Lt. Carter Blake (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
lieutenantantichrist) wrote2014-12-09 02:35 am
lieutenantantichrist) wrote2014-12-09 02:35 am
Entry tags:
[20]Video/Action for Vermilion City - "How Many Illiterates Are There Here?"
[After getting a faceful of bees, sharks, and the ugliest snowflakes in creation in Celadon, Blake has moved on. He could take furious monsters from the sky, but if he had to deal with one more yuppie moron asking about his favorite boutique, he was going to clock somebody. Vermilion just has survival weirdos and muscleheads. He can live with those.
Anyway, the feed comes up on him in a library, because it was the only way to shut his lobster up.
He's sitting on a plush chair, looking sullen. Behind him, there's a table covered with books, topped by a Clauncher perusing them avidly. There's also a pile on the chair to one side of Blake. To the other side, there's his Snubbull, absorbed in some naval historical fiction.]
You know what they tell you about these little animals? They tell you what to feed them. They tell you about all the ways to fight with them.
They don't tell you that sometimes your lobster will tug on your pantleg and make whimpery noises until you take it to a damn library.
[Said lobster scuttles down from the table and clacks over, with a book on his back that he steadies with his claw. He climbs up on the chair besides Blake and deposits it on top of the pile. He looks at the untouched stack. He looks at Blake's empty hands. The stare in his eye is quiet disappointment.]
What?
[The Clauncher says nothing.
Blake sighs.] All right, all right. I'll take a look.
[He picks up a book from the pile, one that looks short, and opens it.] "Maman died today." Christ, that's cheerful. Who wants to read that kind of depressing shit?
[He tosses it aside and tries another.] "A green and yellow Chatot, which hung in a cage outside the door..." Nope, don't care about anybody's bird.
[He grabs another and opens it in the middle.] "I have heard the mermaids singing..." Yeah, sure you have buddy, I don't give a shit.
[One more, and he jabs a finger at a line at random.] "A drowsy numbness pains my sense, as though of hemlock I had drunk, or emptied some dull opiate" - the hell is this? Who wants to read about some moody junkie? They gotta have something where they talk like goddamn normal people.
[The Clauncher's antennae twitch and he perks up, getting an idea. He scuttles off and returns with a slim volume, which he sets on Blake's knee and opens to a certain page. He points at a line with his claw.
Blake picks it up for a closer look, then breaks into a smile.] Hey, that's not bad. [He looks to the screen.] Listen to this.
[He clears his throat and holds the book up dramatically. He recites,] "The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers."
[He sets it down and gestures at the screen.] Still, I got a question.
[He spreads his hands.] What good has a book ever done anybody?
Anyway, the feed comes up on him in a library, because it was the only way to shut his lobster up.
He's sitting on a plush chair, looking sullen. Behind him, there's a table covered with books, topped by a Clauncher perusing them avidly. There's also a pile on the chair to one side of Blake. To the other side, there's his Snubbull, absorbed in some naval historical fiction.]
You know what they tell you about these little animals? They tell you what to feed them. They tell you about all the ways to fight with them.
They don't tell you that sometimes your lobster will tug on your pantleg and make whimpery noises until you take it to a damn library.
[Said lobster scuttles down from the table and clacks over, with a book on his back that he steadies with his claw. He climbs up on the chair besides Blake and deposits it on top of the pile. He looks at the untouched stack. He looks at Blake's empty hands. The stare in his eye is quiet disappointment.]
What?
[The Clauncher says nothing.
Blake sighs.] All right, all right. I'll take a look.
[He picks up a book from the pile, one that looks short, and opens it.] "Maman died today." Christ, that's cheerful. Who wants to read that kind of depressing shit?
[He tosses it aside and tries another.] "A green and yellow Chatot, which hung in a cage outside the door..." Nope, don't care about anybody's bird.
[He grabs another and opens it in the middle.] "I have heard the mermaids singing..." Yeah, sure you have buddy, I don't give a shit.
[One more, and he jabs a finger at a line at random.] "A drowsy numbness pains my sense, as though of hemlock I had drunk, or emptied some dull opiate" - the hell is this? Who wants to read about some moody junkie? They gotta have something where they talk like goddamn normal people.
[The Clauncher's antennae twitch and he perks up, getting an idea. He scuttles off and returns with a slim volume, which he sets on Blake's knee and opens to a certain page. He points at a line with his claw.
Blake picks it up for a closer look, then breaks into a smile.] Hey, that's not bad. [He looks to the screen.] Listen to this.
[He clears his throat and holds the book up dramatically. He recites,] "The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers."
[He sets it down and gestures at the screen.] Still, I got a question.
[He spreads his hands.] What good has a book ever done anybody?
[video]
[He sighs pretty heavily...]
Honestly, though, I've always been more for the visual arts, myself, but putting all intellectual pursuits aside, a good book is a good way to spend an afternoon, at the very least.
[video]
There's a whole lot of better things out there to do than stare at a book...Visual arts? You mean you're some kinda painter, Archie?
[video]
Well, certainly, but in some cases it's just what one wants to do. There are better things out there to do than watching a decent show that ultimately turns out to be extremely disappointing on account of its complete lack of an ending, after all.
[HE STILL HASN'T FORGIVEN YOU FOR THAT DVD SET]
And yes, though I'm also fond of sculpture and crafts, as well.
[video]
[He breaks into a big old grin.] Ahh, you watched the whole thing! C'mon, the shitty ending's half the fun. [That is, inflicting it on somebody else.]
Wait a minute, crafts? You do macrame and weave baskets?
[video]
[he stopped believing.]
...Basket weaving's really never been a thing I've done, though I've attempted macrame once or twice, among other things. Really, it's mostly a thing I do when I'm bored, though it earns a bit of extra money here if you make Pokemon-themed crafts.
[video]
[For a second, something odd passes over Blake's face at the thought of the guys back at the precinct. He shrugs it away quick.
For one thing, there's something else to grab his attention.]
Wait a minute.
[His mouth twitches, still, and twitches again.]
You're fuckin' serious.
[video]
[Kayneth... just sort of looks confused.]
...do I look like I'm joking...?
[video]
[Okay, it's a full-out grin now.]
You do fuckin' macrame. Hippy necklaces.
[He gets a wonderful mental image that won't be denied.]
Archie. Archie, for the love of god here, tell me you knit.
[video]
...they're not hippie necklaces, they're charming little wall hangings. I made some of local Pokemon and they were very popular.
...and look, I've given it a go, but it really isn't funny.
[JUST BECAUSE YOU SAY IT ISN'T FUNNY DOESN'T MEAN IT'LL STOP BEING FUNNY, KAYNETH]
[video]
[Then his mouth twitches. It twitches and twitches, and twitches some more. He manages to keep his voice steady.]
You make cute lil' macrame pictures of magic gophers.
[video]
[the perils of being from 1995...
AND IT'S NOT
FUNNY]
....the locals like them.
[video]
[Nope, grin isn't fading a watt.]
You make gifts for people's grandmas.
You know what, that's great. That is contributing to the community. You should set up a stall at a flea market, between the guy who makes organic hemp shit and the kettle corn.
[video]
You know, there's absolutely nothing wrong with that! Or kettle corn, for that matter, because I've found that it's actually rather good!