokemon the size of mountains, enormous Dragon-types that flew through the skies. From barren and empty lands Gyarados flooded the oceans, Charizards scorched the deserts, and Venusaurs grew the forests.
But the most powerful creature of all was the Phantom Queen Murkrow--a great, terrible bird whose wingspan spread from one end of the sky to the other, and whose screeching call was said to scare away the sun every night. Her evil was unparalleled, and the sight of her was said to herald death for all that laid eyes on her form.
There stood opposite her a favored hero of the world; a simple Lucario blessed by the patron of light, long-winged and sharp-clawed Pidgeot. With all his might this Lucario fought against the omens of death which the Phantom Queen foretold, until the day he fell in combat himself. Even though he had become a defender of the people against the Phantom Queen's darkness, even he was unable to truly evade death.
However, the rest of the world remembered the Lucario's existence and refusal to give up even in the face of inevitability; instead of fearing death and oblivion, they learned to accept it as a natural end and part of life. The hero's courage to defy the Phantom Queen gave others courage of their own that led her to retreat and leave the heralding of death to her lesser familiars.
The moral of the story, kids, is don't trust Murkrows, and death is bull@!$#.
10 - by
konpeitoqueenThe Butterfree dip
Their wings in poison so that
Its trainer finds ways
To avoid paying
Rent for the lazy roommate
Who eats anything.
11 - by
voidedrogueLemme tell you a
Once upon a time, there was rain. It fell first in tiny drips, no bigger than a needle. Then in droplets as fat as your mom. These fricking hugeass droplets were happy droplets, until they went sploosh against the ground. Like glass shattering on cement, like a snowball to your face. Sploosh.
The droplets cried out "no! no! we don't want to brutally die before we can ever live!"
A wizard, hair gray and robes violet trimmed in sweetass gold, came upon this rain. In the midst of his wizardry he heard these cries. Taking pity upon them, he asked, "Droplets of rain so wet, is it true you wish to live?"
The droplets replied together, voices as one, "Yes, Mr Wizardman! We wish to live!"
"Do you deserve to live?"
"Yes, Mr Wizardman! We'll be so happy if we live!"
"Then I will grant you life," said the wizard. He waved his super fancy staff in the air, and as the droplets fell from the sky they became not not water but instead pokémon. Thousands fell to the ground, newly created life, slimy and gross yet hella cute. "But remember your roots, little blobs, for you come from water and cannot live without it." The wizard fooshed away, vanishing like candy in front of a two-year-old.
The rain droplets would be called bloobers, as they globbed across the two regions in all their slimy grandier, taking us all by storm. For the little beings that begged for life, they were granted it. A new life. A fresh start. Freedom. A home.
Fin.
12 - by
enjoymyatelierI know the intent behind all these is to write some sort of trite Just So story, and I was considering it... however, when I saw one of the topics, I had to wonder --- why would anyone assume that cleaning up Muk ought to be the topic of some children's fable? Do people simply not know how to deal with all that horrible sludge?
If that's really the case, then I have to pity the people of this world --- particularly given that I'm sure some people own Muk willingly, as opposed to having to use one because it introduces some variety to their lineup. Perhaps they're careful to only train ones with some concept of personal space. I wouldn't know. Admittedly, it isn't particularly easy to deal with, but it's not impossible.
Actually, the solution is surprisingly simple. Almost disappointingly so, really. I would have honestly expected it to be far more complicated, given how much I experimented with trying to get stains out of clothes, get sludge out of my hair, and just get rid of that horrible stuff...
But, anyway, the solution is to start with dishwashing liquid and finish with vinegar mixed with lemon juice.
That's really it.
It's one of the few things here that seems to have an answer, and it's disappointingly mundane.
But, really, isn't that what we've all come to expect from this place?
13 - by
tearsofademonThe Legend of the Hero of Virtue
There was once a land with three countries. The eastern country was ruled by the wise King Zoroark, and the western country was ruled by the brilliant Queen Mienshao, and their countries were good. But the northern kingdom was ruled by the gentle King Mr. Mime and his cute daughter, Princess Clefairy, and their kingdom was the best of them all. The kingdoms never fought, and everyone had everything they needed, so everyone was happy.
But one day, disaster struck! While he was meeting his subjects, King Mr. Mime was suddenly captured by the evil Yamask Witch! Princess Clefairy tried to stop her, but the Yamask Witch was too fast and she spirited her father away before she could do anything! So Princess Clefairy visited the other two kingdoms for help, because as long as King Mr. Mime was gone, everyone would be sad.
First she visited the kingdom to the west and asked Queen Mienshao for help. "Hmm," said the queen. "It wouldn't be good if that pervert wasn't found quickly. I'll give you my sword, so you can defeat the witch." And Princess Clefairy thanked her and went on her way.
She visited the kingdom to the east next and asked King Zoroark for help as well. "How terrible," said the king. "The work will pile up if he isn't found soon. I'll give you my shield, to protect you from the witch's magic." And Princess Clefairy thanked him and went on her way.
Armed with a sword and shield, Princess Clefairy found her way to the evil Yamask Witch's home and snuck in easily. Inside, she found King Mr. Mime in chains, being forced to cook in the witch's kitchen! It was really horrible!
Princess Clefairy ran forward with the sword King Zoroark had given her and destroyed the chains, freeing King Mr. Mime from their clutches. "Quickly, follow me!" she told him as she took his hand and pulled him toward where she'd come in.
"Ahh, where did you come from...?" King Mr. Mime asked, still confused by the witch's spell, but he made to follow the princess anyway.
However, they were stopped in their path by the Yamask Witch herself! "How dare you take what's mine!" the witch screeched. "Be gone!" And she used Will-o-Wisp to send balls of fire at Princess Clefairy. Thinking quickly, though, the princess hid behind the shield Queen Mienshao had given her, which deflected the fiery balls!
"He's not yours!" Princess Clefairy shouted once the fire subsided, running forward to strike with the sword. "And if you take him, everyone will be sad!" And with a quick strike, she hit the Yamask Witch, defeating her entirely.
The spell broke, and the Yamask Witch fell to the ground in tears. "Sniff... Now I'll never have a friend," she said.
His mind now clear, however, King Mr. Mime, in his immense kindness, held out his hand to the Yamask Witch. "Is that what this was all about? If you wanted company, you could have asked. You can come live in our castle, if you want."
"Really?" asked the Yamsk Witch, and King Mr. Mime nodded with a smile. Princess Clefairy wasn't so sure it was a good idea, but her father had never made a foolish decision, so if he thought it a good idea, she wasn't going to argue.
And so King Mr. Mime and Princess Clefairy returned to their land with the Yamask Witch, who lived with them in their kitchen from then on, making them delicious cakes and other good things. When they heard the news, Queen Mienshao and King Zoroark even came, and they had a big feast to celebrate King Mr. Mime's return. And with that, peace, prosperity, and happiness returned to the land.
The End.
Poll #15008 Writing Contest Voting
Open to: Access List, detailed results viewable to: Just the Poll Creator, participants: 16
Which story was best?
1
0 (0.0%)
2
4 (25.0%)
3
0 (0.0%)
4
0 (0.0%)
5
1 (6.2%)
6
0 (0.0%)
7
6 (37.5%)
8
5 (31.2%)
9
0 (0.0%)
10
0 (0.0%)
11
0 (0.0%)
12
0 (0.0%)
13
0 (0.0%)
Which story was second best?
1
1 (6.2%)
2
4 (25.0%)
3
0 (0.0%)
4
0 (0.0%)
5
1 (6.2%)
6
1 (6.2%)
7
3 (18.8%)
8
3 (18.8%)
9
0 (0.0%)
10
0 (0.0%)
11
1 (6.2%)
12
0 (0.0%)
13
2 (12.5%)
Which story was third best?
1
0 (0.0%)
2
4 (25.0%)
3
3 (18.8%)
4
1 (6.2%)
5
0 (0.0%)
6
0 (0.0%)
7
1 (6.2%)
8
3 (18.8%)
9
0 (0.0%)
10
0 (0.0%)
11
1 (6.2%)
12
0 (0.0%)
13
3 (18.8%)
Which story was funniest?
1
0 (0.0%)
2
0 (0.0%)
3
0 (0.0%)
4
1 (6.2%)
5
0 (0.0%)
6
1 (6.2%)
7
0 (0.0%)
8
10 (62.5%)
9
0 (0.0%)
10
3 (18.8%)
11
0 (0.0%)
12
1 (6.2%)
13
0 (0.0%)
Which story was most likely to be true?
1
0 (0.0%)
2
1 (6.2%)
3
2 (12.5%)
4
0 (0.0%)
5
2 (12.5%)
6
4 (25.0%)
7
0 (0.0%)
8
0 (0.0%)
9
0 (0.0%)
10
1 (6.2%)
11
1 (6.2%)
12
5 (31.2%)
13
0 (0.0%)
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...Do they even get funding?
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