lieutenantantichrist | [21] Video/Action for Goldenrod

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[21] Video/Action for Goldenrod - "I'm gonna rule this world."

[In a square in the center of Goldenrod City, a small crowd has gathered. A show is about to start.

There's a crude stage that's been freshly hammered together. Near the back, a little Snubbull is tapping in the last few nails. The platform wobbles but holds as a man climbs up it, then takes a place at a podium in the center. He's wearing a white button-up shirt and, in concession to his ambitions, a tie. He looks toward the camera.] Hey, Newt. You got that thing running?

[The camera's view nods up and down.]

All right.

[He holds his arms up for silence. Then, when no one quite pays attention, he barks,] Hey! All of you! Shut up!

[That's much more effective. When the eyes of the curious onlookers are on him, he plants his hands on the sides of the podium and clears his throat.]

All of you. Locals, people from the real world, people from the fuckin' moon. You know me. See, I've been here a long, long time. Two damn years, and I know some of you have been here longer. I was thinking about that, and you know what I realized?

[His voice gets louder and clearer as he finds his rhythm.]

I realized I'm not a fuckin' tourist. None of us are. This is our world as much as it is theirs-- and nobody is doing dick to run it.

Look around. Everybody does whatever they damn well please, and that's real nice right up until the minute some idiot starts planting bombs around. The closest thing to somebody in charge is the police, and they're a goddamn joke who give terrorists a week picking up garbage and then set them loose again. There's nobody calling the shots.

That changes today.

[His boots thud on plywood as he tramps back and forth along the stage, and his speech takes a turn toward harangue.]

When bees and sharks came crashing through people's windows, who smacked them right back out? Me. When some moron went around shooting lasers at the city, who knocked him out of the sky? Me. When a couple armies of fire and water idiots tried to wreck up the place with giant monsters, who went out to stop them? [He jerks his thumb to his chest.] Me.

[His voice is getting louder and louder. The cords stand out on his neck.]

And I'm not some jumped-up fourteen-year-old who thinks he's magic. I've been around the block in the real world. I have decades on the front lines. I haven't just lead people, I've lead them into tenements full of crackheads with shotguns. That has to mean something, even here.

Somebody around here has to get shit in order, and I'm done waiting.

[His tread takes him back to the podium. He grips the sides with his coarse-knuckled hands and leans over it to look straight into the Gear.]

I'm not asking you. I'm telling you.

From now on, I'm the head honcho around here.

[He jabs his finger at the camera.]

Stand with me or get out of my way.

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_{[Poor Steve. Normally Heather would waste no time in ruffling the Snubbull's ears, but right now she's a little alarmed at what's going on and that takes priority.]}

Dude, you can't just stand up and declare yourself the president or-- or whatever, and expect that to actually happen!

This place has a government!

... A SHITTY government, but it's still, you know, there!

Does it?

[He gives her a level look.]

You could've fooled me.

[He's a little hurt.] I'd've figured you'd be on my side here. You're a bright kid. You know things can't go on like this forever.

_{[SORRY BLAKE. She loves you, she really does!]

[But someone's gotta pull you back down to earth!]}

Really? Because they seemed to be getting along just fine before we all got here.

Anyway, what's to stop you from like-- I don't know, running for office or something? Standing on a box and yelling 'I'M KING'-- c'mon, nobody's gonna listen to that!

_{[... Not that she... really thinks he should BE in a position of power, because... WOW NO, but...]}

[Screw Earth. It's real far away and what has it done for him lately?]

If they were doing so hot, why'd they bring us here? Why do they keep having us solve all their problems?

[He hops down and sits on the edge of the stage.]

Even if there was a way to have an election - ballots all over the country, somebody to bring them in, somebody to count them - even if there was all that shit, what'd be the point? There's not exactly anybody running in opposition. There aren't even parties.

Hell, that's one of the great things about here: it's a world without Democrats.

Oh, god.

_{[SHE DID NOT WANT TO START A POLITICS DISCUSSION.]

[Groaning, she drags a hand down her face.]}

Look, I don't think ANYBODY brought us here. Not on purpose, anyway. THESE people sure didn't. What do you plan to accomplish, anyway? Why should any of these chumps listen to you? Let's be real, Blake, if everybody in this plaza sent out their Pokemon all at once and told them to attack you, you'd lose.

[He spreads his arms.] Sure, they could.

[then brings them in and holds up a finger.] But they haven't. Nobody's even tried to sic an animal on me. That tells you something. They're not that upset.

[His hands go out in the classic what are you gonna do? gesture.] They'll listen to me because they need somebody like me, whether they know it or not. You ever hear about those lawless communes hippies've tried to set up? Sooner or later, they break down and come crawling back to civilization.

No, they're not siccing their animals on you because you look like that guy on the corner of Butterfree Ave who stands on a crate and yells about how they're hiding aliens in the Ruins of Alph and that soon Lugia will rise from the seas and start a reign of tsunamis.

Being upset about some kook declaring himself overlord would be a waste of their energy!

C'mon, Blake, this is stupid!

[Hey, he knows that guy. He snorts and folds his arms.] He's talking crazy tin-hat shit, and I'm talking common sense. It's a big difference.

[Come on now, Heather. He thought you were bright and mature.

His mouth sets stubbornly.] I'm just doing what somebody should have done a long time ago. Sooner or later somebody's going to, and I'm a lot better of an option than some real wacko.

_{[AND SHE THOUGHT YOU WEREN'T A TOTAL LOONY.]}

Do what?

Declare themselves overlord?

What exactly do you plan on doing when, inevitably, no one listens to you?

Sicc your Pokemon on them?

[He throws it back at her firmly] Establish a government.

Think about it, Heather. You've been through a Civics class. How long do you think a country can last without anybody in office? It's a good thing I got here before somebody who would be charging around trampling people with magic elephants.

[He points his finger at her.] People can do what they want as long as they don't break the law. Then they'll have a real justice system to deal with.

Establishing a government, huh.

So how are you gonna get this 'justice system' to work.

Yell at the Jennies until they listen to you?

[Blake scoffs.] Those empty uniforms? I'm going right around them. What are they gonna do, make me pick up trash?

There's hardly any laws here at all. There can't be one against making some of your own.

Besides, I've already got some people on board to get a real system together. [He gets a cocky smirk.] I have me a Chief Justice.

_{[--okay, now THAT piques Heather's interest. She raises her brows.]}

--what, seriously?

Who?

_{[Who on earth is going along with this shitshow?]}

[Blake stands proud.]

A kid by the name of Tobias. He's young, so I'll have to keep an eye on him, but he's been around the block and he has some good ideas.

.... Are you KIDDING me?!

_{[SHE WAS NOT EXPECTING THAT AT ALL.]}

TOBIAS?!

Kid's like-- like FOURTEEN are you literally for REAL right now?!

[Blake is unfazed.] You should know better than anybody not to underestimate kids. You're still a squirt yourself.

He's plenty old enough to handle purse snatchers and magic rat thieves. The mad bombers, now...

[His brows draw down.]

I'll handle those myself.

I don't underestimate kids.

I just don't believe in assigning them roles in attempted government takeovers.

[Blake points out with his finely-honed, relentless logic] It's not a government takeover if there was nobody there to take it from. It's just a government...over.

Anyway, look around you. We don't exactly have a surplus of adults in the area.

_{[She's groaning now, and massaging her temples. It's quickly becoming apparent that there's no arguing with Blake.]}

Whatever.

Look, if anything happens to Tobias, you've got me to answer to. All right?

[He shoots her a hard look.]

Nothing's going to happen to the kid. I'm looking out for him.

[He squares his shoulders.]

I'm looking out for everybody now.

Forgive me, but I don't feel particularly reassured by that.

_{[She loves you, Blake. BUT REALLY.]

[Sighing, she shakes her head.]}

C'mon, Tricia.

_{[She nods to the Manectric who's been sitting patiently at her feet and starts to head off.]}

[Fine, be that way. He'll show her. Soon enough everybody will have to admit he's doing the right thing.]

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[21] Video/Action for Goldenrod - "I'm gonna rule this world."

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