lieutenantantichrist | [10] Video/Action for Goldenrod - "Because You're Crackheads, Children."

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[10] Video/Action for Goldenrod - "Because You're Crackheads, Children."

[ACTION]

[Something streaks across the skies above Goldenrod. It jags back and forth, gaining and dropping altitude in sudden swoops. It nearly smacks into the top of a building but lurches to the side just in time.]

[Anybody with very good eyesight might be able to make out that it's a Crobat, with Blake clinging desperately to its back.]

[Anybody with very good hearing might be able to make out]

fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKfuckfuckfuck...

[He's hanging on for his life as four wings flap around him and his stomach does a great impression of a bunch of furious weasels in a burlap bag. In a rare second of flying straight, as they pass over a street, Blake spots some blond hair.]

[It can't be...no, those damn stupid glasses are unmistakable.]

[Blake's eyes light up with determination.]

[If there's one thing that can cut through terror for life and limb, it's the prospect of petty revenge.]

Down![He shoves at the bat's shoulder, making it lurch. Ray Liotta is still getting the hang of flying with the extra weight and noise.] Down, goddammit!

[The bat swoops almost to the ground, giving Blake a chance to see the storefronts woosh by and really understand how fucking fast they are going, but he has something he need to do.]

[He yells] Hey asshole!

[Then he goes to punch him in the head.]

[VIDEO]

[The feed comes up on Blake sitting in Goldenrod's bar. He's a little out of breath. There's a few scratches on his face to go with the leaves on his shirt and the twigs in his hair.]

[He orders a shot of whiskey for him and one for the Crobat that's balanced on two stools next to him.]

[Blake drinks his in a gulp, and lets his hand fall heavily to the bar.]

[He looks to the Gear. His eyes are showing a little too much white and a touch of a leftover manic gleam. His lips twitch up.]

So I just flew on a bat.

What's the dumbest thing you've ever done?

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[Blake tends to fall into one of two kinds of drunk; the laid-back, laughing kind, or the mellow, thoughtful kind. He uses up all his mean drunk sober. Right now, he's had enough that things are all right, he's feeling no pain.]

[It doesn't hurt to have his manly skills of punching people acknowledged, either. He puffs up a little.] I can't let anybody go around fucking with me, you know? It doesn't look right.

[It's not real bright in here. He squints at Bro's eyes.] Those colored contacts, is that the style or something around here? I know this one kid,[he gestures toward his eyes] bright red. Like fuckin' Christmas lights. Not one of those idiot teenagers who thinks he's a vampire or something, either, a kid with his head on straight.

[They even stayed in when he cried, but Blake's not gonna go around telling anybody that happened.]

Hell no. Fuckin' hate assholes in sunglasses.

[Blake waves his glass toward Bro.] Huh, whaddya know. So you can do expressions besides 'jagoff smirk.'

[He takes a sip and rolls it around in his mouth for a while.]

What's your real name, anyway?

[Bro goes to shake his head in response to the question, feeling self conscious about it because he's now expecting Blake to make some sort of comment about them, but then the other continues, and his eyebrows shoot up. It sounds like he's talking about... Dave? Who else could he be talking about with red eyes? As far as he knew, there was nobody around like that.]

You mean Dave?

[It never occurred to him that Blake might not know they're related. It's not exactly something everyone knows, after all.]

Anyway, nah, they're not contacts. They're real.

[Bro rolls his eyes slightly and doesn't deign a response to the smirk comment. It's at the question that he falls a bit silent and takes another drink of beer. He guesses, all things considers, he doesn't mind telling Blake. It might earn him brownie points or something.]

If I tell you, I'll have to kill you. [He lets out a small laugh, his lips curled up into something like a small smile, proving Blake's point about the 'jagoff smirk'. He certainly could do more than that.] Dirk.

Nah, some Japanese kid. Ishymarroo. I've only ever seen that Dave kid wearing those pointy sunglasses...kinda like yours, actually.

[That's some fine police work there, Carter.]

You screwin' with me?

[He looks serious. Blake looks at him for a minute, then shrugs.]

Eh, it's less crazy than getting smacked by a frog.

[Blake's eyebrows arch.] Dirk, that's it? That's your big secret? I'm not gettin' killed for Dirk. That's nothing. I was expecting Eugene or something. Francis, at least.

[He's gonna real naturally not look at his mouth too much.]

Um, if we're talking about dumb things I've done here, it's not checking the weather report before travelling. Me and my friends were stuck out in the wilderness in the rain for almost a week as a result.

Sounds like a lousy idea. I wouldn't trust stepping stones made out of anybody who eats heads.

Nah. It's a great shirt. That girl couldn't curse anything, anyway. Worst she can do is be prissy at you.

[So, never, then. Or until he gets a less stupid haircut.]

[You wanna talk adolescent male egos, Blake's has survived hale and hearty well into his forties.]

Damn right I am. He's done flying for today, and he earned it.

[He scoffs] Nobody's be dumb enough to try to ride one of those. [and reconsiders] Except maybe the idiot who was trying to wrestle one.

[He strokes his beard.] Yeah, I know you're jealous. Don't worry, puberty's gotta come around one of these days.

[He pauses and looks disturbed. Something is bothering him.]

Wait a minute. Are you telling me you don't know Ray Liotta?

You've never seen fucking Goodfellas?

[As amused and bizarrely flattered as Yusuke is by Blake more or less telling him that he doesn't think he's stupid enough to fly around on a dinosaur, he's a little too shameless to allow him to continue living under that misconception, hence why he's so ready to refute that statement by casually informing him that he'd peddled a bike down a busy highway just hours before arriving in Johto. He's stopped short by the mention of a dinosaur-wrestling idiot, though, and actually looks sort of surprised by it. Wait a sec, is he talking about...?

Huh. Well, Jin did put that whole thing on the network. Still, Yusuke figures he ought to make sure they're talking about the same dude before he goes claiming that this person's his friend. Better safe than accidentally affiliated with some stranger.]

Was this idiot a tall red-headed guy with a stupid accent?

[Surely there isn't more than one dude around here who's wrestled a dinosaur, right? 'cause if there is, Yusuke's got some serious networking to do. He and Jin could use more people to do crazy shit with.

As for that "puberty" comment, Yusuke doesn't know what it is about it that grates on him more: the implication that he isn't already going through puberty, or how it serves as a harsh reminder that he can't grow a mustache yet (not that he'd want to, mind you - it'd just be nice to at least have the option). Either way, he's got a pretty sharp retort prepared, but once again, Blake cuts him off before he even gets a chance to open his mouth. Yusuke scowls. Dammit, and it was gonna be such a good one, too! Well, whatever. He'll just have to save it for the next time Blake gives him crap about his inability to grow facial hair. He's got a feeling he hasn't heard the end of it just yet.]

Uhhh, no. We had this conversation last time, didn't we? About how I don't watch a lot of American movies? Don't tell me you're goin' senile on me.

Hell no. I've seen those idiots get scraped off the sidewalk. It's uglier than what I see in homicide.

That's what you always check things out before traveling, when it means walking for a week.

[Says the guy who sure as hell hasn't been caught in every kind of stupid weather this place can come up with.]

A downpour like that'd put your firehorse out.

[The brat gives him a look like that sounds familiar. Blake's surprised at the immediate, accurate description.]

Yeah. Some dumbass who sounds like a leprechaun. He a friend of yours?

[He's a fellow reckless pain in the ass, so Blake's assuming yes.]

[Blake, on the other hand, was one of those kids who had a mustache by the time he was twelve. He smirks at the look on the brat's face.]

[Oh, shit, he had, hadn't he? He's gotta start keeping a list of the things he's given the kid crap for so he doesn't repeat any.]

Doesn't matter, it's fuckin' Goodfellas, kid! Never heard of Ray Liotta, that's like not knowing Marlon Brando. Christ, what kinda barren cultural wasteland is China?

That's the idiots, though. Or the extremely unlucky, but they're usually unlucky because of other idiots.

No? Why would I play with Legos? I built my first engine when I was six. I think you're really not getting how much of a genius I am here.

Also, I never had to steal playboys, I just made people buy me them, until going to the manson myself for my one of my 18th parties.

[He shrugs casually.]

I used to be kind of rich before coming here, remember?

[Yep, that's Jin all right! Yusuke nods, his lip curling. Now that he knows for sure that Blake's talking about Jin, the name-calling kind of bothers him (on Blake's end, of course, not his own - look, it's one thing if you make fun of your friend, it's another if someone else does it). He doesn't chew Blake out for it just yet, though - instead, he tells him:]

Yeah, from home. [And then, a bit wryly, he adds:] He's fine, by the way. Wasn't even in the hospital for very long.

[He doesn't suppose Blake cares, but eh, whatever. Yusuke doesn't much care if Blake doesn't care. It's like Inception, except instead of dreams within dreams, it's, uh, zero shits within zero shits. ... yeah.

... just roll with it, okay?

Meanwhile, Blake's display of cultural sensitivity there was truly astonishing. So astonishing, in fact, that it earns him one hell of a glare. If looks could kill, Blake would probably be dead.]

Hey, good question! Why don't you try asking somebody who's actually from China, y'friggin' moron? Seriously, the way dumbasses like you run their mouth without actually knowin' what they're talking about, it's no wonder people always say Americans are stupid as hell.

[First Vietnamese, now Chinese. Which nationality/ethnicity are you gonna mistake him for next, Blake? >:(]

Edited 2013-10-10 01:37 (UTC)

Or because those things are deathtraps.

[Blake thinks for a second.]

Hey. You never answered the question.

What, the one about the potions? ...I did try months ago, actually. Nasty fall from one of those ledges.

[Twice. Within five minutes.]

Oh.

[He settles down a little at that, taking a drink of beer and almost wishing it were stronger- actually, he does wish it were stronger. He waves to the bartender and asks for a shot of the strongest shit they have, and a minute or two later he's got it sitting in front of him, though he doesn't down it just yet.]

Yeah, 'm serious. D'you wanna touch 'em and find out? Maybe get a closer look? Not sure how else to convince you.

[He sounds a little defensive, but for the most part he's not taking it too seriously. Blake's already proven he's not actually making fun of him, so he's relaxed considerably.]

Oh come on, whose name is Dirk? It sounds like someone's grandpa. I'm too fuckin' young to be a grandpa!

You give him your extra pair or something? Or is it a style going around?

[His eyes follow the new drink with approval.] You don't pussy around.

Hell, weird-colored eyes is small potatoes by now. Just don't go saying you're an alien and I got no problem.

[He leans back, one arm draping over the back of the booth.]

Besides, I already punched you. Poking you in the eyes'd be overkill.

[He does a half-shrug with one hand turned up.] Nah. Dirk sounds more like somebody outta Raymond Chandler. That's not so bad as names go.

I'm getting a good idea of how fulla shit you are.

[He's run into plenty of people who make up the stupidest crap and act like you're the unreasonable one for not believing it.]

You were a magic rich genius boy. Sure. Did you have a pony, too?

Those damn things are a menace. I don't know why people go near them.

[Blake only fell off one once. And then again a couple times.]

I mean the dumbest thing you ever did. Anybody from space must have a lot to choose from.

[You don't want your friends getting called names, stop making friends with spastic leprechauns.]

He even went to the hospital? He was fine enough to brag about wrestling the thing.

[He hadn't looked near as hurt as anybody who got in a fight with a pterodactyl should have been.]

[Blake has gotten some champion stinkeyes in his time. ~~Yusuke's is up there with the best.~~]

[He throws his hands up] Fine, Asia, what's the difference? How the hell am I supposed to know?

[Ah, yes, that question. He's done a lot of very stupid things, some of them harder to admit than others...]

...I once used untested equipment that was known to potentially cause health issues. In a combat situation.

[...But that one is generic and impersonal enough to serve.]

That's it?

[Blake scoffs]

C'mon, you gotta have something better. That's up there with not buckling your seatbelt.

One of those potential health issues was permanent damage in certain parts of the human brain. I knew about that fact.

[He was a really stupid teenager, sometimes.]

[Blake's face screws up in confusion] What were you doing, huffing space glue?

I learned that the hard way and my Arcanine wasn't very happy to be out in the rain for so long. I won't make that kind of mistake again anytime soon.

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[10] Video/Action for Goldenrod - "Because You're Crackheads, Children."

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