lieutenantantichrist | [9] Video/Action for near Goldenrod

[The video comes up on Blake on the outskirts of Route 35. There's a beat-up Chikorita sitting on a fencepost, letting out small distressed noises and looking nauseous. Blake's got the Gear set up on the next post over, and he's spraying the pokemon with an Antidote with one hand while he holds the guidebook open with the other. He's muttering to himself and squinting at the book in the fading light as the sun sets.]

Fire does extra damage to grass, that makes sense, grass burns easy. Grass does extra to ground, plants...grow from the ground. Electric does less damage to grass-- doesn't lightning hit trees a lot? Ahh, whatever. Here it is.

[He drops the empty Antidote bottle and jabs his finger at the book.]

Poison does double to plants. How's that supposed to make sense? You can't cyanide somebody's geraniums!

[He throws his hands up. Behind him, the Chikorita gets up and shakes itself off.]

And the rest of these- bugs beat psychics? Ice beats birds? Fighting beats rocks? How do the rest of you remember all this crap?

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[Blake makes a face. You can't seriously be telling him this.]

[scornfully, as he shakes his head] Captain fucking America.

Are you trying to summon him or something? Because he doesn't work like that, believe me, I know.

[Blake jabs his finger at the screen. This is not something you should ever have to say.]

Comic books aren't real, and some guy you know is not Captain fucking America, no matter how familiar he looks.

[No matter how much it would explain.]

Of course comic books are real, they're in book stores.

It's not a familiar thing, he really is Captain America.

{He sighs and looks past the gear talking to himself/the powers that be]

Which would be a whole lot easier to prove if I at least had JARVIS with me, thank you very much.

Not what I meant, asshole.

No real person is Captain fucking America! It's made up! Kids' stuff, like goddamn unicorns!

I don't care what you have a jar of, it's not helping!

Uh, JARVIS is the name of my computer.

And okay, sure, what do I need to do to prove it, give the man a discus to bounce off some walls? He didn't exactly come here with his shield.

Computers don't need names, they're just goddamn machines!

Uh-uh. No way. That is the bona fide quality bullshit I am not even going to consider.

[The disturbed look on his face is evidence he's lying.]

All computers have names, it's how they're identified on the network.... But that's besides the point, mine has a name because it's also an artificial intelligence.

Well you can not consider it all you want, it's still going to be true anyway. Believe me, even I've had my moments of wishing he wasn't real.

{Mostly in connection with his father.]

Besides, why would I even lie about something like that? Of all the things I could lie about, that's not really one of them.

[Blake takes a long, steadying breath.]

Grass is green, politicians are idiots, and there is no such fucking thing as Captain America!

[With that, he slams the phone down.]

[Well, you can't do that with these. But he pushes the END button real hard.]

[He keeps looking at it for a minute. Of course there's no such thing. Comic book heroes aren't real. He knows that.]

[One hundred percent.]

This is Captain America... Also me.

[For the record, Pep took this.]

[No it isn't and shut up.]

[Blake growls and jams his phone in his pocket.]

[9] Video/Action for near Goldenrod - "Who are we doing it versus?"

[Video]

[Video]

[Video]

[Video]

[Video]

[Video]

[Video]

[Video]

[Video]

[Picture message]

[Picture message]