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[lieutenantantichrist]

"Carter Blake. What do you want?"

Comments

Re: text

[rocketralph]

SOUNDS LIKE A WHOLE LOT OF PEOPLE ARE AFRAID OF BEEDRILL

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[lieutenantantichrist]

FUCK YOUR BEES

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[rocketralph]

WELP
I'LL LEAVE YOU TO IT THEN.

[rarestcandy]

jeepers mister i didn't know you'd be mad! no one else was.

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[voidedrogue]

haha oh fuck thats a lot
so you need to send at least 50 or youll get chased by like what
500?? beedrills?
duuuude

good news is that youre popular tho
congrats

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[ajustcaws]

uh... who's getting hurt...???

oh okay!! that's... weird as heck, but i'll go with it. i dunno, i don't hate spam, though... maybe it's because the novelty hasn't worn off. who knew you could can meat like that!

[lieutenantantichrist]

Don't you jeepers mister me.

How many people did you send this crap to?

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[lieutenantantichrist]

I WILL STOMP EVERY BEE IN THE FUCKING HEMISPHERE INTO BEE PASTE

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[lieutenantantichrist]

YEAH YOU BETTER FUCKING RUN

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[lieutenantantichrist]

Whoever started this bullshit is going to be picking their teeth out of the grass for a week.

That ain't even meat, kid. It's what's trimmed off the real stuff. Probably rats, too.

[angerpoints]

Eh... not bad, but not as good as the last one, either. I mean, c'mon, think about it. By the time you wrestled my phone away from me and found a sock to stick it in, I'd either be gone already or I'd be getting ready to punch your lights out. You've gotta be a little more efficient than that if you wanna kick my ass.

[GEEZ OLD MAN DON'T YOU KNOW ANYTHING]

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[ajustcaws]

aw come on it's just a little bit of fun.

...and i don't know, it didn't TASTE like there was rat in it.

[berkthorn]

It was the dragons that used to burn things down. Guilty on the boat thing, though.

[rarestcandy]

enough to get the good luck, sir! it said to send it to as many people as possible to increase your chances.

also you shouldn't say that word either

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[lieutenantantichrist]

That's what the guys who throw lit matches into dumpsters say.

Kid, spam's made of the stuff they won't even put in hot dogs.

[lieutenantantichrist]

[Blake is not remotely listening.]

I'M GONNA SMACK YOU TIL CANDY COMES OUT

[lieutenantantichrist]

NOBODY HAS DRAGON AND BOAT SCHOOLS

[lieutenantantichrist]

If I were you I'd go into witness protection for a while.

What the fuck is wrong with 'crap'?

[angerpoints]

[... okay then, if that's how this conversation's gonna go, then--]

OH YEAH? WELL I'M GONNA STICK MY FOOT SO FAR UP YOUR ASS I'LL BE RUNNING MARATHONS OUTTA YOUR MOUTH

[1, 2, 3, 4, HE DECLARES A TRASH TALK WAR. SHOW HIM WHAT YOU GOT, GRANDPA.]

[lieutenantantichrist]

GO AHEAD AND TRY IT, ASSHOLE

I'LL RIP OUT YOUR SHINBONES AND PLAY THE DRUM SOLO FROM IN A GADDA DA VIDA ON YOUR FUCKING FACE

[angerpoints]

I'LL YANK YOUR SMALL INTESTINE OUTTA YOUR THROAT AND YOUR LARGE INTESTINE OUTTA YOUR ASS AND USE YOU LIKE A JUMP ROPE

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[ajustcaws]

but that would be TOTALLY fun if it wasn't near a building or anything. especially if it went up with a FOOM!!!!

well you've gotta do something with that stuff, right??

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[lieutenantantichrist]

[typing hastily] kid don't do any arson

Yeah, throw it away. Or put it in school lunches.

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[ajustcaws]

woah i wouldn't burn anyone's house down or anything!! that's like the opposite of heroic. but big fires are COOL.

i mean.

HOT.

i mean. wait.

well i mean i can't approve of throwing away perfectly good meat even if the origin is kind of gross!! that's just wasteful.

[lieutenantantichrist]

OH YEAH? TRY IT WHEN I TIE YOUR TONGUE TO A FLAGPOLE AND HAVE YOU FOR A FUCKING TETHERBALL