lieutenantantichrist | [22] [Video/Action for Goldenrod] - "I Know a Lot About the Law and Various Other Lawyerings"

[Though Blake is standing in front of a blank wall, the height of the roof and his distance from the camera hints that he's in a large building. He clears his throat and begins his address.]

Listen up, all of you. I'll make this quick.

[He clasps his hands behind his back and starts moving. He can never stay still while giving a speech like this.]

United States of Monster Island, it is time to get your shit together.

[As he walks, the Croagunk-held Gear revolves to track him, revealing that the wall has a large patch in a different color, and that something further back and to his right appears to be bowling lanes. A few feathers are scattered on the floor.]

First off, as you can see here, we got us a headquarters here in Goldenrod now. You got a problem, you come here.

The second thing we have is a problem.

See, there's an asshole out there trying to commit acts of terrorism and take shit over, and I for one am not planning on letting him.

[He shoots a hard look at the camera. A feather drifts against his foot.]

If you're over eighteen, consider yourself drafted. Man or woman, it doesn't matter when it's a magic animal doing the work. Stand ready to get called up.

[He notices something stuck to him. He scowls, grabs the feather off his pant leg, and brandishes it at the camera.]

In the meantime, somebody clean up these goddamn things.

I've been doing some calling around. It turns out a Center in the Sevii Islands went incommunicado at just about that time that moron was swaggering around bragging about taking one over.

Your assignment is to take your flying and swimming monsters and scout out the area. I'll be sending my bat, too. We find this idiot, then we make him regret who he screwed with.

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[You'd have to be some kind of crazy-ass fancy space politician to do that.

You could always throw the egg. Those bastards don't break.

Blake looks satisfied to see somebody taking orders.] Good. We have a lot of work to do before we set out.

[Phoenix is going to show up with his wimpy level 15 or so Pokemon all ':^D' and Blake will be so disappointed.

But hey, it's still a turnout, right?

Phoenix decides to power off the feed and head on over. He takes his time, though, his Aipom and Shinx gallivanting about him as he goes.]

[Phoenix will find a place full of busy Pokemon. Steve the Snubbull is sweeping the filthy floors, while a Munchlax paints over the pictures of bowling pins on the walls and a Kingler uses its claws to delicately pick the glass out of a broken window and deposit it in a garbage can. A Mightyena has found the shoe racks and is having the gnawy, slobbery time of his life.

Blake, for his part, is by the wall, knocking on the cover of a vent with a broom handle.] You little bastard, I know you're in there! Come out here and fight like a man!

[Echoing, angry hooting is his answer.

Steve is the first to notice Phoenix. She runs up to say hello. Isn't this all exciting?]

[Well, it sure does seem like Blake has things under control. Phoenix knocks on the wall beside the door hanging ajar, lets himself inside with his Pokemon following behind.] Quite the fixer upper you have here, huh? [Comments Phoenix, wincing to see the place still covered in so much dust and debris. Brings back memories of whenever he has to clean the office...

Prin heads right on over to Steve, tilts her head and giggles, tail swishing behind her. Hello, new friend! Wanna go CAUSE SOME MAYHEM?

Simba wants no part in it. The Luxio has a pack strapped around him, carrying a Pokemon egg securely at the Pokemon's side.]

[Blake turns around at the sound of a human voice. There's a derisive hoot and the echoey sound of scampering paws receding in the vent.]

So you showed up. [He gets straight to the point.] You ready to work?

[He shoots his eye around the half-repaired place.] Not carpentry. I mean setting up a justice system. You may be some rat lawyer, but you've got something to start with.

[Steve is just excited to meet new friends. Does she ever!

But she's curious about the egg strapped to the Luxio. She looks over at him and makes an inquisitive Bull?]

I'm a man of my word, Lt. What do you think I am, a lawyer? [Grinning at his own little joke, and nods] What do you need me to do?

[Simba fluffs up at the Snubbull looking his way, tenses a little. He may be just a LITTLE overprotective of that egg, it looks like. Prin has no issue bounding around the entire place, though, eager to meet ALL the new friends.]

Yeah, yeah. [Blake points the broom handle at him.] You better not be billing me hours for this.

[But he's looking to Blake for orders, and Blake likes that. Makes the world seem just a little bit more right.]

Here, I'll give you a choice. [He watches the Pokemon running around, getting chased by his Mightyena.] Bang out the rules for a court and a functional jury system, or clear out all these old bowling shoes.

[Phoenix holds up his hands in mock surrender.] Hey, I won't object if you want to offer me a generous donation. You would be the first.

[He considers these options, watches Prin bound around after the Mightyena and Simba hanging out stoicly by one of the windows.] I don't like working when there's cleaning to do, so I guess I'll go for the shoes. Hey, Princess, want to help me out?

[The Aipom skids to a halt and perks with interest, giggles and hops right over to Phoenix. ABSOLUTELY!]

Know yourself out.

[Blake leaves him to it and gets on with sweeping the old crap off the floor. About ten minutes later, when he's done with that, he has his Hitmonlee holding a ladder steady as he climbs up to replace a lightbulb. He glances over, and there's a spikey head by the shoe racks, with Steve's little pink shape nearby. His eyebrows jump up.]

Holy shit. You're actually making yourself useful.

[He reaches up to pull the cover off the light.] I figured you'd vanish into thin air as soon as some work came along.

Hmm?

[Phoenix looks up from around the mountain of shoes in his arms, that he's carefully lifting up and dumping by the door.] Well, I mean...this sort of thing is pretty routine when you live with a teenage daughter. I'm used to it. [He grumbles about doing housework a lot, but he honestly doesn't mind it.]

It's almost like being back at the office, but with less law books and magic tricks lying around everywhere. (And probably cleaner, believe it or not...)

Daughter, huh. [Blake wasn't expecting that. His organs for empathy, tiny and atrophied as they are, make their best attempt to twinge. It's rough enough to get kidnapped here when you don't have anybody you're leaving behind.] You're holding it together pretty well for somebody who got yanked away from a family.

[Then he's just confused.] The hell kind of law office has magic tricks around?

It helps, knowing that nothing is changing back at home. When I do go back -- whenever that will be -- everything will be waiting for me just as I left it. It's hard to get used to at first, sure...but it makes things easier.

I have a photo of her, if you want to see. [Phoenix smiles, pauses what he's doing so he can walk over to where Blake is.] She's a magician, and she's also a teenager. Her stuff sort of ends up everywhere.

[22] [Video/Action for Goldenrod] - "I Know a Lot About the Law and Various Other Lawyerings"

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