lieutenantantichrist | [6] Action for Violet/Everywhere [Fourth Wall Event]

[6] Action for Violet/Everywhere [Fourth Wall Event]

[Blake is in his apartment minding his own business when there's a flash of light.]

When it fades, nothing seems different for a minute. All's normal and as it should be, everything in its place. After a second, it sinks in. There's something that's been out of place for months, and all of a sudden the feeling of nakedness is gone.]

[He pats his side, and there's the good, reassuring weight of his gun, right where it should be. He takes it out to give it a look over, and it's exactly as he remembers it. He puts it back and feels more himself than he has since he got to this damn place.]

[That's when he notices there's a lot of strange noises outside.]

[Blake opens the door and steps out.]

[He takes a good look at around.]

[He thinks it over.]

Nope.

[He turns around to go back inside.]

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...You know, that's a good idea. No one should be able to make it work without the proper permissions, but if anyone manages to hack into the weapon systems...

[He climbs back up to do just that, though he still leaves it in the middle of the road. It's not like he has a handy barn or hangar nearby.]

She acts like one. Decided that she was going to be the spoiled member of the team, and resists all of my attempts to change that.

[She even nods proudly at that.]

[He quickly realized where he was staring.] My Sharingan.

[Jack turns his head so the snowball only hits his hair, but he's already laughing as he shakes the pieces free. He points at Blake with the end of his staff, the wind and snow already picking up again to make a proper storm, complete with plenty of drifts for ammunition.]

Consider that your one free shot.

Come on, wind!

[The wind picks him up and he disappears past the top of Blake's house. If Blake goes back inside, that'll be the end of it, but otherwise... well, he might want to keep an eye out. Jack doesn't really play fair.]

[ Oh, Blake, don't try bringing sex into the picture where the ponies are concerned, they'll just get confused. ]

Not quite sure what you mean by that, but we're not exactly rare in Equestria. Why, we're about a third of the population, I'd expect! The pony population, anyway. I'm not counting diamond dogs, zebras, and griffons in the mix.

[It still counts.] Gotcha.

[The wind and snow is picking up. It was summer a minute ago, but a way too damn hot summer, so it's kind of a relief. Blake just zips up the part of his mind that's having a conniption right now]

Get back here! I'm just getting started!

[He ignores exactly how Jack vanished and grabs some snow to make some ammunition]

I mean...[how to phrase this so it would make sense to a purple-haired horse oh god what the fuck is he doing here, don't think about that] ...people who are, you know. Innocent.

What I'm saying is you're neighing up the wrong tree here.

[His expression slips a little. Calm is something he's holding onto very tenuously] Yeah. Can't leave those out.

[distantly, half paying attention to Apollo, distracted by the unnerving sensation that the things around him aren't really what he's always thought of as things]

Yeah, that's how they make houses and shit. Can't just wait around on luck, you'd never get enough.

Weapons. Yeah. Can't have a giant robot that can't wreck a city. [He looks up, and up.] Is that a sword?

[His gun isn't as much of a comfort as it was a minute ago.]

Giant robot and a bratty bird.

Whatever anyplace has to drink, I'm gonna need all of it.

Two beam saber, one DODS lancer, two beam vulcans and two anchor shots. The flash eye doesn't count. Not a particularly powerful suit, but it's usually enough.

[That is apparently news to Princess, because she's now backing away from the Gundam, in Blake's general direction.]

You might have to fight to fight half the region for it, at this point.

[Yeah, so was Jack. The snowball that hits Blake in the back this time is a completely normal, not at all magical snowball full of the best kind of slush.

Jack himself is now perched above the door to the building and grinning like a devil.]

I forgot how much slower adults are, too.

[thunk. Blake whirls around.]

[Get ready for his comeback. It is magnificently crafted.]

Oh yeah?

[He's got a couple balls ready, so let's see if the little punk's faster than this]

What the hell is a sharing hand and why is it in your eye?!

The kid's not dead, I talked to him the other day!

[Blake's capacity for crazy bullshit is being exceeded real hard right now and his head is creaking under the strain]

[Grumbling.]

They probably waste parts of the trees too, just like they do with animals.

[Well there goes his good mood.]

Yeah, not everybody uses every part of the damn buffalo, it's a tragedy.

[It doesn't come out quite as sharply sarcastic as it should. Blake can still feel leaves.]

Nobody else knows about all this. There's no such thing as tree psychics back in my world. They're just things. Shouldn't be able to think. No brains in wood.

No idea what most of that is, but if that's the light model, I don't want to see the tanks.

[You've got the right idea, bird.]

Shit. If this is the kind of competition out there, maybe this place taking weapons away isn't such a bad thing.

[He strikes out toward where there used to be someplace to get a drink, though who the hell knows now.]

[with absolute, fervent honesty] I would.

I admit, between the mobile suits and the people who claim they can set people on fire with their minds, I'd be more than a little worried if I just had a gun or knife on me.

[The apparent lack of worry about the 'tanks' being both deliberate and genuine.

He comes back down once more.]

Lead the way, then. I can throw a few chairs if I have to.

Sharingan, and it's a bloodline thing. [He huffed a breath.]

How's he doing?

If you're going to waste the life that you take you shouldn't take it to begin with.

Just because they don't know it doesn't make it okay.

I guess that you don't need a brain to think.

[He doesn't make it a habit to share ninja secrets, you're safe.]

A chance to change your perspective, I guess.

[SHRUG. He was pretty strangely calm all things considered.]

And... if any of the ninja warped into your living room or, ah, messed up anything, I apologize.

Gravity?

[He cocks his head curiously.]

I ain't never been doin' what anybody tells me before, and I'm not startin' now.

[the remark about plastic surgery, though, seems to offend him.]

Now wait jes'a minute, fella, there's nothin' about me what isn't natural! I'm not one o' those types to get all slicey-dicey jes' ta get some power boost'r somethin! I got too many debts already, I don't need another reaper t'pay when the time's comin' round.

I'll be cleanin' it up, though, sure as anything, jes' gimme a sec.

[And then he squares himself, takes a deep breath in and out, and the wind picks up around him, howling fiercely around the room and picking up all the broken glass and feathers and some of the smaller pieces of furniture. And then he sends it all flying out the broken window and into the street outside.

Why, do you have unicorns at home? ... And involved with the court system? I'm no attorney...

But goodness, I'm not here to pass judgement on you for crimes! I don't care in the least about any of that. I just wanted to show you that I'm REAL!

[Good. He doesn't want ninja secrets. In fact, outside of movies with Bruce Lee, he doesn't want ninjas.]

What's wrong with where my perspective was before? It was doing fine there.

Not your fault, unless you're Ninja President or something.

No. We don't. They're not a real thing, just stories for little girls, and weird cartoons with that band that did A Horse With No Name.

[Blake may be rambling just a little.]

I mean, they're supposed to hang around children and shit. Nice people.

[Blake's one of the good guys, but he knows he's nowhere approaching nice.]

[He rocks back on his heels, trying to keep his balance.]

Horses have attorneys?

Well, maybe we should be visiting those who are less nice and teach them some lessons! [ She smiles. ] Though I find you remarkably more agreeable when confronted with the truth.

And oh yes, of course we do. How do you think we get by when one of us gets in a spot of legal trouble? [ This makes perfect sense, Blake. What about this does not make perfect sense, hmm? ]

Worried. That's one way to put it.

[shaken down to your goddamn boots that they exist in the first place is another.]

[he winces] There's people who say that, too? Just what we need, something out of Carrie.

[A movie that had come out when Carter was a little kid and scared the shit out of him.]

[He heads toward the nearest bar. At least, where the nearest bar was yesterday.]

Hell, do that and I'll forgive you parking the robot on my front lawn.

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[6] Action for Violet/Everywhere [Fourth Wall Event]

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