lieutenantantichrist | [5]Video/Action for Violet City

[The feed comes up on Blake outside the Violet City gym. He's holding the Gear in one hand and tossing something small in the other. Behind him his Snubbull is sitting on his Mareep, both looking proud of themselves. For his part, Blake doesn't look so thrilled.]

Hell of a loaded word, "badge."

[He catches it on the toss and holds it up to the camera.]

Look at that. Does it looks like much use to you?

[He sighs and slips it in his pocket.]

Zap the crap out of a kid's birds and get a medal that lets you fly.

You know what the worst part is? It's not until right now I realized there's anything wrong with that. I'm getting used to it.

[He starts walking aimlessly down the street, Pokemon trotting after him.]

It's baseball season, not that you'd know it here. Can't remember the last time I missed Opening Day. But hell, now it's been more than a month. Just went right by. How's it even May if you're not arresting drunk idiots on Cinco de Mayo? It's not right.

[Blake looks troubled.]

It's too easy to get caught up in this animal fighting crap and forget about the real world.

[His expression shifts toward its more familiar flinty pugnacity.]

Almost everybody here's been here longer than me. Give me some proof you haven't forgotten. Tell me something about home. Anything, I don't know, something you miss.

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Goldenrod has a baseball stadium. Maybe you'll be able to watch games on ESP-ON.

[Hmmn, something about home... Family and friends are probably too typical of answers.]

I can tell you something I don't miss. Getting shoved into a crowd of people that haven't bathed in a week. Oh, and boot night. Wasn't too keen on either of those things.

[Blake perks up a little] It does? Wait, ESP.... [groans] That's terrible.

You should've made some friends with better hygiene.

I don't wanna know what boot night is, do I.

[Hiccup is blissfully unaware of Pokemon Land's horrible sense of humor.]

Vikings don't know the meaning of the word 'hygiene'. And no, you probably don't.

[Boot night was the thing of nightmares.]

Edited (uh words oops) 2013-05-12 01:42 (UTC)

[Oh you'll see it soon enough.]

Vikings? Like the ones from Minnesota?

[Alas, he doesn't know enough pop culture references!]

Like from Berk? With snow and ice and helmets and fur? [Here, he screws up his face in an impression of Snotlout and makes his voice gruffer with a touch of Scottish accent ~~for some reason~~.] 'Grr, I could eat a yak in one sitting then club my enemy with its thigh bone'?

From where?

[Soon Blake gets the idea.]

Kid, there haven't been real Vikings for hundreds of years. And nobody eats yak.

So I've been told. I've also been told that Berk doesn't exist in most worlds, so I'm guessing you also don't have real dragons where you're from.

[Raising an eyebrow...]

Just because you don't eat yak doesn't mean no one eats yak. They're mostly for milking and shearing, though.

[Blake is getting used to people trying to sell him crazy bullshit.]

Okay, yaks I'll give you, maybe. No dragons, though.

That's a shame. They make great friends.

[When they weren't...burning down your village, stealing your food, or running off, anyway. Yeah.]

I'll take a friend who doesn't breathe fire and who's real instead.

They may exist here, but they look like more of a pain than they're worth. What do you even feed those things?

A dragon will eat whatever it wants, basically. Back home, fish is what's in best supply. Goldenrod also has a good sushi place. It's really a great city.

[Yeah, can you tell he's used to people not believing him?]

Hasn't gotten around to taking a bite out of you yet, though?

Dragons eat sushi. Got it.

[Blake sighs.] I'm sick of Japanese food.

Not sure, actually. [And yet he doesn't seem to bothered. Kind of thoughtful.] I was falling into a sea of fire and passing out at the time, so losing my leg could have been a few different things.

Nobody's forcing you to eat anything, you know. Maybe you could even find yak. That'd be different.

[Okay now Blake is lost.] What the hell were you doing falling into something that was on fire? And what do you mean you lost your leg?

[Blake tries to be subtle about looking to see if the kid is legless.]

There's not much else to choose from. Right now I'd go for yak over taking the gamble every time about whether those round fried things are onion rings or squid.

[Blake looks downcast.]

They're always squid.

You say that like I was doing it on purpose. And I mean... [Give him a second to just lean over and pop this thing off...] This.

[Ta-da! Leg. It isn't one of them fancy modern prosthetic legs, that's for sure.]

Personally, I don't mind the squid. Sounds like you need to head to Goldenrod or Saffron, though--check out RockSmashburger Pizza Paras-dice.

Something must've been going wrong there. Things don't get set on fire by themselves.

[Something goes pop.]

[Blake wasn't expecting the kid to yank his leg off.]

[Blake looks at it for a long time, with growing unease.]

Kid. I don't know how to break this to you, but that's a chunk of wood.

[He's distracted by the notion of squid, and the place's predictably weird name.]

Yeah, that sounds trustworthy.

Shit. I'm desperate enough to give it a shot.

I guess the easiest way to put it is that...the bigger dragon blew up.

[Talking to this guy is fun. c=]

Hey, this is sophisticated for my time period. Look, it even has a spring.

[He demonstrates the spring before putting his leg in the proper place.]

If you don't like sushi, those are the best restaurants Goldenrod has to offer, in my opinion. Besides, every place has a weird name.

Well there's your problem them. Gotta watch out for the explosive ones.

[That sure is a spring.]

Whatever works for you.

[The kid doesn't look real broken up about it. In fact, besides the whole viking and dragon bullshit, he comes across like any other kid.]

Tell me about it. I want to take everybody's book of puns away and beat them with it til the stupid falls out.

Hell, if I ever get out of this place, I'll try it. While I'm busy never looking at the color purple again.

I don't mind all puns, but yeah, this place goes a little over the top.

Violet City can do that to you. Assuming that's why you hate purple, and you don't have...some other reason for wishing a color didn't exist.

If I never see another soda machine full of Monferno Dew, it'll be too soon.

I wasn't that big a fan to begin with, even before it was every single building. What does this place have, a homeowner's association?

I don't know what that is, but they probably do.

[5]Video/Action for Violet City

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...there was supposed to be an "or" between burger and pizza. "orz

I kind of like it that way

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