[No wonder they get along so well. Yusuke smiles at her.]
All right. Ahem -
[He presses his fist to his mouth and clears his throat - loudly and exaggeratedly, like he would if he was about to tell a story to a kid and was trying to get a laugh out of them. Come to think of it, this entire conversation had felt sort of like he was talking to a kid rather than a little pink dog. Maybe this wouldn't be so weird after all.]
So uh...
... once upon a time...
[He grimaces. YEAH, NO, NEVERMIND, THIS STILL FEELS WEIRD. He has no idea what the hell he's doing. Then again, he usually doesn't know what the hell he's doing, so why should he let it bug him now? He shouldn't. And he's not gonna. When in doubt, say "fuck it" and go full speed ahead! That's the Yusuke Urameshi way of dealing with things. Determined, Yusuke leans in closer to the screen and continues to speak.]
There was this guy. Right? A real jerk. Nobody liked him and almost everybody was afraid of him 'cause he had a bad attitude and got into trouble all the time. He skipped school, he smoked, he drank, he got into a lot of fights - hell, he'd never even lost a fight. He really liked fighting. Lived for it, even. It was the only thing he was really good at, and it made him feel better when he was pissed off about something, which was pretty much all the time since life wasn't goin' the way he wanted it to. Thing is, he didn't think things could change, so he didn't do anything about it. Figured that, hey, nobody else cares whether I crash and burn, so why should I? Life's just gonna continue bein' one crappy bullshit day after the other, so fuck it. It's easier just to not give a shit than it is to try doing something different and risk setting myself up to get burned.
[Yusuke pauses, seeming... a little awkward all of the sudden. Then he quickly moves on.]
So yeah. Aaanyway, one day, the guy was in a crappier mood than usual. Everybody and their cousin was getting on his case - this noisy girl he'd known since they were kids, this asshole teacher who had it in for him, the principal of his school, his mom who'd spent like the past two days partying with her circus freak friends and for some stupid reason still thought she had a right to nag him about bein' responsible when she was hungover as hell and sleeping in 'til noon. About the only person who hadn't chewed his head off about something was this butt-ugly dude who was always trying to kick his ass. He showed up with his gang to try to pick a fight with the guy like he always did, but y'know, of course the guy wiped the floor with him. By the time he was done with him, he'd smashed his face up so bad his teeth had black eyes! You think he was hideous before, well, now not even blind people'd wanna lay eyes on him.
Basically, the guy felt a lot better afterwards. Nothin' like a good knuckle-buster to make your day a little brighter.
[Yusuke looks pleased.]
Anyway, after he'd ditched the ugly dude, he kept walking. Figured since his mom didn't want him at home and his asshole teacher'd kicked him out of school, he'd go spend the rest of the day at the arcade or something.
But then he met this kid.
The kid wasn't all that old - maybe like, I dunno, four or five. He was playin' with his ball along the side of a busy street, though, so of course when the guy saw him, he told him off. He said, "what the hell, kid, are you stupid or d'you want some car to come along and splatter your brains all over the pavement?" This, uh, kinda upset the kid, so to make him feel better, the guy pulled a couple faces, like this.
[Yusuke makes faces at her. They're pretty silly. Clearly, pulling terrible faces is one of Yusuke's superpowers.]
And it worked, too. The kid was having a great time. Since the kid didn't look like he wanted to cry anymore, the guy decided to leave. Before he did, though, he gave the kid one last piece of advice. He said, "go play somewhere else, kid. It's not safe to play here, so do yourself a favor and get lost."
He thought he'd made himself pretty clear, but y'know, of course, the second the guy turned his back to cross the street, the kid started doin' the same damn thing he'd been doing before: playing ball on the side of the road like a dumbass. The guy was pissed off. Like, shit, what even was the point? If the kid's really stupid enough to continue playing on the side of the road even after he was told not to, the guy might as well've just left him alone and let him get squashed. That'd teach him not to listen to people older than him.
He was about to leave, but then he saw the kid kick his ball into the street. "Oh shit," he thought. "That kid's not gonna go after it, is he?"
He did, of course. Just walked right into the street like it was no big deal. The guy freaked out. Yelled at him to get out of the way. That's when he saw a car coming at the kid like a bat out of hell, and before he even had a chance to think about it, he ran in there, shoved him out of the way, and...
WHAM! The car hit him. The next thing he knew, he was floating in the air, looking down at his own body.
[And Yusuke pauses again, this time with the intention of giving Steve an opportunity to comment if she wants.]
no subject
All right. Ahem -
[He presses his fist to his mouth and clears his throat - loudly and exaggeratedly, like he would if he was about to tell a story to a kid and was trying to get a laugh out of them. Come to think of it, this entire conversation had felt sort of like he was talking to a kid rather than a little pink dog. Maybe this wouldn't be so weird after all.]
So uh...
... once upon a time...
[He grimaces. YEAH, NO, NEVERMIND, THIS STILL FEELS WEIRD. He has no idea what the hell he's doing. Then again, he usually doesn't know what the hell he's doing, so why should he let it bug him now? He shouldn't. And he's not gonna. When in doubt, say "fuck it" and go full speed ahead! That's the Yusuke Urameshi way of dealing with things. Determined, Yusuke leans in closer to the screen and continues to speak.]
There was this guy. Right? A real jerk. Nobody liked him and almost everybody was afraid of him 'cause he had a bad attitude and got into trouble all the time. He skipped school, he smoked, he drank, he got into a lot of fights - hell, he'd never even lost a fight. He really liked fighting. Lived for it, even. It was the only thing he was really good at, and it made him feel better when he was pissed off about something, which was pretty much all the time since life wasn't goin' the way he wanted it to. Thing is, he didn't think things could change, so he didn't do anything about it. Figured that, hey, nobody else cares whether I crash and burn, so why should I? Life's just gonna continue bein' one crappy bullshit day after the other, so fuck it. It's easier just to not give a shit than it is to try doing something different and risk setting myself up to get burned.
[Yusuke pauses, seeming... a little awkward all of the sudden. Then he quickly moves on.]
So yeah. Aaanyway, one day, the guy was in a crappier mood than usual. Everybody and their cousin was getting on his case - this noisy girl he'd known since they were kids, this asshole teacher who had it in for him, the principal of his school, his mom who'd spent like the past two days partying with her circus freak friends and for some stupid reason still thought she had a right to nag him about bein' responsible when she was hungover as hell and sleeping in 'til noon. About the only person who hadn't chewed his head off about something was this butt-ugly dude who was always trying to kick his ass. He showed up with his gang to try to pick a fight with the guy like he always did, but y'know, of course the guy wiped the floor with him. By the time he was done with him, he'd smashed his face up so bad his teeth had black eyes! You think he was hideous before, well, now not even blind people'd wanna lay eyes on him.
Basically, the guy felt a lot better afterwards. Nothin' like a good knuckle-buster to make your day a little brighter.
[Yusuke looks pleased.]
Anyway, after he'd ditched the ugly dude, he kept walking. Figured since his mom didn't want him at home and his asshole teacher'd kicked him out of school, he'd go spend the rest of the day at the arcade or something.
But then he met this kid.
The kid wasn't all that old - maybe like, I dunno, four or five. He was playin' with his ball along the side of a busy street, though, so of course when the guy saw him, he told him off. He said, "what the hell, kid, are you stupid or d'you want some car to come along and splatter your brains all over the pavement?" This, uh, kinda upset the kid, so to make him feel better, the guy pulled a couple faces, like this.
[Yusuke makes faces at her. They're pretty silly. Clearly, pulling terrible faces is one of Yusuke's superpowers.]
And it worked, too. The kid was having a great time. Since the kid didn't look like he wanted to cry anymore, the guy decided to leave. Before he did, though, he gave the kid one last piece of advice. He said, "go play somewhere else, kid. It's not safe to play here, so do yourself a favor and get lost."
He thought he'd made himself pretty clear, but y'know, of course, the second the guy turned his back to cross the street, the kid started doin' the same damn thing he'd been doing before: playing ball on the side of the road like a dumbass. The guy was pissed off. Like, shit, what even was the point? If the kid's really stupid enough to continue playing on the side of the road even after he was told not to, the guy might as well've just left him alone and let him get squashed. That'd teach him not to listen to people older than him.
He was about to leave, but then he saw the kid kick his ball into the street. "Oh shit," he thought. "That kid's not gonna go after it, is he?"
He did, of course. Just walked right into the street like it was no big deal. The guy freaked out. Yelled at him to get out of the way. That's when he saw a car coming at the kid like a bat out of hell, and before he even had a chance to think about it, he ran in there, shoved him out of the way, and...
WHAM! The car hit him. The next thing he knew, he was floating in the air, looking down at his own body.
[And Yusuke pauses again, this time with the intention of giving Steve an opportunity to comment if she wants.]