He should have known it wouldn't be that easy. He should have known that he would have to give just as much as he'd be taking. That doesn't mean the question is an easy one, though. Bro gives Blake a nod to show that he understands, before leaning back in his seat. He briefly debates ordering another drink, but this is too serious for that. He needs to keep his mind as clear as he possibly can.
The problem is? It's not an easy question. Not because he's afraid of answering, but because he doesn't know what to say. Sure, Bro is a pretty private person, but he doesn't... have that many life shattering secrets. It's not easy to shake him or to embarrass him. So he honestly doesn't know how to answer the question in a satisfactory way.
Except... Well.]
I kissed an underage clown last Christmas.
[And he's pretty sure he would've gone further if they had been alone, but... Even as he says it, it doesn't feel enough and the way he looks like he gets lost in thought again makes it pretty obvious that he's trying to think of something better.
After a few moments, his mind settles on Dave. Dave is the source of some of his biggest pain and regret. It flashes in his eye as he stares down at one of the empty shot glasses, and after a second he lets out a sigh.]
But then there's Dave. It ain't really a secret, I guess, but... I was a pretty fuckin' terrible guardian.
[He lets out a small, humorless laugh. It must be the alcohol opening him up as much as his desire for Blake to trust him, because this is not something he usually talks about. His feelings on Dave are things he keeps locked up tight inside.]
Y'know, the kind that CPS would lock you up for. But I had to be, y'know? His life depended on it. I had to make sure he was fuckin' ready for the shit life was gonna throw at him. It was out of necessity, not desire.
[The regret is there in his voice. It's obvious he's telling the truth and that he's thought about this a lot. The things he's saying now, they're not so much secrets as just... His feelings. Which are secrets in themselves, but probably not the kind that Blake expected.]
The life he has here is better than anything I ever gave him, and he made it himself. [He pauses for a few moments, and finally gives in to that desire for another drink, waving for another one and downing it the moment he gets it. The burn of the alcohol is cathartic, and he can't meet Blake's eye anymore. Talking about all of this, it's really tearing him up on the inside. Just like it always does when he thinks about this kind of shit.] So there's your secret. I ain't worth jack shit as a parent.
[Action]
He should have known it wouldn't be that easy. He should have known that he would have to give just as much as he'd be taking. That doesn't mean the question is an easy one, though. Bro gives Blake a nod to show that he understands, before leaning back in his seat. He briefly debates ordering another drink, but this is too serious for that. He needs to keep his mind as clear as he possibly can.
The problem is? It's not an easy question. Not because he's afraid of answering, but because he doesn't know what to say. Sure, Bro is a pretty private person, but he doesn't... have that many life shattering secrets. It's not easy to shake him or to embarrass him. So he honestly doesn't know how to answer the question in a satisfactory way.
Except... Well.]
I kissed an underage clown last Christmas.
[And he's pretty sure he would've gone further if they had been alone, but... Even as he says it, it doesn't feel enough and the way he looks like he gets lost in thought again makes it pretty obvious that he's trying to think of something better.
After a few moments, his mind settles on Dave. Dave is the source of some of his biggest pain and regret. It flashes in his eye as he stares down at one of the empty shot glasses, and after a second he lets out a sigh.]
But then there's Dave. It ain't really a secret, I guess, but... I was a pretty fuckin' terrible guardian.
[He lets out a small, humorless laugh. It must be the alcohol opening him up as much as his desire for Blake to trust him, because this is not something he usually talks about. His feelings on Dave are things he keeps locked up tight inside.]
Y'know, the kind that CPS would lock you up for. But I had to be, y'know? His life depended on it. I had to make sure he was fuckin' ready for the shit life was gonna throw at him. It was out of necessity, not desire.
[The regret is there in his voice. It's obvious he's telling the truth and that he's thought about this a lot. The things he's saying now, they're not so much secrets as just... His feelings. Which are secrets in themselves, but probably not the kind that Blake expected.]
The life he has here is better than anything I ever gave him, and he made it himself. [He pauses for a few moments, and finally gives in to that desire for another drink, waving for another one and downing it the moment he gets it. The burn of the alcohol is cathartic, and he can't meet Blake's eye anymore. Talking about all of this, it's really tearing him up on the inside. Just like it always does when he thinks about this kind of shit.] So there's your secret. I ain't worth jack shit as a parent.