lieutenantantichrist | [21] Video/Action for Goldenrod

[In a square in the center of Goldenrod City, a small crowd has gathered. A show is about to start.

There's a crude stage that's been freshly hammered together. Near the back, a little Snubbull is tapping in the last few nails. The platform wobbles but holds as a man climbs up it, then takes a place at a podium in the center. He's wearing a white button-up shirt and, in concession to his ambitions, a tie. He looks toward the camera.] Hey, Newt. You got that thing running?

[The camera's view nods up and down.]

All right.

[He holds his arms up for silence. Then, when no one quite pays attention, he barks,] Hey! All of you! Shut up!

[That's much more effective. When the eyes of the curious onlookers are on him, he plants his hands on the sides of the podium and clears his throat.]

All of you. Locals, people from the real world, people from the fuckin' moon. You know me. See, I've been here a long, long time. Two damn years, and I know some of you have been here longer. I was thinking about that, and you know what I realized?

[His voice gets louder and clearer as he finds his rhythm.]

I realized I'm not a fuckin' tourist. None of us are. This is our world as much as it is theirs-- and nobody is doing dick to run it.

Look around. Everybody does whatever they damn well please, and that's real nice right up until the minute some idiot starts planting bombs around. The closest thing to somebody in charge is the police, and they're a goddamn joke who give terrorists a week picking up garbage and then set them loose again. There's nobody calling the shots.

That changes today.

[His boots thud on plywood as he tramps back and forth along the stage, and his speech takes a turn toward harangue.]

When bees and sharks came crashing through people's windows, who smacked them right back out? Me. When some moron went around shooting lasers at the city, who knocked him out of the sky? Me. When a couple armies of fire and water idiots tried to wreck up the place with giant monsters, who went out to stop them? [He jerks his thumb to his chest.] Me.

[His voice is getting louder and louder. The cords stand out on his neck.]

And I'm not some jumped-up fourteen-year-old who thinks he's magic. I've been around the block in the real world. I have decades on the front lines. I haven't just lead people, I've lead them into tenements full of crackheads with shotguns. That has to mean something, even here.

Somebody around here has to get shit in order, and I'm done waiting.

[His tread takes him back to the podium. He grips the sides with his coarse-knuckled hands and leans over it to look straight into the Gear.]

I'm not asking you. I'm telling you.

From now on, I'm the head honcho around here.

[He jabs his finger at the camera.]

Stand with me or get out of my way.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

No, he's the kind of idiot who overworks himself until he's literally about to die. Not the kind of guy who's a real good role model.

How about a happy medium, somewhere in between working yourself to death and sitting on the couch all day?

If only I was allowed to relax all day. Even if I was somebody who felt like getting involved in that crap? I've got three dozen noses to keep out of trouble. And half of them like to get into it.

You mean your animals? Everybody has those. If you can't handle them, you should work on being a better-

[He breaks off and suddenly looks up an out of frame.] Hey! Get off the damn roof!

[An Emolga comes flitting down across the screen. Blake grumbles,] Furry little jackass.

[...uh huh.]

It's been a learning process.

Look. If you wanna do this, fine. It's not like I'm gonna get in your way. I'm not gonna treat you like a king or anything, hell knows I don't do that with mine as it is, but go for it, and good luck. But leave me out of it, okay?

All right. Keep your nose out of my business and don't make any trouble, and we'll get along just fine.

[After a second, he adds,] I'm not a king, anyway.

Just President.

King, president, does it really matter what you call it that much? Leader of the country.

You want me to go around calling myself Emperor Carter?

[He pauses. That does have a ring to it...]

If you wanna be that much of a show-off about it? Not my problem.

I'll stick with President. Sounds more like business, less like crowns and capes and inbreeding.

[Though a crown, that's not a terrible idea...

The kid's apathy is starting to get to him.] Don't you give a damn about this place? You've been here a while. It's your world too.

For now, maybe. You never know when that could change. For all I know? I could be gone tomorrow.

So I'd rather focus on giving Rose and the others as good a life as I can give them while I can, rather than chasing some dream of changing a world that isn't forever. You know?

That's the same as the real world. You might drop dead from a heart attack tomorrow, but that's no excuse not to go to work.

[The line of his mouth hardens.]

That's how a coward thinks.

I prefer 'useless bum who's still trying to get used to the possibility of maybe having a purpose in life'.

Believe me, Sion could tell you, back when I was in school, people would have looked at me cross-eyed if they'd seen me even doing this much.

A bum's no thing to be, kid. You end up sitting around in the snow drinking Night Train and telling people about the Pentagon wiretapping your cat.

You want a chance to show them up and do something worthwhile, here it is. You won't get a better one.

I'd say taking care of these guys seems like a pretty worthwhile life to me.

Give me a few more years, and maybe at that point I'd be up for it. But right now, no.

[A line of frustration appears between Blake's eyes. Damn teenagers.]

Fine. You ever feel like getting off the couch and doing something useful, give me a call.

[If you only knew his life you'd see that how much he does do around here really is a miracle...]

I'll keep that in mind. Have fun with the paperwork.

[21] Video/Action for Goldenrod - "I'm gonna rule this world."

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