[And as absorbed in telling the story as he is, Yusuke doesn't actually notice the sudden absence of background noise either. He's a little surprised by how much Steve seems to be enjoying listening to him - surprised, and also pretty pleased, which is probably why his answer to Steve's question regarding whether "the guy" died or not comes out sounding a lot more cheerful than it really ought to.]
Yep! Cracked his skull open on the concrete and died right on impact. In fact, it happened so fast the guy didn't even know what the hell was goin' on at first. He saw his body on the ground, saw all the people standing around and gawking at him like it was some kinda screwed up free show, saw the jerks in the ambulance pick him up and stuff him into the back of their ride, but it wasn't until he sat down and tried to focus on remembering everything that'd happened up until then that finally he was like, "holy shit, I'm a frickin' ghost."
That's when things got even weirder.
Out of nowhere, this girl riding an oar showed up, and at first, the guy was freaked out. Thought she was some kind of witch. 'Cause, y'know, that's really what his day needed, was a visit from a fucking witch. But then when he asked her who the hell she was, she told him...
[Yusuke pitches his voice up and puts on a goofy accent. It sounds vaguely British.]
"Oh, no one! Just the Grim Reaper!"
[Yusuke's voice goes back to normal. For the most part, anyway, because he continues to use the "Reaper voice" whenever necessary as he progresses through the story. You're welcome, Botan.]
The guy wasn't buying it. He said, "the hell you are! Since when was the Grim Reaper a cute girl with thunderboobs and not a skeleton in big black robes?" And then she pulled a book out of her kimono and flipped through it and said, "Oh yeah, I thought you'd be kind of a dick! It says here in my stupid stalker book that you are, and also that you're loud and obnoxious and your grades suck! Golly gee, your life was pretty crappy, huh?" Because that's not creepy or bitchy at all. The guy got pissed off and told her off. Said to her, "hey, if you're gonna run your mouth so much, could you at least tell me something useful, like whether or not that kid's okay?" Then the Reaper asked him if he wanted to go see for himself, and they went to the hospital where the kid and his mom were.
The kid was fine. A little scraped up, but hell, compared to the guy, he was in great shape. Satisfied that the kid was okay, the guy told the Reaper he was ready to leave. "Take me to Hell or where ever else I'm supposed to go. I've got no regrets." And y'know what the Reaper did?
She laughed right in his frickin' face.
The guy felt like punching her out, but since she was kinda hot, he asked her what her problem was instead. "Oh, I'm not here to take you away from the living world," she said. "I'm here to give you a shot at getting your life back." See, apparently the people up in Spirit World, the place where people went after they kicked it, hadn't expected him to die that day, especially not by saving a kid 'cause he was such a scumbag. In fact, if the guy hadn't interfered, the kid woulda survived anyway. Basically, his death was a fluke. A fuckin' cosmic accident. So because he'd died unexpectedly after tryin' to do a decent thing for once in his life, Spirit World was offering him the chance to undergo this trial to be brought back to life.
The Reaper made it sound like it'd fix everything, but the guy knew better and didn't wanna do it. He said, "Y'know what? I kinda like being dead. Now my teachers won't have to nag me and my mom can get wasted whenever she wants, and I won't have to listen to any of 'em talk about what a pain in the ass I am. It's a win-win situation. You said it yourself that I was goin' nowhere fast, right?"
"Well, that's depressing as hell," said the Reaper. "How about you go to your wake and make your decision after that?"
The guy wasn't real convinced, but the Reaper buzzed off before he could argue, so he went ahead and went to his wake later that day. There was a bunch of people there. Way more people than he expected, most of 'em from his school. They were all talking and laughing, though, so he was like, "oh, great. These bastards probably all showed up just so they'd get extra credit and have somethin' to pat themselves on the back about later!" That was what he thought at first, but then, uh...
... then he saw there were people there who were actually pretty upset about him dying: the girl he'd known for forever, his mom, the principal of his school. Hell, even the ugly guy he'd beat the crap out of earlier that day was there, yelling about what a giant prick he was for leaving him with nobody to fight.
["Who am I gonna fight now? Who am I gonna fight?
You're supposed to be here... for me."
It's been a year - hell, a couple years, if you count the time he's spent in Johto - since that night, and Yusuke can still hear Kuwabara's words in his head, clear as day. It makes him think, for a second, about a more recent time when he'd had to listen to Kuwabara freak out about him dying. And then he quickly makes himself stop thinking about it, because he knows if he does, it'll put him in a weird mood, and right now, he's got shit to do.]
The little kid he'd saved was there, too. Didn't seem to realize what was goin' on, though, because after he and his mom paid their respects, he, uh -
[Yusuke lets out a rueful laugh.]
He asked his mom when the guy could hang out with him again. Said all the people at the wake musta been crying 'cause the guy was nice and they wanted to play with him too.
... It was right about then that the guy realized something. It wasn't that everybody around him thought he was a worthless pain in the ass and didn't want him around. He was just so busy bein' pissed off about all the people who did think that way that he never noticed the ones who didn't. Or he just didn't realize that some of the people who were always getting on his ass about stuff did it 'cause they gave a damn, like with his mom and his principal and the girl.
[Suddenly, Yusuke seems a touch distant.]
It was, uh...
It was a real eye opener.
[He's quiet for a moment. Then he shakes off whatever sort of melancholy it was that took hold of him and continues, coughing a bit.]
Anyway, after the wake was over, the Reaper came back and asked the guy if he'd made a decision about whether or not he wanted to do the trial. The guy thought about how sad the people he cared about were about his death, and then said, "Yeah. Sure. I'll do it."
So they went to Spirit World to meet King Enma, the god of the dead.
no subject
Yep! Cracked his skull open on the concrete and died right on impact. In fact, it happened so fast the guy didn't even know what the hell was goin' on at first. He saw his body on the ground, saw all the people standing around and gawking at him like it was some kinda screwed up free show, saw the jerks in the ambulance pick him up and stuff him into the back of their ride, but it wasn't until he sat down and tried to focus on remembering everything that'd happened up until then that finally he was like, "holy shit, I'm a frickin' ghost."
That's when things got even weirder.
Out of nowhere, this girl riding an oar showed up, and at first, the guy was freaked out. Thought she was some kind of witch. 'Cause, y'know, that's really what his day needed, was a visit from a fucking witch. But then when he asked her who the hell she was, she told him...
[Yusuke pitches his voice up and puts on a goofy accent. It sounds vaguely British.]
"Oh, no one! Just the Grim Reaper!"
[Yusuke's voice goes back to normal. For the most part, anyway, because he continues to use the "Reaper voice" whenever necessary as he progresses through the story.
You're welcome, Botan.]The guy wasn't buying it. He said, "the hell you are! Since when was the Grim Reaper a cute girl with thunderboobs and not a skeleton in big black robes?" And then she pulled a book out of her kimono and flipped through it and said, "Oh yeah, I thought you'd be kind of a dick! It says here in my stupid stalker book that you are, and also that you're loud and obnoxious and your grades suck! Golly gee, your life was pretty crappy, huh?" Because that's not creepy or bitchy at all. The guy got pissed off and told her off. Said to her, "hey, if you're gonna run your mouth so much, could you at least tell me something useful, like whether or not that kid's okay?" Then the Reaper asked him if he wanted to go see for himself, and they went to the hospital where the kid and his mom were.
The kid was fine. A little scraped up, but hell, compared to the guy, he was in great shape. Satisfied that the kid was okay, the guy told the Reaper he was ready to leave. "Take me to Hell or where ever else I'm supposed to go. I've got no regrets." And y'know what the Reaper did?
She laughed right in his frickin' face.
The guy felt like punching her out, but since she was kinda hot, he asked her what her problem was instead. "Oh, I'm not here to take you away from the living world," she said. "I'm here to give you a shot at getting your life back." See, apparently the people up in Spirit World, the place where people went after they kicked it, hadn't expected him to die that day, especially not by saving a kid 'cause he was such a scumbag. In fact, if the guy hadn't interfered, the kid woulda survived anyway. Basically, his death was a fluke. A fuckin' cosmic accident. So because he'd died unexpectedly after tryin' to do a decent thing for once in his life, Spirit World was offering him the chance to undergo this trial to be brought back to life.
The Reaper made it sound like it'd fix everything, but the guy knew better and didn't wanna do it. He said, "Y'know what? I kinda like being dead. Now my teachers won't have to nag me and my mom can get wasted whenever she wants, and I won't have to listen to any of 'em talk about what a pain in the ass I am. It's a win-win situation. You said it yourself that I was goin' nowhere fast, right?"
"Well, that's depressing as hell," said the Reaper. "How about you go to your wake and make your decision after that?"
The guy wasn't real convinced, but the Reaper buzzed off before he could argue, so he went ahead and went to his wake later that day. There was a bunch of people there. Way more people than he expected, most of 'em from his school. They were all talking and laughing, though, so he was like, "oh, great. These bastards probably all showed up just so they'd get extra credit and have somethin' to pat themselves on the back about later!" That was what he thought at first, but then, uh...
... then he saw there were people there who were actually pretty upset about him dying: the girl he'd known for forever, his mom, the principal of his school. Hell, even the ugly guy he'd beat the crap out of earlier that day was there, yelling about what a giant prick he was for leaving him with nobody to fight.
["Who am I gonna fight now? Who am I gonna fight?
You're supposed to be here... for me."
It's been a year - hell, a couple years, if you count the time he's spent in Johto - since that night, and Yusuke can still hear Kuwabara's words in his head, clear as day. It makes him think, for a second, about a more recent time when he'd had to listen to Kuwabara freak out about him dying. And then he quickly makes himself stop thinking about it, because he knows if he does, it'll put him in a weird mood, and right now, he's got shit to do.]
The little kid he'd saved was there, too. Didn't seem to realize what was goin' on, though, because after he and his mom paid their respects, he, uh -
[Yusuke lets out a rueful laugh.]
He asked his mom when the guy could hang out with him again. Said all the people at the wake musta been crying 'cause the guy was nice and they wanted to play with him too.
... It was right about then that the guy realized something. It wasn't that everybody around him thought he was a worthless pain in the ass and didn't want him around. He was just so busy bein' pissed off about all the people who did think that way that he never noticed the ones who didn't. Or he just didn't realize that some of the people who were always getting on his ass about stuff did it 'cause they gave a damn, like with his mom and his principal and the girl.
[Suddenly, Yusuke seems a touch distant.]
It was, uh...
It was a real eye opener.
[He's quiet for a moment. Then he shakes off whatever sort of melancholy it was that took hold of him and continues, coughing a bit.]
Anyway, after the wake was over, the Reaper came back and asked the guy if he'd made a decision about whether or not he wanted to do the trial. The guy thought about how sad the people he cared about were about his death, and then said, "Yeah. Sure. I'll do it."
So they went to Spirit World to meet King Enma, the god of the dead.