lieutenantantichrist | [10] Video/Action for Goldenrod - "Because You're Crackheads, Children."

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[10] Video/Action for Goldenrod - "Because You're Crackheads, Children."

[ACTION]

[Something streaks across the skies above Goldenrod. It jags back and forth, gaining and dropping altitude in sudden swoops. It nearly smacks into the top of a building but lurches to the side just in time.]

[Anybody with very good eyesight might be able to make out that it's a Crobat, with Blake clinging desperately to its back.]

[Anybody with very good hearing might be able to make out]

fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKfuckfuckfuck...

[He's hanging on for his life as four wings flap around him and his stomach does a great impression of a bunch of furious weasels in a burlap bag. In a rare second of flying straight, as they pass over a street, Blake spots some blond hair.]

[It can't be...no, those damn stupid glasses are unmistakable.]

[Blake's eyes light up with determination.]

[If there's one thing that can cut through terror for life and limb, it's the prospect of petty revenge.]

Down![He shoves at the bat's shoulder, making it lurch. Ray Liotta is still getting the hang of flying with the extra weight and noise.] Down, goddammit!

[The bat swoops almost to the ground, giving Blake a chance to see the storefronts woosh by and really understand how fucking fast they are going, but he has something he need to do.]

[He yells] Hey asshole!

[Then he goes to punch him in the head.]

[VIDEO]

[The feed comes up on Blake sitting in Goldenrod's bar. He's a little out of breath. There's a few scratches on his face to go with the leaves on his shirt and the twigs in his hair.]

[He orders a shot of whiskey for him and one for the Crobat that's balanced on two stools next to him.]

[Blake drinks his in a gulp, and lets his hand fall heavily to the bar.]

[He looks to the Gear. His eyes are showing a little too much white and a touch of a leftover manic gleam. His lips twitch up.]

So I just flew on a bat.

What's the dumbest thing you've ever done?

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[You wanna dance, officer? Okay, let's dance. Cool as a cucumber, Yusuke responds:]

With the way you handled Union Cave? Nah, I figured you'd be done with bats. I guess even old bastards like you are full of surprises, though, huh.

[He shrugs and goes on.]

Still, I gotta say it doesn't seem like you handled him very well this time around, either. You look like shit.

[Blake has two left feet and they're both meant for shoving a boot up somebody's ass.]

[He smirks.]

I remember you telling me bats are piss easy to handle. You still think so?

["Old bastard" is something he takes pride in.]

[He turns from smirk to scowl.] My neck's not broke and I got where I wanted to be. I'd like to see you do better.

[Now there's a face that looks like it could use a good punching. Yusuke tries not to make it too obvious that seeing Blake smirk at him like that kind of pisses him off just on general principle, but despite his efforts, he can't quite stop his eyes from narrowing or his jaw from stiffening, both of which ought to tip Blake off to the fact that he's managed to hit a nerve. However, just as it looks like he's going to give him a full-on scowl...

... he grins at him instead, with such ferocity that it might as well be a snarl. Yeah, he's annoyed, and the temptation to start flinging insults is still there, but so is the knowledge that he might still be able to get the upper hand here. Therefore, his response to Blake's question is not "I think you should go fuck yourself", but...]

Chyeah. Of course. It's not like it's rocket science.

[There it is, Blake, that snotty tone of voice you've surely missed being on the receiving end of since the last time you guys spoke! And for his next act, he's going to give you a big ol' scoff, because... because he's a little shit, okay. News at eleven.]

Buddy, I've flown on the back of a friggin' dinosaur more times'n I can count just within the past couple of months. Compared to that, steering a bat'd be no sweat.

[... says he, with more confidence than he probably has any right to have. Yeah, Yusuke, who cares that that the first time you flew on said friggin' dinosaur, you A) had Botan the Backseat Flyer to help you out and B) almost lost your breakfast the first time you guys hit a bit of turbulence? That totally wouldn't present any problems if you were zipping around on a smaller, most likely much more unwieldy animal! Definitely not.

(To be fair, Yusuke doesn't get nearly as airsick now as he did during his first time flying. That doesn't change the fact that he may or may not've had to conceal how green in the face he was getting as he was picking Kuwabara up from Cherrygrove a couple weeks ago, though. Who would've thought that flying on the back of a prehistoric creature and actually being in danger of falling and cracking his skull open would elicit different feelings than the ones he felt during those three weeks he spent floating several miles above his city because he was already friggin' dead and therefore not only a little more, er, buoyant than he normally was, but also not at any risk of getting any worse? Sure, he wasn't at risk of dying here, either - nobody was, apparently - but... still. Still. It's hard to keep that in mind when you're actually up in the air. Urgh.)]

[Why is it only that special kind of obnoxious teenagers who can make that chyeah sound?]

[Damn it, he could at least give Blake the satisfaction of admitting that he pulled the damn good trick.]

A dinosaur? [Blake makes an obnoxious old man hunh right back.] You're full of shit, kid. I can smell it from here.

[Hey, look what he can do! Drink.]

[It's a good thing Yusuke hasn't told him anything about being dead. Blake has had plenty of hearing "I'm dead" from people who are obviously there to goddamn talk about it, and he's getting sick of nobody else seeing the contradiction.]

Ray here's got four wings, see? That's a lot to deal with. If you tried, you'd slip right off from all the hair grease.

[Yusuke will ANGRILY and RELUCTANTLY admit that it was a pretty good idea once Blake stops talking smack about his hair. Until then, though, he's gonna get a little pissy about being accused of 1) lying and 2) not being able to ride a bat, because WHOA, BLAKE, way to go gunning for his adolescent male ego there! Seriously, he's making it really difficult for Yusuke to play it cool over here.]

If I slipped off, it'd be because he's been drinking and can't fly straight. [There's a pause, and then Yusuke squints a little into the screen.] What the hell're you givin' him, anyway? Beer?

[Yusuke can't tell what alcohol is what unless he's real up close and personal with it. Thanks, mom. But hey, at least the distraction provided by his impromptu attempt to figure what Ray's got there seems to have calmed him down a little, if only by that much. He still looks pretty, ah, incensed, though. Whoops.]

Whatever. Anyway, I'm not fucking with you about the dinosaur, old man. I'm serious. You know those pterodactyl things that were flying around all those weeks ago? I've got one of those, and I'm sayin' that Ray Leo or whatever'd be probably be a hell of a lot easier to fly on. The only shit you're smelling is the shit caught in your beard.

[Oh yeah, WHAT NOW, SHITBEARD. What. Now.]

Edited 2013-10-07 14:22 (UTC)

[So, never, then. Or until he gets a less stupid haircut.]

[You wanna talk adolescent male egos, Blake's has survived hale and hearty well into his forties.]

Damn right I am. He's done flying for today, and he earned it.

[He scoffs] Nobody's be dumb enough to try to ride one of those. [and reconsiders] Except maybe the idiot who was trying to wrestle one.

[He strokes his beard.] Yeah, I know you're jealous. Don't worry, puberty's gotta come around one of these days.

[He pauses and looks disturbed. Something is bothering him.]

Wait a minute. Are you telling me you don't know Ray Liotta?

You've never seen fucking Goodfellas?

[As amused and bizarrely flattered as Yusuke is by Blake more or less telling him that he doesn't think he's stupid enough to fly around on a dinosaur, he's a little too shameless to allow him to continue living under that misconception, hence why he's so ready to refute that statement by casually informing him that he'd peddled a bike down a busy highway just hours before arriving in Johto. He's stopped short by the mention of a dinosaur-wrestling idiot, though, and actually looks sort of surprised by it. Wait a sec, is he talking about...?

Huh. Well, Jin did put that whole thing on the network. Still, Yusuke figures he ought to make sure they're talking about the same dude before he goes claiming that this person's his friend. Better safe than accidentally affiliated with some stranger.]

Was this idiot a tall red-headed guy with a stupid accent?

[Surely there isn't more than one dude around here who's wrestled a dinosaur, right? 'cause if there is, Yusuke's got some serious networking to do. He and Jin could use more people to do crazy shit with.

As for that "puberty" comment, Yusuke doesn't know what it is about it that grates on him more: the implication that he isn't already going through puberty, or how it serves as a harsh reminder that he can't grow a mustache yet (not that he'd want to, mind you - it'd just be nice to at least have the option). Either way, he's got a pretty sharp retort prepared, but once again, Blake cuts him off before he even gets a chance to open his mouth. Yusuke scowls. Dammit, and it was gonna be such a good one, too! Well, whatever. He'll just have to save it for the next time Blake gives him crap about his inability to grow facial hair. He's got a feeling he hasn't heard the end of it just yet.]

Uhhh, no. We had this conversation last time, didn't we? About how I don't watch a lot of American movies? Don't tell me you're goin' senile on me.

[The brat gives him a look like that sounds familiar. Blake's surprised at the immediate, accurate description.]

Yeah. Some dumbass who sounds like a leprechaun. He a friend of yours?

[He's a fellow reckless pain in the ass, so Blake's assuming yes.]

[Blake, on the other hand, was one of those kids who had a mustache by the time he was twelve. He smirks at the look on the brat's face.]

[Oh, shit, he had, hadn't he? He's gotta start keeping a list of the things he's given the kid crap for so he doesn't repeat any.]

Doesn't matter, it's fuckin' Goodfellas, kid! Never heard of Ray Liotta, that's like not knowing Marlon Brando. Christ, what kinda barren cultural wasteland is China?

[Yep, that's Jin all right! Yusuke nods, his lip curling. Now that he knows for sure that Blake's talking about Jin, the name-calling kind of bothers him (on Blake's end, of course, not his own - look, it's one thing if you make fun of your friend, it's another if someone else does it). He doesn't chew Blake out for it just yet, though - instead, he tells him:]

Yeah, from home. [And then, a bit wryly, he adds:] He's fine, by the way. Wasn't even in the hospital for very long.

[He doesn't suppose Blake cares, but eh, whatever. Yusuke doesn't much care if Blake doesn't care. It's like Inception, except instead of dreams within dreams, it's, uh, zero shits within zero shits. ... yeah.

... just roll with it, okay?

Meanwhile, Blake's display of cultural sensitivity there was truly astonishing. So astonishing, in fact, that it earns him one hell of a glare. If looks could kill, Blake would probably be dead.]

Hey, good question! Why don't you try asking somebody who's actually from China, y'friggin' moron? Seriously, the way dumbasses like you run their mouth without actually knowin' what they're talking about, it's no wonder people always say Americans are stupid as hell.

[First Vietnamese, now Chinese. Which nationality/ethnicity are you gonna mistake him for next, Blake? >:(]

Edited 2013-10-10 01:37 (UTC)

[You don't want your friends getting called names, stop making friends with spastic leprechauns.]

He even went to the hospital? He was fine enough to brag about wrestling the thing.

[He hadn't looked near as hurt as anybody who got in a fight with a pterodactyl should have been.]

[Blake has gotten some champion stinkeyes in his time. ~~Yusuke's is up there with the best.~~]

[He throws his hands up] Fine, Asia, what's the difference? How the hell am I supposed to know?

[Blake would be surprised by what great friends spastic leprechauns make. Don't knock it 'til you try it, old man.]

Yeah, well, he's a pretty tough guy. Wrestling a dinosaur'd probably be easy for him under normal circumstances.

[Hell, if he still had his windy powers, he probably could've just blown that thing out of the air and knocked it out without even having to touch it. Or something like that, anyway; Yusuke's never seen Jin in action outside of their fight, so he's not actually sure how he'd deal with a giant monster. He just knows it'd be awesome.

... also, Yusuke isn't even gonna touch that "what's the difference?" question. He will, however, answer the second one, albeit in a rather impatient tone of voice. Hope you like being spoken to as if you were a total moron, Blake.]

I dunno, maybe by asking people where they're from instead of just guessing and making an ass out of yourself? It's not that hard.

[Hell has frozen over. Yusuke Urameshi is chewing somebody else out for being insensitive. Don't worry, he feels just as weird about it as you do.]

You serious? That skinny little twerp? He couldn't weigh much more'n a hundred pounds.

[Blake has no idea how he hadn't died fighting that thing. What kinda idiot takes these things on barehanded?]

[He throws his hands up.] All right, fine. Where are you from?

[... geez, if Blake thinks Jin's a "skinny little twerp", Yusuke doesn't even wanna know what he thinks of him. It's probably better not to ask. So he doesn't! Instead, he responds to Blake's appraisal of Jin's physical appearance with a little "tch" and says:]

Doesn't matter. He's not human, so if this'd been home, that Aerodactyl woulda been caught in ten seconds flat. Trust me, I've fought him before, so I know what he's capable of.

[Yusuke's not unaware of the fact that he's never properly broached the topic of demons and world-saving and shit with Blake, but that doesn't really stop him from (sort of) doing so now. He might be comfortable with keeping his Spirit Detective stuff to himself unless somehow prompted to do otherwise, but he's not nearly as comfortable with the idea of lying about or covering up who - or what - Jin is, especially when Jin himself is pretty forthcoming with that information. Call it a weird expression of loyalty to his buddy if you want, but either way, bam. It's out there. Blake is free to make of it what he will.

As for where he's from...]

Japan. Y'know, that country out in the ocean? The one that's a little farther to the right on the map than China is? That's where I'm from. Better keep it straight from now on, old man.

[Or else he'll bite your head off again. >:E]

Edited 2013-10-18 10:29 (UTC)

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[10] Video/Action for Goldenrod - "Because You're Crackheads, Children."

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