Lt. Carter Blake (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
lieutenantantichrist) wrote2013-02-04 02:35 pm
lieutenantantichrist) wrote2013-02-04 02:35 pm
IC Contact
"Carter Blake. What do you want?"
"Carter Blake. What do you want?"
[He's giving every warning he can to tell Yusuke to back off.
It's almost surprising when he does.
Blake lets out a long exhalation that doesn't do much to release the tension in his bones. He can still feel the thing behind him, and its rattling breath on his neck.
Fuck, he feels old.
That's all his voice sounds like, as he falls back from the brink of something ugly. Old and tired.] Look, just forget it. Don't grill the kid about it, either. It's all dead and buried.
[He thinks that's going to be the end of it, when Yusuke says those two words that mean something important is coming: It's just.
All he says is a perfectly reasonable consideration, things that would occur to anybody who cares about the kid and that they'd want to know about. All honest, with the kind of straightforward willingness to admit he gives a damn that a teenager like Yusuke almost never shows.
Every single word hits Blake like an accusation.
Rapidfire, he bites out,] Nobody could've changed it, goddammit! It wasn't my fault!
It's almost surprising when he does.
Blake lets out a long exhalation that doesn't do much to release the tension in his bones. He can still feel the thing behind him, and its rattling breath on his neck.
Fuck, he feels old.
That's all his voice sounds like, as he falls back from the brink of something ugly. Old and tired.] Look, just forget it. Don't grill the kid about it, either. It's all dead and buried.
[He thinks that's going to be the end of it, when Yusuke says those two words that mean something important is coming: It's just.
All he says is a perfectly reasonable consideration, things that would occur to anybody who cares about the kid and that they'd want to know about. All honest, with the kind of straightforward willingness to admit he gives a damn that a teenager like Yusuke almost never shows.
Every single word hits Blake like an accusation.
Rapidfire, he bites out,] Nobody could've changed it, goddammit! It wasn't my fault!
Edited 2015-01-25 12:09 (UTC)
[Yusuke's about to resign himself to that heavy feeling of exhaustion from before when suddenly, Blake says something so strange it jars his senses: "It wasn't my fault!"
...
What?
At first, Yusuke is so startled he doesn't know what to say. He opens his mouth. Closes it. Then, looking more and more baffled by the second, he says:]
Uh... yeah, I - didn't say it was.
[What the hell? Yusuke stares at Blake, searching. Where did that come from? He takes a second to go over everything he'd just told Blake in his head, and feels unsettled and confused when he eventually concludes that nothing he'd said could reasonably be construed as accusatory. He doesn't understand why Blake said that. "It wasn't my fault"... well, yeah, duh. Of course it wasn't Blake's fault. He was trying to save Shaun back when it happened, wasn't he?
Wasn't he?]
...
What?
At first, Yusuke is so startled he doesn't know what to say. He opens his mouth. Closes it. Then, looking more and more baffled by the second, he says:]
Uh... yeah, I - didn't say it was.
[What the hell? Yusuke stares at Blake, searching. Where did that come from? He takes a second to go over everything he'd just told Blake in his head, and feels unsettled and confused when he eventually concludes that nothing he'd said could reasonably be construed as accusatory. He doesn't understand why Blake said that. "It wasn't my fault"... well, yeah, duh. Of course it wasn't Blake's fault. He was trying to save Shaun back when it happened, wasn't he?
Wasn't he?]
Edited 2015-01-26 00:17 (UTC)
[Oh, he didn't say it, but Blake can see it. It's in his eyes. Like all the know-it-all holier-than-thou bastards who stood around after the fact and you could always, always see them asking.
Why didn't you stop him, Lieutenant?
His hand is gripping the tabletop, putting white into well-used knuckles.
His voice grates like rocks grinding against one another.] It shouldn't have been him. So leave me the fuck alone.
[It echoes in the silent room. All the animals are put away and he's alone, locked in by the snow.]
Why didn't you stop him, Lieutenant?
His hand is gripping the tabletop, putting white into well-used knuckles.
His voice grates like rocks grinding against one another.] It shouldn't have been him. So leave me the fuck alone.
[It echoes in the silent room. All the animals are put away and he's alone, locked in by the snow.]
[... well, that - did absolutely nothing to make this conversation any less weird. Yusuke's brow knits as he watches Blake, his confusion mounting. Shit, he knows he overstepped some boundaries when he suddenly came at Blake with all those questions, but that doesn't explain anything the old man's been saying for the past couple minutes. He knows Blake wants him to go away, but he doesn't make any move to turn his 'Gear off. You don't leave people when they're acting like this.]
Hey, whoa. C'mon, old man, what's--
[What's with you? is what he's about to ask. But then the memory of that day outside the lighthouse slams back into his mind's eye, sharp and forceful enough that it takes the air out of his lungs and makes him flinch like he'd been physically struck, and suddenly, he goes very, very still.
He remembers that day clearly, even now. The heat from the sun beating down on the back of his neck. The smell of the ocean in the air. And Shaun, curled up into a ball on the bench next to him, mumbling into his knees in a voice almost too quiet to be heard.
"He was dressed as a police officer."
Yusuke's stomach drops. His expression drops with it. His face is ashen as he stares at Blake with a look that can only be described as stark horror.]
No way...
[Yusuke's voice is trembling. He feels sick. Holy shit, all this time...]
Hey, whoa. C'mon, old man, what's--
[What's with you? is what he's about to ask. But then the memory of that day outside the lighthouse slams back into his mind's eye, sharp and forceful enough that it takes the air out of his lungs and makes him flinch like he'd been physically struck, and suddenly, he goes very, very still.
He remembers that day clearly, even now. The heat from the sun beating down on the back of his neck. The smell of the ocean in the air. And Shaun, curled up into a ball on the bench next to him, mumbling into his knees in a voice almost too quiet to be heard.
"He was dressed as a police officer."
Yusuke's stomach drops. His expression drops with it. His face is ashen as he stares at Blake with a look that can only be described as stark horror.]
No way...
[Yusuke's voice is trembling. He feels sick. Holy shit, all this time...]
[Blake's about to jab the button that turns the phone off. There's nothing more to say. It was a mistake to talk about it at all. When you're dealt a hand like this, you never show anybody else the cards. Some things are better off left in the past, in the other world where they belong.
Then, visible even in the little square of the screen, something comes over the kid's face that makes his stomach turn.]
Wait. Christ.
[He's been around Shaun a lot. There's no telling...
His hand closes around the phone and brings it up near the urgent, sharp look on his face.]
What did he tell you?
Then, visible even in the little square of the screen, something comes over the kid's face that makes his stomach turn.]
Wait. Christ.
[He's been around Shaun a lot. There's no telling...
His hand closes around the phone and brings it up near the urgent, sharp look on his face.]
What did he tell you?
[Yusuke's head is spinning. He grits his teeth like that'll make it stop and glares at Blake with a look that could curdle milk, a surge of hot fury searing through him. Of course. It all makes sense now. The way Blake had reacted when he asked him about the kidnapper, all the weird stuff he's been saying, his fucking secret--
("I did a bad thing, kid, and I'm out of excuses.")
--and fuck, fuck, he can't believe he felt bad for him, he can't believe he talked to him and tried to help him and let him make him think he was someone he could trust. Blake had said that whatever it was he'd done had involved a kid, and when Yusuke focuses on the facts and not on how utterly furious and disgusted and betrayed he feels, he realizes, with a bitter feeling in his chest, that only an idiot would've taken this long to figure out which kid he was talking about.
There's no time to kick himself for it though, because now Blake's asking him what Shaun told him with a look on his face like he knows he's screwed, and you know what, Yusuke might be an idiot, but he's an idiot who just found all the answers he'd been looking for when he'd called Blake, and if Blake thinks he'll be able to squirrel away from him now, he's got another fucking thing coming.]
Something about the man who kidnapped him.
[Yusuke's voice is low and cold. He looks Blake right in the eye and tells him:]
He said the guy was dressed like a cop.
("I did a bad thing, kid, and I'm out of excuses.")
--and fuck, fuck, he can't believe he felt bad for him, he can't believe he talked to him and tried to help him and let him make him think he was someone he could trust. Blake had said that whatever it was he'd done had involved a kid, and when Yusuke focuses on the facts and not on how utterly furious and disgusted and betrayed he feels, he realizes, with a bitter feeling in his chest, that only an idiot would've taken this long to figure out which kid he was talking about.
There's no time to kick himself for it though, because now Blake's asking him what Shaun told him with a look on his face like he knows he's screwed, and you know what, Yusuke might be an idiot, but he's an idiot who just found all the answers he'd been looking for when he'd called Blake, and if Blake thinks he'll be able to squirrel away from him now, he's got another fucking thing coming.]
Something about the man who kidnapped him.
[Yusuke's voice is low and cold. He looks Blake right in the eye and tells him:]
He said the guy was dressed like a cop.
That's right.
[It's exactly what Blake was afraid of.
You live with your failure every day. It's an old friend by your shoulder, always waiting for you to turn and catch a glimpse at one of those moments when you think you're okay. It's a knife that's been used a thousand times.
Having it jabbed at him one more time shouldn't hurt fresh.
Blake's gotten plenty of looks full of hatred and revulsion in his time, too. From hookers, drug dealers, drunks trying to heave bricks through car windows, all walks of life. Scumbags sneering at him like he was the wife-beating lowlife. The unfairness of it always made his blood boil.
He doesn't have that to protect him now.
Yusuke knows.
Behind him something drips, like the shambling, wheezing creature from a nightmare a long, long time ago. It's the faucet.
That stare is the sort of bone-deep hatred only a kid is capable of. Blake recognizes it. Yusuke's older and from the wrong side of the world, but for a second in this light, he looks like Shaun.
For all the punk pain in the ass the kid is, there's something strong and good in him, you can't help but see it. That part is exactly what's standing there and despising Blake for how he'd failed.
Blake rubs his eyes with his thumb and forefinger. God, he's tired.]
Nobody ever could've seen it coming. It was against all the evidence...even fucking common sense.
[What a weak, pathetic voice.
He looks at the screen, hollow-eyed.]
I fucked up, all right?
[It's exactly what Blake was afraid of.
You live with your failure every day. It's an old friend by your shoulder, always waiting for you to turn and catch a glimpse at one of those moments when you think you're okay. It's a knife that's been used a thousand times.
Having it jabbed at him one more time shouldn't hurt fresh.
Blake's gotten plenty of looks full of hatred and revulsion in his time, too. From hookers, drug dealers, drunks trying to heave bricks through car windows, all walks of life. Scumbags sneering at him like he was the wife-beating lowlife. The unfairness of it always made his blood boil.
He doesn't have that to protect him now.
Yusuke knows.
Behind him something drips, like the shambling, wheezing creature from a nightmare a long, long time ago. It's the faucet.
That stare is the sort of bone-deep hatred only a kid is capable of. Blake recognizes it. Yusuke's older and from the wrong side of the world, but for a second in this light, he looks like Shaun.
For all the punk pain in the ass the kid is, there's something strong and good in him, you can't help but see it. That part is exactly what's standing there and despising Blake for how he'd failed.
Blake rubs his eyes with his thumb and forefinger. God, he's tired.]
Nobody ever could've seen it coming. It was against all the evidence...even fucking common sense.
[What a weak, pathetic voice.
He looks at the screen, hollow-eyed.]
I fucked up, all right?
[Yusuke half-expects the old man to just up and deny everything. Maybe say something like "look, I can explain" and feed him a bunch of bullshit excuses.
When what he gets instead is honesty, his expression spasms. It takes more effort than he'd like to twist it back into the same ugly glare he'd been wearing before. He feels like he ought to feel relieved that Blake spared him the crap, but instead, the frankness of the old man's words sting like a blow to the face. Fuck, he's so angry, so angry that he let himself get tricked into thinking this son of a bitch was his friend, but he can't think about that right now. After all, this isn't about him.]
You think saying that's enough to make it better?
[His lip curls. The hand at his side curls too, into a tight fist he wishes he could use to beat Blake into the dirt. His stomach hurts. He doesn't realize he's shaking.]
You bastard. How the hell could you do that to a kid?
When what he gets instead is honesty, his expression spasms. It takes more effort than he'd like to twist it back into the same ugly glare he'd been wearing before. He feels like he ought to feel relieved that Blake spared him the crap, but instead, the frankness of the old man's words sting like a blow to the face. Fuck, he's so angry, so angry that he let himself get tricked into thinking this son of a bitch was his friend, but he can't think about that right now. After all, this isn't about him.]
You think saying that's enough to make it better?
[His lip curls. The hand at his side curls too, into a tight fist he wishes he could use to beat Blake into the dirt. His stomach hurts. He doesn't realize he's shaking.]
You bastard. How the hell could you do that to a kid?
[Pain flashes over his face, worse because the kid's not wrong.]
I didn't do anything.
[Yeah Carter, that's the problem, he hears Jayden jeer in his head.
He grabs the phone and looks at Yusuke with desperation in his eye, as though this kid can absolve him.] You think there was ever a second I didn't spend trying to get the kid out of there?
[His hand rakes through his hair, and there's few things in the world as well-worn as his excuses.]
I couldn't stop him. I couldn't've known.
I didn't do anything.
[Yeah Carter, that's the problem, he hears Jayden jeer in his head.
He grabs the phone and looks at Yusuke with desperation in his eye, as though this kid can absolve him.] You think there was ever a second I didn't spend trying to get the kid out of there?
[His hand rakes through his hair, and there's few things in the world as well-worn as his excuses.]
I couldn't stop him. I couldn't've known.
Shut UP!
[Yusuke's voice rips through the air as something inside of him suddenly snaps like a rubber band. He's screaming now, glowering into the screen with a wild look in his eyes. His muscles are sore and his feet ache from all those hours he spent venting his spleen on that punching bag, but the sheer amount of adrenaline and rage coursing through him right now makes the discomfort feel distant, inconsequential compared to the way every nerve in his entire body is buzzing.]
You know, if there's one thing I hate about guys like you, it's how you always act like you're the victim when you know damn well the only victims here are the people you decided to mess with! Don't lie to me, you sick son of a bitch. You knew exactly what you were doing, and if you think it makes any difference to me whether you had second thoughts or feel bad about it now, you're dead wrong!
[He should've known, he should've fucking known Blake would pull something like this. Behind him, something makes a small noise and brushes against his elbow. He wrenches his arm away, not even having to look to know that it's Puu coming to try to calm him down. Sorry, buddy. Now isn't the time.]
[Yusuke's voice rips through the air as something inside of him suddenly snaps like a rubber band. He's screaming now, glowering into the screen with a wild look in his eyes. His muscles are sore and his feet ache from all those hours he spent venting his spleen on that punching bag, but the sheer amount of adrenaline and rage coursing through him right now makes the discomfort feel distant, inconsequential compared to the way every nerve in his entire body is buzzing.]
You know, if there's one thing I hate about guys like you, it's how you always act like you're the victim when you know damn well the only victims here are the people you decided to mess with! Don't lie to me, you sick son of a bitch. You knew exactly what you were doing, and if you think it makes any difference to me whether you had second thoughts or feel bad about it now, you're dead wrong!
[He should've known, he should've fucking known Blake would pull something like this. Behind him, something makes a small noise and brushes against his elbow. He wrenches his arm away, not even having to look to know that it's Puu coming to try to calm him down. Sorry, buddy. Now isn't the time.]
[The little bastard never really had to ask. He knows everything.
In the interrogation room, Mars hadn't even claimed he was innocent. He had never looked mad or afraid, just dazed and tired. Some people have guilt written all over their face. You know it when you see it, like art.
He liked the ache in his knuckles, and the satisfaction of being the one willing to make the hard choices and do the right thing.
He thought he knew Yusuke, thought he was building some kind of grudging respect despite it all. And here he is, calling him a son of a bitch. And he's not wrong.
Like the kid said. Sorry doesn't bring his dad back.
His voice grates like a chunk of metal dragged over concrete.]
There's decisions you only have a split second to make. Ones lives depend on. Everybody else has all the time in the world to say why you were wrong. Then you live with it.
I did what I thought I had to do.
In the interrogation room, Mars hadn't even claimed he was innocent. He had never looked mad or afraid, just dazed and tired. Some people have guilt written all over their face. You know it when you see it, like art.
He liked the ache in his knuckles, and the satisfaction of being the one willing to make the hard choices and do the right thing.
He thought he knew Yusuke, thought he was building some kind of grudging respect despite it all. And here he is, calling him a son of a bitch. And he's not wrong.
Like the kid said. Sorry doesn't bring his dad back.
His voice grates like a chunk of metal dragged over concrete.]
There's decisions you only have a split second to make. Ones lives depend on. Everybody else has all the time in the world to say why you were wrong. Then you live with it.
I did what I thought I had to do.
Edited 2015-01-31 09:24 (UTC)
Is that so.
[God. Yusuke shakes his head and scrubs a hand over his face, a chuckle rattling its way out of his throat. There's no humor in the sound - only bitter disbelief. To think he'd grown to trust this asshole...
Whatever. It doesn't matter, Yusuke decides fiercely, trying to ignore the sick feeling in the pit of his stomach and the ache in his chest as he sets his jaw and looks at Blake again. His gaze is hard, his lips pressed into a thin line. He's not yelling anymore, but the anger is still there in his voice - and so is the contempt.]
Funny. None of the split-second decisions I've had to make were ever about whether or not I wanted to commit to drowning a little kid.
[God. Yusuke shakes his head and scrubs a hand over his face, a chuckle rattling its way out of his throat. There's no humor in the sound - only bitter disbelief. To think he'd grown to trust this asshole...
Whatever. It doesn't matter, Yusuke decides fiercely, trying to ignore the sick feeling in the pit of his stomach and the ache in his chest as he sets his jaw and looks at Blake again. His gaze is hard, his lips pressed into a thin line. He's not yelling anymore, but the anger is still there in his voice - and so is the contempt.]
Funny. None of the split-second decisions I've had to make were ever about whether or not I wanted to commit to drowning a little kid.
There's nothing else I can tell you.
[It was all a matter of time, anyway. He had to find out sooner or later, and what did Blake think was going to happen? That somebody who cared about Shaun and who'd seen how the kid's face crumpled into fear and hate when Blake was in the same hemisphere, that he'd say aw well everybody makes mistakes when he found out why?
He'd like to be able to say it's not fair.
Two years away from home has worn down the good, self-righteous anger that use to protect him from anybody who had the gall to think they could have done better. Right now, he's just tired.
When he was drunk off his ass on New Year's Eve, Yusuke brought him water.
He's reaching for the button to shut the phone off.] Goodb-
[Wait.
That's strange.
It hits his stomach first, a tight, sinking sensation that something is wronger than he could have imagined.
It takes a long second for the world in his head to reorient to what Yusuke means.
He's immobile. A word comes out like the breath you lose when you take a hit.]
What?
[It was all a matter of time, anyway. He had to find out sooner or later, and what did Blake think was going to happen? That somebody who cared about Shaun and who'd seen how the kid's face crumpled into fear and hate when Blake was in the same hemisphere, that he'd say aw well everybody makes mistakes when he found out why?
He'd like to be able to say it's not fair.
Two years away from home has worn down the good, self-righteous anger that use to protect him from anybody who had the gall to think they could have done better. Right now, he's just tired.
When he was drunk off his ass on New Year's Eve, Yusuke brought him water.
He's reaching for the button to shut the phone off.] Goodb-
[Wait.
That's strange.
It hits his stomach first, a tight, sinking sensation that something is wronger than he could have imagined.
It takes a long second for the world in his head to reorient to what Yusuke means.
He's immobile. A word comes out like the breath you lose when you take a hit.]
What?
[Oh no you don't-- Yusuke's about to snarl at him, to warn him not to turn his 'Gear off or else. But before he can even get the first word out, Blake stops up short, and so does he, regarding him flatly.]
... What, you didn't hear me, old man?
[He huffs derisively. Well, all right then. Fine. His expression dark, Yusuke looks Blake right in the eye and tells him, slowly and clearly so that he's sure he'll understand:]
I said that unlike you, I've never gambled with the life of a kid. You think you can look me in the face and lecture me about making life or death decisions when the one you made involved someone you were trying to kill? Someone that people like us are supposed to protect?
You've got some fucking nerve.
... What, you didn't hear me, old man?
[He huffs derisively. Well, all right then. Fine. His expression dark, Yusuke looks Blake right in the eye and tells him, slowly and clearly so that he's sure he'll understand:]
I said that unlike you, I've never gambled with the life of a kid. You think you can look me in the face and lecture me about making life or death decisions when the one you made involved someone you were trying to kill? Someone that people like us are supposed to protect?
You've got some fucking nerve.
[His body and brain have locked in place. There is the distant sound of blood in his ears. Plastic creaks as his hand grips tight to the phone, and the display begins to shake.]
You think I was the Origami Killer.
You think I was the Origami Killer.
["The Origami Killer"? Well, that's new. It doesn't matter, though. Something about how this conversation is starting to shift bothers Yusuke a little, but he ignores it, stubbornly shoving any traces of uncertainty back into the far back of his mind where it belongs. There's no room for doubt. Not now.
Not after all he's heard.
Yusuke's gaze doesn't waver as he responds. His voice is cold.]
If by that you mean I think you tried to murder Shaun, then yeah.
I do.
Not after all he's heard.
Yusuke's gaze doesn't waver as he responds. His voice is cold.]
If by that you mean I think you tried to murder Shaun, then yeah.
I do.
[His breath comes out in a hiss.] You crazy bastard.
[His hand slams down on the table with a force that makes it jump and the impact reverberate up through his arm, and the coals that have been choking him burst into life and it turns into a roar that smashes the cold silence of the night.] You stupid little shit!
[He could handle the usual guilt but this is something else. This is betrayal.
Him the killer, him standing over little kids as they pleaded for help and the cold waters rose up. Him responsible for the small sheet-covered bodies in the rain.
He yanks the phone toward his face and snarls directly into it.]
I never hurt any little kid, and fuck you for ever thinking I would!
[His hand slams down on the table with a force that makes it jump and the impact reverberate up through his arm, and the coals that have been choking him burst into life and it turns into a roar that smashes the cold silence of the night.] You stupid little shit!
[He could handle the usual guilt but this is something else. This is betrayal.
Him the killer, him standing over little kids as they pleaded for help and the cold waters rose up. Him responsible for the small sheet-covered bodies in the rain.
He yanks the phone toward his face and snarls directly into it.]
I never hurt any little kid, and fuck you for ever thinking I would!
[Oh, now Blake's getting pissed off and denying everything. Yusuke doesn't understand why he's suddenly backpedaling now, but he doesn't care. The second Blake finishes shouting at him, he snaps right back, a fresh wave of anger crashing over him.]
Okay, so if it wasn't you, then how do you explain all that shit you said when I asked you who the kidnapper was?! Huh?! "It wasn't my fault" -- what, you just decided to throw that out there, or are you just feeding me crap 'cause you know that if I EVER see your face in person again, I'll make you wish this fucking freak show of a dimension was Hell!
Okay, so if it wasn't you, then how do you explain all that shit you said when I asked you who the kidnapper was?! Huh?! "It wasn't my fault" -- what, you just decided to throw that out there, or are you just feeding me crap 'cause you know that if I EVER see your face in person again, I'll make you wish this fucking freak show of a dimension was Hell!
backdated to 1/13 | video [locked]; HEAVY RAIN SPOILERS
lieutenantantichrist
2015-02-01 12:05 pm (UTC)(link)
[Blake retorts immediately, biting the words like bullets. It's as much a physical reflex as a counterpunch.]
It wasn't my fault because I trusted him, goddammit! He was my friend!
It wasn't my fault because I trusted him, goddammit! He was my friend!
[... well, that definitely throws Yusuke off. If there was any cover story he expected Blake to whip out first thing, it certainly wasn't that. Still, he's not convinced, and it's obvious by the suspicious look he gives Blake a second later.]
Your friend.
[He sounds skeptical. You know what, sure, what the hell. He'll give Blake a chance to talk. It's not like he's close enough for him to punch anyway.]
Your friend.
[He sounds skeptical. You know what, sure, what the hell. He'll give Blake a chance to talk. It's not like he's close enough for him to punch anyway.]
backdated to 1/13 | video [locked]; HEAVY RAIN SPOILERS
lieutenantantichrist
2015-02-01 12:43 pm (UTC)(link)
[The anger burning in Carter's gut feeds him the strength not to have to hear what he's saying.]
I thought I fucking knew him!
[His fist strikes the table again, and the ache sets in.]
He was a good cop!
I thought I fucking knew him!
[His fist strikes the table again, and the ache sets in.]
He was a good cop!
[Up until now, Yusuke had been convinced that Blake had to have been the one who tried to murder Shaun. Everything added up: the way Blake had acted when confronted about the kidnapper, what Shaun said about the kidnapper having been dressed like a cop, whatever the hell it was that Blake said he'd done to a kid, all the things Blake's been saying for the past several minutes...
All of it pointed to Blake being the kidnapper, and there hadn't been a shred of doubt in Yusuke's mind that he was right about that. Or, well... maybe that isn't true. He had, after all, been struck with the sense that something was off just a minute ago, when Blake finally started getting angry. But he'd dismissed it. Figured it was just him looking for reasons not to believe what seemed to be so obviously true. Now, though...
Now he finds himself watching and listening to Blake talk about this friend of his (who, apparently, was also a cop - he doesn't miss the significance of that detail), and thinking, with a sudden sinking feeling in his chest, that maybe he hadn't just been imagining things. That maybe something here is off. Blake could just be fooling him right now, but everything he's seeing right now seems genuine. Like Blake isn't just trying to give him some bullshit cover story.
An icy feeling of dread knots in Yusuke's stomach. Shit. Fuck. He didn't get this all wrong, did he? He doesn't know, but he resolves not to let his conviction slip too much. It's too early for him to go changing his mind about everything just yet.]
Blake-- hey!
[He raises his voice, hoping it'll get Blake's attention. He watches the old man carefully, his brow furrowed. For the first time in a while now, he looks more confused and alarmed than he does angry.]
Back up a second. You're saying this guy was the one who did it?
[He's already pretty positive that's exactly what Blake is saying, but he figures maybe asking him directly'll get him talking about it.]
All of it pointed to Blake being the kidnapper, and there hadn't been a shred of doubt in Yusuke's mind that he was right about that. Or, well... maybe that isn't true. He had, after all, been struck with the sense that something was off just a minute ago, when Blake finally started getting angry. But he'd dismissed it. Figured it was just him looking for reasons not to believe what seemed to be so obviously true. Now, though...
Now he finds himself watching and listening to Blake talk about this friend of his (who, apparently, was also a cop - he doesn't miss the significance of that detail), and thinking, with a sudden sinking feeling in his chest, that maybe he hadn't just been imagining things. That maybe something here is off. Blake could just be fooling him right now, but everything he's seeing right now seems genuine. Like Blake isn't just trying to give him some bullshit cover story.
An icy feeling of dread knots in Yusuke's stomach. Shit. Fuck. He didn't get this all wrong, did he? He doesn't know, but he resolves not to let his conviction slip too much. It's too early for him to go changing his mind about everything just yet.]
Blake-- hey!
[He raises his voice, hoping it'll get Blake's attention. He watches the old man carefully, his brow furrowed. For the first time in a while now, he looks more confused and alarmed than he does angry.]
Back up a second. You're saying this guy was the one who did it?
[He's already pretty positive that's exactly what Blake is saying, but he figures maybe asking him directly'll get him talking about it.]
backdated to 1/13 | video [locked]; HEAVY RAIN SPOILERS
lieutenantantichrist
2015-02-02 01:01 pm (UTC)(link)
[The phone clatters onto the table, skewing the view of the man whose head falls into his hands above it.]
Yeah. It was him.
[His fingers clench tight in his hair and scrape his scalp.]
The kind of guy you'd never suspect. Upstanding fucking citizen. People trusted him. And all that time...
[He'd been watching little boys drown.
He forces the words out.] My old partner.
[Something about knowing you'd been played for a fool never dulled.
Blake's eyes turn to the screen. The hatred in them isn't for Yusuke, but he's who's there.]
So it wasn't me, you fucking asshole.
Yeah. It was him.
[His fingers clench tight in his hair and scrape his scalp.]
The kind of guy you'd never suspect. Upstanding fucking citizen. People trusted him. And all that time...
[He'd been watching little boys drown.
He forces the words out.] My old partner.
[Something about knowing you'd been played for a fool never dulled.
Blake's eyes turn to the screen. The hatred in them isn't for Yusuke, but he's who's there.]
So it wasn't me, you fucking asshole.
[...
For a long time, Yusuke doesn't say anything. He's been standing here for a while now, talking to Blake, and by now, the sweat on his skin has dried, leaving him feeling cold and clammy beneath the rickety old ceiling fans. The chill permeates his skin, sinking through to the bone; even his blood feels cold, and grows colder still as the enormity of the situation presses in on him like a weight. It was Blake's partner who tried to murder Shaun, not Blake himself. Or so Blake says, anyway; Yusuke doesn't precisely know what he ought to believe now, after his initial gut instinct proved to be less unshakable than he'd thought it was, but...
He does know how Blake looked, when he described the guy: head down, hunched over in a manner Yusuke'd never seen from him before. And he knows that anguish like that is hard to fake. Certainly, there was still the possibility that Blake could be faking it, but somehow, Yusuke... doesn't think he is.
That only means one thing: Yusuke accused the wrong person. Not just any person, either - someone who, against all odds, he'd grown to think of as a friend. It's funny. A couple years ago, he hated Blake's guts. Now here he is, faced with the increasingly large possibility that he'd accused the old man of a crime he didn't commit, and feeling every bit as terrible about it as he would've if Blake had been one of his teammates from home.
There's one piece of this entire puzzle that doesn't fit, though, and as dry and constricted as Yusuke's throat feels right now, he knows he has to push through it in order to find the truth. So he does. The question comes out much more quietly than the ones that preceded it did, but Yusuke's voice is as level and firm as ever when he asks it. He makes damn sure that it is.]
Okay, so what did you do, then?
[It's hard to look at Blake right now. How could it not be, with the way Blake's staring at him like he wants to reach through the screen and wring his fucking neck? But this is something Yusuke needs to know, and besides, he's never been one to flinch in the face of an ugly glare. So he keeps his eyes on Blake, using every ounce of strength in him to maintain the look of steely-eyed determination on his face. If he looks a little pale, well, it's obviously only a trick of the gym's harsh fluorescent light. After all, what other explanation for it could there be?]
You told me about it, back when Steve sent that message over the network. About how you screwed up. You said there was some kid you owed an apology to.
You were talking about Shaun, weren't you?
[It was the only answer that made sense. Sure, Blake could've been talking about someone he'd met here, but he'd talked about this world as if he'd been sent here specifically to atone for what he'd done, and well, last Yusuke'd checked, you can't be sent to Hell for something you did while you were already in Hell. And since Blake and Shaun were from the same world...]
For a long time, Yusuke doesn't say anything. He's been standing here for a while now, talking to Blake, and by now, the sweat on his skin has dried, leaving him feeling cold and clammy beneath the rickety old ceiling fans. The chill permeates his skin, sinking through to the bone; even his blood feels cold, and grows colder still as the enormity of the situation presses in on him like a weight. It was Blake's partner who tried to murder Shaun, not Blake himself. Or so Blake says, anyway; Yusuke doesn't precisely know what he ought to believe now, after his initial gut instinct proved to be less unshakable than he'd thought it was, but...
He does know how Blake looked, when he described the guy: head down, hunched over in a manner Yusuke'd never seen from him before. And he knows that anguish like that is hard to fake. Certainly, there was still the possibility that Blake could be faking it, but somehow, Yusuke... doesn't think he is.
That only means one thing: Yusuke accused the wrong person. Not just any person, either - someone who, against all odds, he'd grown to think of as a friend. It's funny. A couple years ago, he hated Blake's guts. Now here he is, faced with the increasingly large possibility that he'd accused the old man of a crime he didn't commit, and feeling every bit as terrible about it as he would've if Blake had been one of his teammates from home.
There's one piece of this entire puzzle that doesn't fit, though, and as dry and constricted as Yusuke's throat feels right now, he knows he has to push through it in order to find the truth. So he does. The question comes out much more quietly than the ones that preceded it did, but Yusuke's voice is as level and firm as ever when he asks it. He makes damn sure that it is.]
Okay, so what did you do, then?
[It's hard to look at Blake right now. How could it not be, with the way Blake's staring at him like he wants to reach through the screen and wring his fucking neck? But this is something Yusuke needs to know, and besides, he's never been one to flinch in the face of an ugly glare. So he keeps his eyes on Blake, using every ounce of strength in him to maintain the look of steely-eyed determination on his face. If he looks a little pale, well, it's obviously only a trick of the gym's harsh fluorescent light. After all, what other explanation for it could there be?]
You told me about it, back when Steve sent that message over the network. About how you screwed up. You said there was some kid you owed an apology to.
You were talking about Shaun, weren't you?
[It was the only answer that made sense. Sure, Blake could've been talking about someone he'd met here, but he'd talked about this world as if he'd been sent here specifically to atone for what he'd done, and well, last Yusuke'd checked, you can't be sent to Hell for something you did while you were already in Hell. And since Blake and Shaun were from the same world...]
backdated to 1/13 | video [locked]; HEAVY RAIN SPOILERS
lieutenantantichrist
2015-02-03 01:43 pm (UTC)(link)
[Somebody wrong about the Origami Killer, when they're real, real sure they're right. God, it's funny, isn't it? The world has a great fucking sense of humor.
If it was somebody like Jayden, that would be different. That asshole had had it out for him from day one, he'd try to nail him for the fucking Lindbergh baby. But Yusuke he'd thought he was coming to understand.
Blake wants a drink. He wants to sleep for a week. He wants not to have done what he did.]
Yeah. I was.
[His heart is thudding in slow, hard slaps that hurt, like even that muscle can get tired. When Yusuke talks about Steve's message, the familiarity of that water-stained wall behind him on the display snaps into place. It's that same shitty gym from that long, long night.
There's no reason to hold anything back now. It wouldn't do any good. He's seen the look on Yusuke's face before: those damn young rookies who have more energy than sense, who don't give up until they've found the answer they want. Anyway, dragging the old, ugly shit out is the kind of self-destructive that has a special appeal to it tonight. It always feels good to break something.
Might as well get straight to the point.]
The kid's dad was suspect number one. I was so damn sure...all I gave a damn about was getting my hands on him, while the real killer walked by right under my nose.
[Hearing it aloud makes the blood pound in his temples, along with the old, useless words about how that fucking son of a bitch was lucky he'd met with a garbage grinder and not Blake.
He makes himself go on.]
We got him in custody. We were down to the wire.
I hurt him pretty bad.
[Just an interrogation like a hundred others, except for how quiet he was.]
He got away. When we found him, we had him at gunpoint. That's where things get weird.
[The snow falls softly, piling against the window.]
Where I'm from, I gave the order to stand down. Where Shaun's from?
[It's the kind of thing that sinks down through the bottom of bleak until it comes out almost weightless, like the punchline to a joke you know isn't funny.]
I killed him.
If it was somebody like Jayden, that would be different. That asshole had had it out for him from day one, he'd try to nail him for the fucking Lindbergh baby. But Yusuke he'd thought he was coming to understand.
Blake wants a drink. He wants to sleep for a week. He wants not to have done what he did.]
Yeah. I was.
[His heart is thudding in slow, hard slaps that hurt, like even that muscle can get tired. When Yusuke talks about Steve's message, the familiarity of that water-stained wall behind him on the display snaps into place. It's that same shitty gym from that long, long night.
There's no reason to hold anything back now. It wouldn't do any good. He's seen the look on Yusuke's face before: those damn young rookies who have more energy than sense, who don't give up until they've found the answer they want. Anyway, dragging the old, ugly shit out is the kind of self-destructive that has a special appeal to it tonight. It always feels good to break something.
Might as well get straight to the point.]
The kid's dad was suspect number one. I was so damn sure...all I gave a damn about was getting my hands on him, while the real killer walked by right under my nose.
[Hearing it aloud makes the blood pound in his temples, along with the old, useless words about how that fucking son of a bitch was lucky he'd met with a garbage grinder and not Blake.
He makes himself go on.]
We got him in custody. We were down to the wire.
I hurt him pretty bad.
[Just an interrogation like a hundred others, except for how quiet he was.]
He got away. When we found him, we had him at gunpoint. That's where things get weird.
[The snow falls softly, piling against the window.]
Where I'm from, I gave the order to stand down. Where Shaun's from?
[It's the kind of thing that sinks down through the bottom of bleak until it comes out almost weightless, like the punchline to a joke you know isn't funny.]
I killed him.
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