lieutenantantichrist | [17] [Text/Action for Mahogany] - "Whenever You Get Involved, Someone Gets Hurt."

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[17] [Text/Action for Mahogany] - "Whenever You Get Involved, Someone Gets Hurt."

[ACTION]

[In a low-rent corner of Mahogany, there's a real gym. No mazes, no boss trying to fight you in exchange for something they call a badge, no lackeys, just weight machines and a floor covered with rubber mats, the way it should be. Open twenty-four hours, and this late there's no human in this room but Blake. He's in a sweatsuit, gray in contrast to the brown of the Hitmonlee holding pads for him in its upraised paws. The only sound is his harsh breaths and the thump of his fists on the canvas. His shoulders are hunched like a boxer's. His eyes look straight ahead. Judging from the sweat darkening the back of his shirt, he's been here a while.

On the other side of the room, a Snubbull is sitting on the floor, looking at a Gear that's resting on the mats. A Musharna floats beside her. Fifteen minutes of frustration proved that claws are no good for texting with, but she wants to talk to someone. She really wants to.

She snubs softly, so as not to make her trainer angry. The Musharna's eyes show no reaction, but the buttons on the Gear depress. The text that Steve watches appear seems to be accurate, more or less. The transcription might come strange through the dreaming creature. It's close enough for what she needs.]

[TEXT]

Hello lo low hello

Please talk to me.
I want to talk.
I will tell you my favorite story.
He told it to me when I couldn't sleep. His eyes were closed for some of it but I shook his knee and got to hear the end. Without the end it isn't a story.

Once
upon a time there was a girl. She was poor and alone because her parents were dead, and child services didn't exist then, so she had to go to live with her wicked stepmother and do work for her. Hard work, the kind that nearly killed her, but in time she got used to it.

Then one day she heard the prince was giving a big ball. She asked to go, but her stepmother wouldn't let her. So she tried to run off and get a ride to the castle from a knight, but her wicked stepmother had tailled her, and she found her and dragged her off the horse. While she was going, the wicked stepmother threw the knight a gold coin. He held onto it, and he kept looking at it all the time. He kept thinking about the girl.
He wanted to help her, but he couldn't.

The knight went to the ball, and he was going to kill the prince, but there were too many guards around watching him, so he ran away.

Then the knight went to find the girl and save her. The wicked stepmother grazed him in the neck with an evil spell, but he killed her and all the other guys too, even though he got hurt bad. At first the girl was scared, but then she was free and she was okay. She got to go back home to her real parents. The knight was a hero. All the papers said so.

And everyone lived happily ever after.

..........
..........
..........

Tell me your favorite story.
Voice or video if you can.
The words alone are lonely.

Tell me please.

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[It might be funny to see a grown man stumble back from a little pink animal, if it weren't for the shock on his face and the way she is snapping and snarling like a junkyard dog.]

Steve, what the hell-

[She cuts him off with a sharp bark.]

No! You listen!

[She'd been so scared and alone and then Yusuke told her a story about a brave boy, he talked to her and made her laugh and it was better, it was okay, and then he had to come and try to ruin it and lock himself up again and she isn't going to let him.

It's a surreal scene, a little Pokemon with a Musharna bobbing gently in midair behind her, snapping staccato barks at a man sheened with sweat and exhaustion who keeps whipping his head around to look down at the Gear on the floor where human words appear over a young man's face.]

We're partners and you won't even talk to me! You won't let anybody help you and you think it makes you strong but it doesn't! It makes you scared!

[She barely hears Yusuke, but knowing he's there gives her courage.]

You don't believe in anything! You'd rather scare other people because you're a coward! You'd rather run away from everybody than face when you're wrong!

[Her little paws are fists at her sides. Her barks bounce off the empty exercise equipment in the quiet room.]

Quit being such a pussy!

[Beneath the redness of exertion, Blake's face has gone white. His eyes narrow, and his voice is low.]

Shut up, dog.

[Yusuke is silent as he watches Steve lay into Blake. He doesn't make another attempt to get her attention or to soothe her; it's clear to him that she's had it, and sometimes, when things around you are so bad that all you wanna do is get angry, the best thing to do is to just get angry. He sure as hell isn't in any position to discourage her from that.

That said, he isn't prepared for how weird reading what she has to say makes him feel. "You won't let anybody help you and you think it makes you strong but it doesn't! It makes you scared!"...

... isn't that what he does, when shit sucks and the thought of talking to his friends about what's going on with him is somehow more unbearable than the thought of putting himself in a position where he might seem vulnerable to them? Just pulls away and doesn't talk to them and refuses to let them help him? He'd always thought of it as not burdening them with his problems and trying to seem strong for them, but...

...

He doesn't know. He doesn't have time to think about it, either, because all of the sudden, Blake's glaring down at Steve and telling her to shut up, and that pisses him off. Big time. Curling his lip, Yusuke leans forward and snarls back at him.]

HEY. Don't tell her to shut up, old man! She's only getting pissed off at you 'cause she's worried about you!

[And so is he, just a little bit. He isn't gonna say that out loud.]

[Blake shoots a glare at the phone on the ground and snorts contemptuously. He's stinging over being called a pussy, at how somebody who's supposed to be loyal and have his back has turned on him.] She's not worried-

[A quiet noise pulls his eyes away.

Steve, all the energy of her anger spent, has folded onto the floor. She sniffs hard.

Blake's brow furrows.] Are you?

[Eyes fixed on the mat, she nods rapidly.

Blake stands there for a minute, looking at the little dog. Then he sits down heavily on the mats, too. His shoulders sag, aching. God, he's tired.]

Aw, shit.

[Well. That settles that, then. Yusuke watches Blake sit back down, his body still thrumming with the sudden rush of adrenaline that'd accompanied the surge of anger he'd felt on Steve's behalf. He can tell the old man is exhausted - hell, he is too - but that doesn't stop him from continuing to glare at him with everything he's got, even as he speaks up again a moment later.

His voice is quiet and steady, but severe. If Blake thinks he's gonna get away with talking to Steve like that again, he's got another thing coming.]

Steve got on the network a little while ago asking people to tell her stories. I'm guessin' she just needed the distraction, 'cause when I asked her what was up, she told me you've been acting weird lately.

She's been pretty bent out of shape about it.

Right, Steve?

[He looks to her for confirmation, his expression relaxing a bit. He doesn't want to speak for her only to be completely off-base.]

[Blake doesn't look up. He lets his head hang and watches a drop of sweat patter on the mat.

His little dog, worried and lonely...fuck, he doesn't need any more goddamn guilt. Easier to be annoyed at her for getting other people involved.

His voice comes out rough-edged.]

I needed to think about shit, all right? Is it that fuckin' strange to want people to leave me alone for five minutes?

[In the pause, there's just the sound of an old electric fan sweeping back and forth.

The rigidity saps from Blake's shoulders.]

I didn't want anybody else to get dragged into this.

[As he speaks, the Musharna breathes mist. He doesn't look up to see the words that appear on the screen.] I didn't want anyone else to know

[Know what? He wonders, his eyes widening a little. He doesn't know what it is - intuition, or maybe he's just all getting jumpy and weird 'cause he hasn't slept properly in what feels like ages - but something about the words that appear on his screen make him feel profoundly uneasy. What the hell is Blake dealing with that's that bad...?

It takes a second or two for Yusuke to regain his composure enough to respond. When he finally does, his words are blunt.]

Listen, old man. I'm not gonna try to make you tell me what's up.

[I'm not sure I wanna know, says the part of him that's still shaken by the message relayed by the Musharna. He squashes that thought back down. Like hell he's going to let himself be spooked by some words on a screen.]

But whatever it is, suck it up and sort it out, all right? 'Cause the more time you spend not dealing with it, the more worried Steve's gonna get. Besides, it doesn't look like you're doin' yourself any favors by pussyfootin' around, either. You look like crap.

[The brat has a point. Maybe that's why Blake can't muster up any good protective layer of anger.]

...Kid.

[It comes out dull. His eyes can't quite manage to make it all the way over to the screen.]

What's the worst thing you've ever done?

Busted a car window? Stole a pack of smokes?

[Why is he asking him that? Yusuke eyes Blake warily for a long moment, then shrugs and glances away.]

Psht, I dunno, old man. I'm so good at screwin' up I've kinda lost track.

[It's an evasive answer, but what else is he supposed to say? He's not about to tell Blake that he made three of the people he cares about most watch him get violently murdered by some psycho in the hopes that they'd be pissed off enough that they'd find the strength to put said psycho ten inches underground where he belonged. The old man probably wouldn't believe him anyway.]

There's screw-ups you don't come back from.

All the sad dogs in the world don't change the facts.

[His hands flex, knuckles red and sore.]

For normal shit, you go to prison. This is a few thousand miles from normal.

Where do you go for that?

[Yusuke looks at Blake again. His brow is furrowed. That sense of unease is starting to creep its way back in.]

You're not making any sense.

Then I'll make it simple.

[He said he wasn't going to ask for details, and that's good. He doesn't want to tell him. Maybe Steve is right, and he is a pussy. He wants to get through the damn day without another kid despising him.]

I did a bad thing, kid, and I'm out of excuses.

[He's quiet for a while. His shirt is turning chill and clinging to his back.]

You believe in damnation?

["I did a bad thing, kid, and I'm out of excuses."

It's a good thing that Yusuke can maintain a good poker face when it really counts. Otherwise, if Blake had been looking at him when he said that, he probably would've been able to see the exact moment when his chest tightened, sudden and sharp.

Yusuke doesn't know what "bad thing" it was that Blake did. He isn't going to ask. But he isn't stupid. He can tell just by the way Blake looks right now that whatever it was, it was something big, and the implications of that are enough to make that uneasy feeling he's had this entire time solidify in his gut.

That said, he doesn't say anything - not until Blake himself speaks up again, and... well. Needless to say, if the circumstances were different, he might've laughed at the irony of Blake asking him that question. As it is, he just kind of... looks at him for a second before he responds, his expression inscrutable.]

You mean do I believe there's some special place where bad people go after they die?

[Yusuke isn't going to lie. He looks Blake right in the face and tells him:]

Yeah. I do.

[Blake's murmuring half to himself] Wasn't me...but it could've been. Pure fucking luck.

[His fingers knit together and clench hard.

Steve sits quietly to the side. Her breathing has steadied, though she sniffs a little. Now and then her ears twitch as she listens.

Yeah. The pit of Blake's stomach goes cold.]

What do you figure it's like?

[Yusuke doesn't catch all of what Blake's muttering, but what little he does hear confuses him. "Wasn't me"? "Pure luck"? What the hell is he talking about? ...

...

Well, whatever. If Blake wants to tell him what's on his mind, Yusuke figures he will. 'Til then, he just lets it go, shrugging at the old man's question.]

I dunno. Full of fire, I guess. I've never been there.

[Never made it that far, he thinks.]

That's what they say. Fire, sulfur. All that shit.

But maybe it's not.

Maybe it's someplace real quiet. Nobody's life on the line. No reasons to do whatever it takes.

Nothing to do but be you.

[He's reciting as if a foreign voice is coming out of his mouth, one he has nothing to do with.]

Where all the monsters go.

[Yusuke doesn't say anything for a while. Then, finally, he asks:]

You think that's where you're going, old man?

Hell?

No.

[His eyes are fixed down on the mat. Away from how Steve is watching him.]

Not going.

[It takes a second for Yusuke to get what Blake means. His expression sobers when he does, and another long stretch of silence follows, during which he mulls over what to say. So the old man thinks this place is something like purgatory, huh. That he was sent here because of what he'd done. He hadn't missed what Blake had said as he was describing his own idea of what Hell might be - "nobody's life on the line", "no reasons to do what it takes". "Nothing to do but be you". Does that mean that whatever it was that Blake had done, it was done while he was on the job? Given that the old man is a cop, the implications of that don't settle well with Yusuke at all - he's supposed to be the good guy, so what the hell did he do a "bad thing" for?

But then Yusuke thinks of the hospital, and how prepared he'd been to knock out every single person there in order to suss out the Doctor before his virus could wipe out the entire building - how prepared he'd been to kill the Doctor, even though he hadn't wanted to because he was a human. He thinks of Kurama, who'd been forced to kill a ten-year-old boy because Sensui had set it up so that the fate of the planet rested on getting that ten-year-old boy out of their way. It's not always as simple as just doing what's good or nice. When it comes down to life or death, you do what you have to do to get the job done, even if it means compromising your morals. Maybe that was how it was for Blake. Yusuke would like to believe that it was, at least. The alternative makes his blood run cold.

That said, whatever it was that Blake had done, it's clearly messing with him now. And while that doesn't absolve him of guilt, it does make it hard for Yusuke to judge him or feel angry with him, even with the knowledge that the "bad thing" he'd done might not have actually been necessary. Maybe if he feels bad about it now, that means there's a chance he can do better in the future. Blake might not think people can start over, but Yusuke knows that isn't true. As long as you want to start over, you can start over. Yusuke genuinely believes that.

When Yusuke speaks up again, his voice is quiet. He's leaned back in his seat now, his arms folded across his chest. The look on his face is still slightly unreadable, but he's no longer looking at Blake - rather, he's gazing up towards the ceiling, in a way that would seem thoughtful if he weren't still wearing that poker face.]

Y'know, I know some guys who've done bad things. I'm not talking small stuff, either, like getting shitfaced in public or spray painting dicks on walls.

Edited 2014-09-03 11:02 (UTC)

[Blake doesn't give a damn what kind of shit the kid gives him for thinking this. It's been preying on his mind for a long time now, crouching in the shadows cast by street preachers and bad movies, the notions of sin that passed your brain and filled the cracks in your bones whether you believed them or not.

It's a notion down in your sense of what the world should be, even when you know it isn't: when you do wrong, you pay.

It's strange and unsettling when the kid doesn't give him shit at all.

Dully, he says,] Yeah?

What happened to them?

[Yusuke pauses as he considers how to answer that question. He could be vague. He could omit certain details just to avoid the possibility of having the point he's trying to make derailed by the old man giving him crap. But after thinking it over, he decides not to do either. For one thing, it's late and he's too tired to think up a good way to fudge it so it isn't blatantly obvious he's leaving stuff out; for another thing... well, he just doesn't feel like lying. Even if it's only by omission.

So, slowly and casually, he tells Blake:]

Well, eventually they got busted for stealing a couple artifacts and were offered a deal by the guys who caught them. If they helped protect people from criminals, then their records'd be wiped clean.

And they did. Saved a lot of people, too.

[Finally, after what feels like ages, Yusuke looks at Blake again. His gaze is level.]

I know 'cause I'm the guy they got stuck working with.

[It doesn't make a whole lot of sense but he's heard plenty weirder.]

Hell of a thing to do with criminals. You can't go trusting people like that. Let me guess, they took the chance and ran.

[The last thing he expects to hear is that it worked. He shakes his head.]

Scum is scum, kid. They don't change their stripes, and they sure as hell don't save anybody.

[Now that surprises him enough to make his eyes lift.]

You're too young to be a cop.

[Yusuke's first instinct, when Blake tells him that "scum" can't change, is to snap at him to shut up. It's not the fact that the old man's being contrary as hell that bugs him... okay, well, it does kind of bug him, but at least it's something he can handle. What he can't handle is listening to someone talk about his friends that way.

That said, he manages to keep from chewing Blake's head off about it, albeit not without truly Herculean amounts of effort. Blake will probably notice that he's being given one hell of a dirty look when he looks up, though. He'll probably also notice how sharp Yusuke's tone of voice is when he responds.]

I'm not. I'm a detective.

[... or, well. He was one up until recently. He's not going to mention that, though. If there's anything he doesn't want to explain, it's that.]

See, back in my world, when the guys up in the afterlife need to take care of criminals that normal humans couldn't handle, like demons or psychics or humans with connections to Demon World, they send out somebody they've recruited from the living world to go after 'em. That somebody is me. So I don't work for any human agencies or anything. I work for Spirit World.

["SPIRIT WORLD", HUH. Does that sound familiar...?]

[Blake about expects that look. He's done plenty to earn it.

He gives him a flat look back. Crisis of conscience or not, that's hard to take.] You're a detective.

[and then, in a day full of feeling like somebody miles removed from himself, he does the strangest thing he could.

He listens.

After some thought, he shakes his head.]

Some kinda ghost police...Shit. I don't know if I believe you, and I don't think it fuckin' matters.

Whether you're on a mission from God or not, it doesn't change where we are.

[Before he can sink back into black dejection, a crease appears between his eyes.] Spirits? Like in that story of yours?

[...

Well. That was a less abrasive response than Yusuke was expecting. Guess the old man really is out of it - he'd been bracing himself for a full-blown argument, not an "I don't believe you but it probably doesn't make a difference one way or another because we're in Hell right now". Despite himself, Yusuke's expression relaxes, just slightly. It's hard for him to stay aggravated when the person he's aggravated at seems so depressed. Even when that person is Blake.]

Yeah. Exactly like that.

[And that's all he says, for the moment.]

[There's your clearest sign of how fucked up Blake is in the head right now: he doesn't feel like arguing.]

It sounded pretty damn detailed. Like something you knew real well.

Like you really knew somebody who'd died and paid for it and come back to life, like some kinda Japanese magic Jesus.

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