lieutenantantichrist | [5]Video/Action for Violet City

[The feed comes up on Blake outside the Violet City gym. He's holding the Gear in one hand and tossing something small in the other. Behind him his Snubbull is sitting on his Mareep, both looking proud of themselves. For his part, Blake doesn't look so thrilled.]

Hell of a loaded word, "badge."

[He catches it on the toss and holds it up to the camera.]

Look at that. Does it looks like much use to you?

[He sighs and slips it in his pocket.]

Zap the crap out of a kid's birds and get a medal that lets you fly.

You know what the worst part is? It's not until right now I realized there's anything wrong with that. I'm getting used to it.

[He starts walking aimlessly down the street, Pokemon trotting after him.]

It's baseball season, not that you'd know it here. Can't remember the last time I missed Opening Day. But hell, now it's been more than a month. Just went right by. How's it even May if you're not arresting drunk idiots on Cinco de Mayo? It's not right.

[Blake looks troubled.]

It's too easy to get caught up in this animal fighting crap and forget about the real world.

[His expression shifts toward its more familiar flinty pugnacity.]

Almost everybody here's been here longer than me. Give me some proof you haven't forgotten. Tell me something about home. Anything, I don't know, something you miss.

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[Yeah, the recession. Right.

There should be a Johto team called the Fighting Snubbulls. If there's not, someone needs to start one.]

Honestly, I'll take fire-breathing dogs over the walking dead any day.

There's not a lot of other things here, that's probably why. [ he's not interested in battling or training either beyond keeping his team healthy and happy. ]

Ah...I think it's probably just hard to keep trying after a while, some people have been here very long. [ or they just never knew how to help to begin with, like him. he's a high school student, not a hero of a fantasy novel. ]

That's weird.

When you say she's good does that mean that she beats you a lot?

Probably goes by how light or dark they are.

Hey, I didn't say that.

[He didn't not say it, either.]

[Damn right there should be. The little things are tough.]

Pain in the ass, but once you get used to how to deal with...

[Carter trails off as the rest of the sentence sinks in.]

What.

Got to liven it up there. They have this meat thing, not entirely sure where it comes from, don't really plan on asking, but I like it.

Uh, I flew up there.

No, she isn't. She's kind of all I have back home.

[Nope. He is a one-way venue for yelling.]

[A kid calling him by first name like he's the reasonable adult rankles Blake further.]

[He's throwing his arms out, gesturing more and more violently.]

That's a real practical, believable plan coming from a guy who's getting little kids to fucking kill other.

And you're not dead! You're right there!

Shit, that happened? Nice little threat there. "Merry Christmas, here's a bat egg. We're watching."

[Maybe the cameras are attached to the omnipresent music.]

Well work on that. It's the only good part of sci-fi.

Worse. "Here's a sparkly, unnaturally colored/i> bat egg." No one can explain that either, except to say that we're supposed to want them more.

[Though at least that part seems relatively harmless.]

It might take a while. The best we have right now is women with fake tans.

Didn't you have to teach her how to play? She's a really smart dog.

[Wait for it. Wait for iiiiit.

And there we go. Lee gives a wry smile.]

I wish the worst we had to worry about was some dumb recession. Shit like that feels pretty meaningless after the whole world goes to hell, hold the handbasket.

I'd say that's cannibalism, but who knows what's in hot dogs here. Probably pigeons, or those rats that're everywhere.

[He stared up at him, fingers twitching a little before he clasped them together. He didn't have anything to fear from this man and overt defensive reactions would not help.]

Younger people aren't sent to the front lines, they have missions, but combat is only a risk,not a certainty on those.

And I'm not even going to get into my living situation okay? One topic at a time thanks.

Ew.

Probably not.

The Jennies show up to kick your ass if you so much as LOOK at a wild Pokemon wrong, I doubt there'd be any kinda Soylent Poke going on with the food. Or at least not with the rats. EW.

_{[Heather do you have any idea how gross real hot dogs are anyway?]}

I don't know what that is, but they probably do.

Yeah, what animal can use what doesn't make a damn lick of sense.

[Blake feels insulted, and has a surge of patriotism] There's nothing wrong with using feet and inches and pounds like normal people. It's everybody else who's weird. Shoot me in the head the minute I care what a hectare is.

One of a what?

[He sighs in relief.] Good to know physics gets that least little piece of respect.

It's supposed to! How can you understand something that doesn't make sense? They're attached.

[He veers off before this gets too philosophical.]

Dreams, that's just stupid bullshit your brain tells itself when you're not paying attention. Animals aren't supposed to give a damn about them, except the ones about chasing rabbits that make dogs' paws twitch. That thing doesn't even have paws. Just little stumpy things.

If that one's less creepy, I don't want to see the others.

[Part of him really, really wants to just ignore that and let Blake keep on believing what he wants to. But part of him also can't lie to a cop that's just wrong.]

Err...about that. See, I wasn't kidnapped but my Earth did go through the apocalypse. Meteors wiped everything out. And I may not be an alien myself but... ok, I am not sure which ones you may have spoken to, but if it was one of the trolls they are from my world. Not the same planet, or even the same universe but I do know them. And they really are aliens.

[He's just waiting for the crazy comment. He's fairly certain he just committed conversational suicide but he's going to try and keep it going in spite of this.]

But um...tell me more about your days as a cop? I mean...what exactly did you do? Because there are a bunch of different things a member of the forcce can do, right? Like were you a detective or...

Good to know the cops around here do something besides toss people in jail for not putting in their two weeks' notice.

[can't help messing with her a little] Hey, purple rats are better than some of the other stuff that goes into real world hot dogs. You ever read the label?

[Yeah that's definitely the gonna flip the fuck out and stab people kind of crazy. If she hasn't already.]

[Blake squints at the screen] Lady, I sure as hell hope you got that out of a Crackerjack box.

[There are lots of things you give to people who talk about stabbing evil ghosts with their soulsword, but a badge is not one of them.]

It means I wish I had the resources to keep surveillance on you in case one day you murder people for stepping on a cockroach.

It was easier than you'd think. She picks up on stuff fast.

Yeah, she is. You should try playing her.

Hell if I know, but I haven't kept any on a leash and none of them've taken off yet. I figure they like the fighting. Or maybe it's just my winning personality.

[He does kind of wonder sometimes.]

Drunk frogs. That sounds even better.

You know, you and Twilight might have gotten along well, when we first got to know her. There was a lot she didn't believe in at first, either. Pinkie's pinkie sense especially, but also the magic of friendship as a whole. And now it's her specialty!

You, however, I just simply cannot understand. Do you suppose we're all lying? Or that we've all collectively had the same hallucination?

What? Beef, pork, chicken, some carcinogens probably...

Not rats.

_{[HEATHER GO READ "THE JUNGLE"]}

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